REVIEWS, COMMENTS, OPINIONS. HOW HELPFUL ARE THEY REALLY?

    
                   

     

        On my goodreads page these are my available stats: 

                                          886 ratings (3.50 avg.)     27 reviews

 

Title Idea: Isn’t it great to be able to read other people’s ratings to help you evaluate a product?  I love Amazon (for their products) and Kindle and Goodreads, because you can read so many reviews and that can help you make a more informed decision.  Usually. Isn't that what its intent is?

 Except when you don’t like what they say and you are dumb enough to reply. (That was me).

 

MY LATEST RICIDULOUS THEORY: 

If you read my review of the Butterfly Garden, you’ll know that I really loved that book.  After reading it, I posted a review on Goodreads. I also looked at some other reviews. I read some that were only one star, because I was curious as to the reasons someone would not be liking something I thought was so good. There was one review, where the woman,  who,in my opinion, ranted about how awful the book was for five or six long paragraphs. Why would someone put so much energy into not liking a book?  In my stupidity, I posted a reply. Do you remember the term “flame war?”

 

THEORY:

People enjoy expressing themselves. They do not however, like, when they are disagreed with.

 

 

HYPOTHESIS:

 When most people express their opinions, they believe they are right. Well, we all think our opinions are right or why would we express them? (Except for our friend Fred, who enjoys stirring people up. You probably know someone like him. They're fun as long as you're on to them). Many people do not understand that an opinion is not an actual fact, and will fight til the death defending their words.

Research design:

In this instance, all I have to go on is my experience. Being old is always a good justification for that. Except maybe when it comes to technology. Although I have been on line for many years. Especially on Ebay. And I think that may have been where you could get in trouble because they didn’t have the rating system and monitors they now have.

Back in the day, if you said something someone didn’t like, you incited a "war." Nasty words flew back and forth and it was definitely not something you wanted to get involved with. I never did.  Not until, well, here’s the story.

 

In research we call this anecdotal evidence. Which is the fancy way to say, “oh yeah, this is what happened to me.” This is what we use when we don’t have any actual statistics to back us up. (Think of this like insider trading only since there’s no money involved we can’t get arrested).

Now I get to tell a story.

 You can check the year, since I’m too lazy. It was right after Michael Jackson died. I had this really cute broach which was a Mickey Mouse head, with attached, swinging gloved hands. It was gold tone with rhinestones and in perfect condition.

I couldn't find the pin on line. It must be really rare.

 

I had purchased it quite a few years before I decided that Michael was a sicko, so I decided it might be a good time to sell. I put it on Ebay and had one winning bid. From a woman named Dawn.

I waited for payment and it didn’t come. I sent her an email. Her response was an apology but she had bid on impulse and she and her family didn’t even have rent money etc. so she wouldn’t be buying it and it was my fault for tempting her. In retrospect, I should have let her go. But blaming me? That brought out my stubborn. I wrote back that I would inform Ebay and she would get a negative review. So, before anything happened she wrote an awful review about me. I don’t recall the deets, but it pissed me off. I had 100% positive feedback and was not going to let this nutcase get away with this!

I put in a complaint to Ebay because she was wrong, and I wanted that review removed and didn’t want to pay the commission on money I hadn’t received.

The next communications I received from Dawn, after berating me, were mostly her telling me I was the devil and she and her pastor were praying for me. I think that was her way of apologizing.

 

At that point I pursued the proper channels. I got them to drop the charges against her (since I was not looking to do anything more with her) and had Ebay take down the feedback. I never posted anything negative about her. It was like nothing had happened. Mostly I forgot about it. Until now.

 

Working definitions.

Every site has a different term or format for feedback from its customers. On

Goodreads you write and give a numbers of stars for a review of a book.

Facts:

I read a review that I responded to on Goodreads. Honestly, I had no idea that Lucille would be so offended. As I mentioned she really put what sounded to me, like vitriol into this review. I disagreed with her reasoning and the only thing that I said that seemed to set her off, was, “where is all this hate coming from?”  (I have since deleted my posts because I didn’t want them there).  I assumed she would understand that I meant hate for the book. Here is where I will say that I was picking up something in my unconscious. My training was kicking in. Because if you read her replies, she actually was rather hateful.

I got a reply and was a bit surprised at how angry she was. She thought I was calling her hateful, I think, and then lambasted me for my opinion of the book.

One other woman wrote something that supported what I said, but then a couple of other women and Lucile kept coming back with me being an awful person. I had of course apologized initially. I never meant to say anything hurtful and said so. I also said everyone was entitled to their opinions. And she wrote back something else. And something else.

I decided, okay. Another Dawn. I stopped responding. Actually, I only responded twice and let it go. Then, a month later, I get another email about a new thread. She is still on me and saying something like she’s going to be happy to ignore me. Huh? I hadn't been writing.

Just another day in my life.  That’s when I deleted all my posts.

Findings:  Most of the time, reading other people’s reviews of products is a good thing. I like sharing (as you know since I’m writing this blog) and understand that not everyone will give a thumbs up. I actually appreciate the negative reviews, you know, like the product wasn’t well made, the screws don’t line up. Things that are helpful. I suppose, one should keep this in mind. Reviews of an actual product that has dimension and purpose is easier to write. about. It can be based on facts and not just opinions.

 

 

CONCLUSIONS:

Reviews, comments, thumbs up or thumbs down are useful tools.  However, they are probably best used when there is an actual product involved. If you are reading an opinion, you have to remember that. It is only a person’s opinion. And a person you don’t know. Looking at the overall stats is probably better than reading the individual remarks. Also, if you don’t like something, it’s probably best to keep it to yourself. At least in my humble opinion. It's just an opinion. And only mine. It really bears no weight anywhere. Except in my head, and oh yeah,

 on this blog.

I don’t want only positive comments. I would love to have a dialogue. Discourse and disagreements are places where you can learn. Just be careful where you leave your footprint.

Thanks for reading. As always, your friend in cyberspace.

Guess which one is Fred.

FEAR OF FARTING YEAH PASSING GAS IS P.C. BUT WHY DO WE NEED TO BE PC ON A NOT SO EASY TO CONTROL BIOLOGICAL ACT?

Fear of Farting. Actually, we use that term when we are being politically incorrect. If we are in polite society we might say, passing gas or breaking wind. Or ignore it. That’s the most usual way, especially when not with good friends or immediate family.

 

The scientific study of this area of medicine is termed flatology.

Okay. That’s not something I’d want on my resume. Nor did I even know that such an area existed.  I told you that you can get an education here.

 

My question is: why is it that people are so uptight about our biological functions?

THEORY:

Human beings want to believe they are not animals, therefore, they repudiate basic biological functions. (Meaning, like, me? My body? Um, no, it doesn’t do that).

 

HYPOTHESIS:

If we make fun of, or hide, bodily functions, we distance ourselves from our true animal nature which we find disagreeable, as we believe we are “above” such things.  (Meaning, I can think, I have a big brain, I am not an animal, and I am a human which is way, way better.)

 

I chose to use the biology of flatulence to demonstrate my hypothesis.

Imagine a yoga class, early in the morning. Forty people are bending and stretching and yeah, probably experiencing flatulence. Every once in a while, in the quiet, you hear one that refuses to be kept in. No one says a word. Everyone notices.  No it wasn’t me. Although it could have been, why should that bother me?

 

The accepted term for having excess gas, is flatulence. There is no medical term equivalent to farting.

The Oxford English Dictionary (OED), in its inimitable way, notes that the word "fart" is "not in decent use." The OED defines the transitive verb form of fart: "To send forth as wind from the anus 1632." The word comes from the Old English "feortan" (meaning "to break wind"). Although the word "fart" is "not in decent use," it was used by the likes of the great English poet Geoffrey Chaucer.

 

The noises commonly associated with flatulence ("Blowing a raspberry") are caused by the vibration of anal sphincters, and occasionally by the closed buttocks. Both the noise and smell associated with flatus leaving the anus can be sources of embarrassment or comedy in many cultures.

 

A very small history of flatulence.

Historical comment on the ability to fart at will is observed as early as Saint Augustine's The City of God (5th century AD).

Okay.  That’s what I meant by small.

The rest of the blog will hopefully be images taken off the net. They pretty much say it better than words.

 

 

 

Why are we such snobs? When we have instinctual urges we feel as though our bodies are betraying us.

 

 

Yes, I do understand not wanting to be around a really smelly fart. That doesn't mean we have to point our fingers and laugh.

 

I wonder if we weren't more accepting of our animal aspects, if we would have fewer overeaters, under eaters, bathroom issues like constipation and diarrhea. Sorry, I guess it's one of those who gives a shit days. HA!

 

I'm not advocating for walking around naked or peeing in the streets. Although there are many what we consider undeveloped countries where they do just that.

 

I'm only saying that we might be better off accepting who and what we are. Animals are territorial. Our wars may be a distortion of that instinct.

Oh yeah, I forgot. Our wars are for profit. The ones who have to fight them think about it as territorial.

 

How can we tame the beast inside? Sometimes, acceptance is the first step.

You can't change what you don't acknowledge.

 

We Are Animals. Let's Deal With It.

 

 

Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

I have a new address. And I think I can stay here too. Does that mean I'm bi-blogal?

Alright. I'm working on it. I do have, I believe, a blog on WordPress.

I'm working out the deets which could take , forever. It's so different.

I think there is a way to direct my readers from here to there. I just have so many printed directions and instructions that I have to go through them. But first I need an Irish coffee at 10am. This is bad.

They said I should tell my friends.  that I just installed a website on wordpress and it had an https.  All my own. Isn't that exciting?

I hope you can put it into a search and it should come up since there aren't that many sites with this ridiculous name. I'm babbling. Sorry.


http://www.drgsridiculoustheories.com


at the end it says via Softaculous with a hash tag. But I think that's just for them to advertise.

So, I'll keep you posted. Which is actually a pun. Since this is a post. I'm cracking myself up today. Or I've cracked up.

anyway, thanks for reading.

LIFE IS GETTING TOO SERIOUS. I NEED TO LAUGH. OLD AND NEW JOKES.

                                       The caption thingy isn't working. Anyway.
                             When I was young and 20......8 actually.


Sometimes we just need a good belly laugh. And I could use one now. Humor is an important part of my life. I did a post on it, so if you'd like to see the theory etc., go back and find it. That sounded harsh. That's the problem with reading a joke rather than hearing it. I don't know how to do moving pictures on the blog.

I don't know if one can laugh at written jokes, but I'll try to find a few humorous things to post and hope you get a chuckle or two.

Either later today or tomorrow, I'll be attempting to move the blog. They can't  do it because Google is a builder, not a host. They can only move from host to host or coast to coast. See all the little tidbits we're learning?
Anyway, I hope it's not impossible to post here, during the process, but if it is, as they say in show biz leave them laughing.

THE JOKES


I was reading up on healthy eating. It mentioned Kale (gag me). The "pro" tip was to massage the Kale for a few minutes to soften and reduce bitterness.
Do you think this would work on my husband?
(I  found this on a piece of paper with health tips. I think I added the question. We all know it would work on wives. The problem is, well we all know what happens when men either give or get massages.)


These I got from a flip over book. Like a daily reader. It was, believe it or not, written by two men. So don't blame me for the male bashing.
Of course I did choose which ones to post, but the pro men quotes were all mostly X-rated. I'll go back and find some that are  clean and could relate to  either sex.


If a man speaks in the middle of a forest, and there is no woman to hear him, Is he still wrong?

Don't talk to my breasts. They're deaf.

I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is improving.

I like my men super rich and almost dead.

I'm not that old. Your music really does suck!

My sexual preference is often.

It's no mistake that man's best friend can't talk.

Please. Don't interrupt me while I'M IGNORING YOU.

Divorce is expensive.     Freedom is priceless.

 

I tried to drown my troubles, but my husband learned how to swim.

Don't hate yourself in the morning. Sleep till noon.

Friday is casual sex day.

Okay. Enough of those.


       I hope you don't think this is stupid. (okay it is. But it struck me as funny because she's sitting on the settee in this position and if you know little kids, you'll get it.) 

 

"Um, Shari."

"Yes Lambchop."

 

"I have to pee."

 

"Damn. Okay guys. Stop filming. She is such a Diva."

 

Have a Fun Day filled With Laughs.

yes. I've lost it.

thanks for reading.

 

sush. ssh. am I being paranoid?

 

 

 

 

I'm afraid this is one of their tech guys.

I'm using small print so Google won't hear me.(LOL on the mixed sense metaphor).  Yesterday I signed up with another blog site. Well, they host blogs, but I'm not really sure what they are.  I'm too scared to mention names. Especially after reading the "how to transfer your blog". Even with their tech help ( which I have a bad feeling I'm going to have to pay extra for), I'm not sure it will work.




I love Google. They are good hosts. I will still
hopefully be able to use Google+ for my photography posts and group. Damn. I still don't have the names of things down.
(it's called "I love Photography" Community.)

one of mine, but with my phone so it's grainy. I can't take my big camera everywhere because I can't leave it in the car because of the heat. I'm sure you all wanted to know that. oy.

I will try today, to follow the directions, but since I'm not sure if Google is a cPanel or not, this may delay moving. Also, I think you still have to request the other sites assistance to make the transfer, so you have to have an appointment because I have to put this on maintenance mode or some such thing.

instructions

Then, it can take more than 24 hours or who knows how long for it to happen. During that time, I don't think I'll be able to post here. I've no clue. Those who follow me, already are aware of this.

My question is, do you think that Google will send a hit man after me for leaving? Some relationship breakups are harder than others. I've never broken up with a website before, so I don't know.




And of course, as with all my important relationships, it's about communication. Why oh why couldn't they listen or respond?  All I asked for, repeatedly of course, was how to get my comment section to function. It seems that no one knows.

My husband was just on a local fishing blog  yesterday, that he thought looked a lot like mine.  He tried to post a comment.....poof. It disappeared, just like mine do.  Maybe, Google doesn't let anyone on their blogs receive comments. Or maybe they just single out those that are subversive.

If I should go missing, please try to find me. I supposedly have my own domain now.

     It's drgsridiculoustheories.com. 

I suppose I should check it out, although there won't be anything there. Will there?
The new email address is   drgsridiculoustheories.com@dns-protect.net . I think I'll sit right down and write myself a letter, and make believe it came from you.   Just as soon as I post this.




HYPOTHESIS:
People are afraid of the unknown. Therefore, people stay where they are, because it's comfortable.

CONCLUSION:
If you stay, you die. If you move, you die. So, if you're gonna die in the end, you might as well do it the way you prefer. No judgements.  Me, though, even though I'm afraid, I will move. Staying in my comfort zone provides no growth.

 

 

thanks for reading.

 

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON MY WAY TO THE ER LAST NIGHT

emergency rooms in port saint Lucie Florida

 

I was looking forward to an evening of reading. In peace. My husband was going surf casting at high tide ( maybe it was low) and it was happening at, get this, 7:30 PM.

That meant he's leaving at 5PM, not am,  and not return until 9PM.
Usually he goes in the morning so that he's home by the time I'm ready for my peace and quiet. This was a very special bonus with a bow on top.

The thing is, I love to read in [the living room ]and he talks to me even though he knows that with my ADHD, I need to concentrate without distractions. His being out at night was a gift.

I was cherishing my gift until a little after 7 pm when the house phone rang. Normally I let the machine pick up and left the caller hang up. That's what it is 98% of the time. But,  I had the feeling that I shouldn't ignore it like I always do and I got up and saw it was my husband. Then it stopped ringing. I assumed and ass dial.

"You're the one that I want" [from Grease} starts singing which is my hubbies' ring tone. I ran to the room where the phone was because I never have it near me,  and he's like, oh hi, how are you, I'm going to the ER.

What???  "Well, I cut myself on my leg and it's kind of bad so I think maybe I should go to the ER. You don't have to come but if you want you can meet me there."

My stomach is in my mouth. Apparently also up in my ears.  I asked him where he was. He said he was maybe 20 minutes away. I now know that time is not an actual location which is what I should have gotten.  I asked which ER.As you can see on the above picture, there are many in this area.  He said St. Lucie. This is where our memories differ. I assumed he was still near wherever he had been fishing, so he would go to the nearest ER. He was already on his way home and not where I thought he was. This is why communication is so important. And why we get an F.

He need clothes, since everything he had was soaked. I told him I'd get his clothes and I'd be on my way.
I packed up his stuff. And being so considerate I even remembered his Kindle in case there was a wait.

There hadn't been time to ask what he'd done to his leg. He just mentioned that he was worried because of the toxic algae and his cut had been in the water.
I thought maybe he hooked himself or maybe worse, used his knife and slashed his leg by mistake. I drove safely , which was hard, but it took about 25 minutes to get there.

I went in and asked for him. He wasn't there yet. The guard was very nice.

He gave me a visitor's pass.


Don't pay attention to pad I put it on. It's supposed to help me be organized but I forget to use it.

 

The guard couldn't find him on the computer. So, I called his phone from the outer desk only  it went to voice mail.

 

I had visions of him passing out from lack of blood and I had no idea where he had gone so I had no clue where he might be bleeding out in his SUV or crashed or dead. The guard sent me into the waiting room because maybe he'd check in and he missed it.  While the woman told me he wasn't there my phone rang. "you're the one that I want" too loud and at that moment, it was more like you're the one that I want to strangle.

 

He asked where I was and I asked where he was. Bloody Hell. He'd gone to the ER in St. Lucie West, five minutes from our home.  I was at the wrong ER. Or he was. Depends on your point of view.

 

I left and was really, really pissed off. You moms know how it is. When you find our your child isn't dead and just scared you, you want to kill them.

Ditto for husbands.

 

And so I drove back and went to the ER where he was.

 

 

 



this isn't the exact place but I didn't think to take a photo last night.

 

Of course the fist thing I did was yell at him. Anger is my friend. When all else fails, I can count on my anger to keep me grounded. It also keeps me focused so I don't have an accident while I'm driving.

 

So, we had a fight in front of the nurse and he did the usual crap about his wife always being right, while insisting he told me St. Lucie WEST. Fuck!

 

Okay. time to calm down. I'm with him. He's waiting for the Dr. to staple his calf and I'm about to pass out. Did I mention that I get queasy and faint when he's in the ER?

 

The nurse practitioner ( hereto be known as the NP)  comes in and looks at the wound, which by the way was gotten when he slipped on the rocks and got more scratches than from an angry bob cat.

 

There's only one bad one that's bleeding a lot. The nurse instructs him to hold the gauze on it to apply pressure to stop the bleeding. He does, but then he decides to take a look, so it starts bleeding again. This time they apply a pressure bandage and wait. And wait.

 

The NP comes back and decides he needs either two or three staples and that the numbing process will hurt more than just doing the staples so he forgoes that part. Two staples and he's hurting. We both wince. Okay.   He's done.

 

Now we divide up the division of labor. I'll go to the pharmacy and get his prescriptions and gauze rolls and Neosporin and he'll go home. He wanted to go to IHOP because he's hungry. I'm nauseous. We go our separate ways.

 

I'm checking out at Walgreen's and again, my phone rings. It's already 10 PM. The news flash.

He's going back to the ER because it's bleeding. I don't have to meet him, I can go home or whatever I chose to do. He's very kind that way.

 

I still have his kindle, so I think, okay. I'll deliver that and go home. I'm tired, nauseous and can't take any more drama.  Plus, I have the water to bring because of course there wouldn't be any in the hospital. Yeah. I think I had lost it a few hours ago. I also have his antibiotics and other meds so I'd best go back to the ER.

 

Receptionist: "Hi, he's in room six, go on in".  And back I go. At least this time he's dressed. I sat down and gave him his antibiotic which should be spelled Keflex but starts with a ce and I can't spell it.

 

The NP comes back and decides that maybe he could use some more staples and gives him three more. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. He asks if it's an artery. It's not, but it's a skin arterial something but they wrap him up real good this time and leave the pressure bandage on. Why am I still here?

 

He was reading Men's Health, so I didn't need to bring his kindle. Before he leaves they say he should walk around a bit to make sure it's okay. I guess they don't want him to come back.

So, I'm sitting with his magazine. He's very nice and as he leaves me in the room, he says they usually have some very hunky men in that magazine so I should enjoy myself. So, I take a look.

 

I sit and read. About will female sex robots take over for real women. This is in men's health?  The only pictures are of Mike I think that's his first name,  Cena. He's too dammed big for my likes. However, there was an Armani perfume ad on the back cover of Chris Pine's head and shoulders.  So, while no one was looking, I ripped it off and took it home. I apologize for being a thief.

I'm looking at him now. On my bulletin board next to my computer.

 

My husband got two stickers for being a good boy. All I got was the loss of my quiet night. 

 

thanks for listening.

I'M SERIOUSLY WORKING ON GETTING THE COMMENTS TO GET POSTED. SO FAR, SO BAD

I just want to give an update on how things are going with increasing my readership. It's working. A little. My husband and one of my God daughters were able to tell me how frustrating it is that they try to comment and it never goes through.

This has been a problem since day 1. I gave  fixing this a shot, but was unable at that time to do anything. So, I did what every red blooded American does with a problem. I forgot about it.

PS. There is no where in the help page or tools about comments. At least not that I could find.

Now, since it's come up again, I thought. Ah. Maybe if I pay for whatever "they" offer, it will allow comments to be posted.



So......... I looked this up on Blogger and it shows up as 'ads'.  So.
 I don't want what in the hell I'd be advertising, but I looked anyway to see what the cost was. Get this. For only $30, and I think I remember this right, but it doesn't seem possible, any time someone clicks on your link, you pay 30 bucks. Maybe I read it wrong. Maybe it was 30 bucks a day. But, even at that, who can spend that kind of money for people to click and possibly/probably not even read the damned thing?

I have friends who own a business and they pay big money to be at the top of engine searches. Some years ago, I think they paid $5 a hit, plus whatever it cost to be listed on top.  Any time anyone clicked on their site it cost them five dollars. Or did.  Well, Thank God they have a really thriving business, although I still can't imagine the cost.




In my fiendish little mind, though, I did have an idea. If I wasn't happy with a particular seller, I could repeatedly hit their site and cost them lots of money. On the other hand, they probably would have trackers and I'd get arrested. So, I'm glad I didn't do it. I know. I have morally reprehensible thoughts but I don't act on them. I suppose if I were Catholic I'd be going to Hell anyway. At least I wouldn't be lonely. So.  If I could, I'd hit Walmart's. Constantly. For hours and days.  Could I be sued if I suggested doing this to all of my readers?  On general principal I hate Walmart. Not just for what they did to our mom and pop stores. That was bad enough. So I have basically boycotted them for 4 years. Like they care.

When I found out that they are such horrible employers, I decided I couldn't shop there. They pay shit wages. They don't take full time employees so they don't have to pay medical or over time. They don't give their staff their schedules in advance, so having a second job, which when you work for them is necessary for survival, they almost can't have that second job, because you have to know what hours you can work for someone else. 

 Last year they made a big hoo ha ha about increasing wages. Apparently my boycott is working.
 My sources tell me it was a weak and unfulfilling gesture for most of their workers.  We, the public are not appeased you Bastards.

 

There I go off topic. Anyway, I am trying. On the comment thing. Maybe you forget also what I started out with.

 Remember you can comment on my face book page or on Google + or write an email to (I wasn't thinking when I made this ridiculously long address) Dr.gsridiculoustheories@gmail.com.




OMG. I hope that is an actual link. Maybe you won't have to retype it and can just write to me.  I will not get excited in advance. That leads to disappointment. I won't get excited in advance. I'll keep saying that to myself, and say, til the next time.

oops.  theory:
Life is difficult. It becomes more difficult when we care about something or someone.

          HYPOTHESIS:
If you don't care about something or someone, you will shrivel up and die.

ps.  I'M NOT GOING TO TRY TO PROVE THIS ONE. WE ALL KNOW IT'S TRUE.


So, again. Until the next time. keep reading. no matter what it is. Knowledge is power.

THE EVER PRESENT LIFE THEME GOOD VS. BAD WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

My latest ridiculous theory relates to how the concept of good and bad are constants.  They are played out in all of our moments, and we aren’t even aware of them. After finishing the Butterfly Garden, I was thinking about the Gardener's belief that was he was doing was a good service to the world. I’ve chosen the words, good and bad rather than using “evil” because it is much stronger than what I’m thinking about, and we all have a preconceived notion about that quote.

 

Definitions:

Good: Having the right qualities; untainted; virtuous; considerate, etc.

Bad: worthless; inferior; defective; unfit; wicked, etc.

As I see a certain, moral quality involved, I'll define moral.

 

Moral: Capable of distinguishing between right and wrong in conduct; good or right in conduct of character; principals or standards, with respect to right or wrong in conduct; ethics.

Ethics: Is the study of standards of conduct and moral judgement.  The system or code of morals of a particular person, religion, group, profession etc.
 

THEORY:

The ethical code that we were brought up with is imbedded in our neurological system and functions automatically, without our conscious awareness.

HYOPOTHESIS:

When going about our daily lives, we conduct ourselves according to these embedded ethics without any mindfulness. We are only aware of good or bad, when we are faced with something that creates a disturbance between our behavior and our beliefs.

 

RESEARCH DESIGN:

As this is a blog of my design, I have chosen not to do any actual research. I had my fill of that when I had to do my dissertation and other various papers.

I am going to put these research studies into two footnotes. These are powerful studies which I hope will make you think about your own beliefs in the strength of your own moral code.

 

footnotes

1. The Stanford Prison Experiment       

2.The Milgram’s Obedience Studies.

 

DATA/FINDINGS:

Collected from my personal life experience and a little bit of Freud.

I often think of characters in books, TV shows or movies in terms of Freud’s model of the id, ego and superego.

I first remember doing this for the original Star Trek.  I saw Captain Kirk as the ego. That part or ourselves, that has to deal and interact with the outside world. Its other job is to deal with thoughts and impulses of our inner life as well. Freud made a model that divided our inner workings into three parts.

A HELPFUL MINI-LESSON IN FREUD'S MODEL OF THE EGO:

The ego, well, I explained that already. See Captain Kirk.

The id, is that part of us that is uncivilized and all about fulfilling our needs. It’s the seat of impulse, and desire, the pleasure-seeking part of our personality.

The super-ego has two sides. It’s our conscience and tells us what is right and what is wrong. It also has a judgmental side which is our ego-ideal. The picture of the “perfect me”. If, in our super-egos eyes, we fail at this ideal, we tend to punish ourselves for not being good enough.

BACK TO STAR TREK:

So, Kirk was the ego. Spock was the Super-ego. The black and white thinking of, this is right or this is wrong. Bones, was like the id, all emotional and at times irrational and angry at not getting his way.  Kirk had to make choices between right and wrong, whether or not to give in to his emotional impulses or listen to reason. He often made the wrong choice as the episodes began.

GOOD AND BAD ON A DAILY BASIS:

It doesn’t matter whether you believe in Freud’s model. It’s just a theory that helps me to organize my views.

As I go throughout my day, I am constantly making choices between good and bad.  When I leave the house and get dressed, what do I wear? When I am hungry, what do I choose to eat?  When I speak to someone what do I say and how do I say it?

Each of these actions has ethical component in it. I just don’t think about it as it is so ingrained in me.

For example, I could put on a really, really, short skirt and skimpy top, a lot of makeup and flashy jewelry. First, at my age, this is probably not a good look. I could say it’s hot as hell here in Florida and the less I wear, the less I sweat, so I want to be comfortable. So, F You! That’s true. But, I don’t think I want to look like a slut,[I'm not judging if you dress this way, well ok I am. Are you beginning to get an idea that this being complicated?] because in my mind, that’s what I would see.  That’s my judgement. Your ideas may see that as good.

 

That brings up the question of, do we all see good and bad as the same thing?

The obvious answer is no. Which of course even further complicates things.  If we can’t agree on what’s good or what’s bad, we will be in conflict. Not just with ourselves, but with other people as well. I suppose I just gave another theory of why we will always be at war, but why go there? It's too depressing.

Every thought and encounter we have, gives us the opportunity to act or think in a manner that is good. Is my mind judging everyone else? Yeah. More often than I would like, so I'm working on it. So, one solution is that I may not say anything to anyone, but is judging other people an ethical thing to do? Whether you keep it to yourself or not?

Do most people even think about it? That’s what I mean about automatic.

We gossip with our friends. We know it’s not “good”, but we do it anyway. And our superego doesn’t seem to mind. Unless...... Your ego ideal says, "oh no. That makes you a bad person. My mother always told me not to do it", so you begin to feel guilty. You can substitute any word for gossip for anything you were told was bad, or you shouldn't do, and boom!! You're there.

 

We have a fight with our spouse and say something really hurtful. We do it on impulse.[oh no. how did my ego let that through. were you sleeping again?] Damn that id. It got through the barrier. What do we do then? Do we apologize? Do we let it stand because we’re angry? This would depend on what your superego thinks is the right thing.

Do I curse out the driver who cut me off? Do I dare give him the finger? Or do I remember that I am not always aware of how well I drive, and forgive him because there have been days I too have done this.  Do I let someone else into the stream of traffic, or do I just keep going. Life is of course about balance. I would still be stuck somewhere in a car if I let everyone go All the time. It's about being more aware of the choices.

 

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS:

 

I’m just a regular old human being. Please don’t stress the old. I’m having trouble with aging. I would like to believe that I am a good person. It would be an assumption to say that others think this too.  There are probably many people who either don’t care, or never give it a thought. About whether they're good or not. I'm not saying that people are all thinking about me. It sounded like that when I read it so I felt the need to clarify. Do you often think about whether or not you're being a good person or not? Just saying.

I’m writing this because I believe that it is important to give it some thought. More than a thought really. Most of us go about our days on autopilot and it makes life easy. Does not thinking about things make us better? Personally, I don't think so, but that's me. I used to be a shrink who thinks too much.

I believe in the potential for good. That’s what I started thinking after reading The Butterfly Garden. I began to see that all our waking moments are filled with opportunities to choose. Of course, not having the same definition of good makes it hard, but still.

 

TODAY, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO CHOOSE? NOT ONCE. NOT TWICE. BUT ALL DAY WITH EVERY THOUGHT AND ACTION.
FIRST, JUST BE AWARE. THAT’S WHERE IT BEGINS. JUST NOTICE. ONCE YOU’RE AWARE, YOU CAN MAKE CHOICES. YOU DON’T HAVE TO FLY ON AUTOMATIC. YOU CAN BE IN CHARGE OF YOURSELF.

footnotes

1. The Stanford Prison Experiment.

  In 1971, in Palo Alto California, 10 male college students had agreed to participate in a study on “prison life” for $15 a day. Which back then, was a nice chunk of change. I am trying to be brief, so you can read about this study if it peaks your interest.

  Phillip Zimbardo wanted to examine whether normal people might behave in extreme ways when thrust into situations where they are either powerless or powerful.

  The study was ended in six days. Both guards and prisoners were playing their roles too well.

  The prisoners went back and forth between plotting riots and having emotional breakdowns.  Getting sick and crying.

  The” fiction” and “reality” lines had blurred so badly that they had to be released.

This brought to mind another experiment that was able to be repeated because no one wanted to believe the results.

2. Milgram’s Obedience Studies.

Milgram did this experiment at Yale University. The question was, would you electrocute a stranger, if someone in authority told you to. Long story short.

Yes. In this case though, the students only thought they were inflicting pain as they couldn’t see the subject. They could only hear the screams. That doesn’t sound so good either. In any event, the generator had numbers and words. Switches marked 15 to 450 volts, with corresponding labels from light shock to extreme and Danger, Severe Shock.   The shocking [LOL] finding was that 65% of the students went all the way to danger.  The experimenter in his white coat, kept saying, “keep going”.

  This experiment was done by many other researchers in the USA and in Europe because they couldn’t believe the results. Well, they all found out the same thing.