SHORT STORY

 

About two years or so after my divorce, I was sitting in the teacher's room at work. My friend Ellen and her fiancée had just split up.

They had planned to go to Europe over the summer and she was bummed that she wouldn't be going.

I asked if she'd like to go somewhere with me. We talked about it and decided on Greece.

I was about 36 years old and hadn't been to Europe and being newly single, was hoping of course, that I'd meet someone.

 

The tour we took spent a few days in Athens, then took us on a four day cruise of the islands, and then back for a few more days in Athens.  I still remember that trip so fondly because I loved Greece. The ruins, the countryside, the history.

 

It was beautiful there. And the cruise, my first, was  the best.

 

So, did we meet any single men?

 

Believe it or not we did. Get this. I lived in Bayside, Queens, NY and my friend was in Great Neck, a couple of towns over. The two men were from NY and one of them lived in Bayside. There were people from all over the states, but the single ones were from where we lived. That was SOME coincidence.

Of course, nothing is perfect. The man from Bayside was a Priest, and his nice looking friend was gay. I'm sure he didn't tell us, but we kind of figured it out.

 

At least I had someone to dance with at night on the ship.  The Priest was a pretty good dancer. 

ALL THE LITTLE BIRDIES GO TWEET TWEET TWEET ROCKIN' ROBIN TWEET TWEET

I think I swore I'd never Tweet.

 

Wiki Definition.

 

Twitter (/ˈtwɪtər/) is an online social networking service that enables users to send and read short 140-character messages called "tweets".

 

Twitter was created in March 2006 by Jack Dorsey, Evan Williams, Biz Stone, and Noah Glass and launched in July 2006.

 

ME

 

It appears, according to these dates that I have managed to be in the dark about Twitter and tweeting for nearly 10 years.

 

As you know, better than I, the  little white bird is ubiquitous. I thought it was a symbol for peace.

 

Since I've recently begun blogging and now have a You Tube channel, I decided to bite the proverbial bullet and sign on to Twitter as well. 

 

WHY I WOULD DO SUCH A THING

 

Really, I only want followers for my blog.  (HINT HINT)  A friend told me about hashtags and how they help people find your posts on Instagram and Twitter and Blogs. 

 

I was ecstatic. Obviously it doesn't take much  to make me happy.  Now, all I have to do is find the right hashtag combinations and the world will be reading at my feet.

 

BUT FIRST, finding where to hashtag on the blog was my biggest challenge. I'm still not sure it's in the right place, but there didn't appear to be anywhere else.

AND

 

Does anyone know "the" hashtag key?  THE word, that will direct traffic to ME?

 

THE CURRENT ISSUES THAT WE unknowns  HAVE TO BATTLE:

 

All the good names are already taken. That isn't fair.   Brad Pitt, Superman, Tom Hanks etc. Just because you're famous doesn't mean you should have dibs on your name and fame.

 

Ashton Kutcher is to blame. Why couldn't he just make up a name and use that. I'm sure he has a private account for friends and family where he does that, but no, he had to use his real name and make it a contest for who could have the most followers.

I just realized that Twitter is like a popularity contest for people who are already popular and the winner gets more money when someone wants to hire them.

 

It's just like all those already rich and famous people to take away any opportunity from the average, normal individual. And also the not so ordinary  talented amazing, undiscovered individuals.

 

When Gertrude Stein said a "rose by any other name would smell as sweet"  she had no clue  what the future would bring.

 

Fro example. NAME RECOGNITION.  IT IS ALL POWERFUL.  If you have a nationally or world recognizable name, you can endorse products, win elections,  and even become a designer or inventor of things of which you have no knowledge.

 

I have nothing against Jessica Simpson. I applaud her comeback and ingenuity. However, she is now designing jewelry, clothing, shoes, handbags and probably things I don't know about.  Why do I care?  Because some extremely talented no name struggling designer  can't get work or noticed because industrialists don't want to take chances. They want a sure thing. Take someone with name recognition, have a designer you have work with them, and voila. Great product.

 

It seems that a site or two have sprung up to attempt to combat this. I assume Etsy started in order to help people who had beautiful art to sell, or share and couldn't find a venue because they DIDN'T HAVE NAME RECOGNITION.

 

As I see this site too, it too seems to have become so commercialized that you have to be especially savvy to be able to get ahead.   For an artist or artisan or author, that's a big deal.

 

WHAT IT IS THAT I WANT

 

I am not looking for fame, fortune or notoriety.  Maybe I'm over reaching in thinking that I have something to say that people can both learn from and enjoy.  I was able to do that when I was teaching at the University level. That made me feel good. So, do I want to feel good?

I do. About myself. I'm retired, although I do still work with people doing what I'll call mentoring. That's good, but not fulfilling in the way I want.

 

I WANT TO REACH PEOPLE AND TOUCH THEM

 

Emotionally, you gutter minded individuals. Okay. My mind is also in the gutter at times and I'm glad I learned to let it go there.

 

It may be hubris, but I really believe that by sharing my theories, stories and feelings, that I can help others feel less alienated and less alone.  And maybe, put a smile on those faces and make them think for the ten minutes it takes to read this.

Even if it means just getting out of their own heads for some time during the day, then, that's a good thing.   I heard somewhere that wandering around alone in your head wasn't safe. I accidentally typed sage. Totally as true.

 

 

In asking that universal question of "Why am I here?' the above reasons answer that question for me.   SO,

 

HOW DO I DO THAT?

 

perhaps by writing a blog? then,

 

HOW DO I GET PEOPLE TO FOLLOW MY BLOG?

OR EVEN NOTICE IT''S THERE?

 

TWEET #TWEET #TWEET. HASHTAG HASHTAG

#   #   #  VIDEOS ON YOU TUBE. NAME RECOGNITION.

 

 

I don't use my real name, which is probably wise.

 

theory?:

 

Life is hard. You want your presence to mean something. The things you want to accomplish are hard. You can't do it alone. You have to ask for help.

 

If you want something badly enough you have to work for it.

And if you are really narcissistic you will go to any lengths to be admired and known.

 

NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

 

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND my experiences in Singles Bars

As I have noted before, I have been married twice. When most people are meeting their mates in college, I was in a serious relationship which broke up during my junior year. That left me screwed.

Or it's just another rationalization for not being a Venus-Fly-Trap for men.

I hated to go to Single's Bars, Dances, or any function that was designed to meet other single people. 

I remember thinking it was just like a meat market and I didn't like the feeling of being inspected. 
What I didn't say or think, was the denial of my feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.  Some of which had been programmed by my first love. The rest, well you know, you had them too. Parents.

Looking back I can say that I didn't see myself as Grade A meat. More like something with maggots and if you got too close you'd see them. (I read to many novels that have dead bodies in them. Maggots?)

Therefore, I didn't go often and it wasn't fun. If I had been having fun, I probably would have met some normal people. As it was, I met people who were attracted to Maggots.

THE BAR AND DANCE SCENE IN THE 1980'S

I remember one time. It was at a very nice place on Long Island. While standing by the bar a guy started talking to me and my girlfriend. He introduced himself as Sharone. He pronounced it the way an Israeli woman pronounces the name Sharon, so I asked him about it. I was hoping for some kind of Israel connection. That maybe we'd have something in common to talk about. Dreamer.

He told me that he changed it, when he joined his group. I can't remember the name of the group, but we aren't talking about a rock band. That would have been cool or somewhere in the norm.  It was more like the "we're waiting for the comet to pick us up and take us away from earth" type group.  Okaaaay. My friend walked away and I stood listening to him while my eyes glazed over and I kept asking myself, "why me?".

It may have been the same night or another as they all blend into one memory. *(AD)  I need to look at this and see if I can't see these as funny. At this moment it's like I'm reliving them and not feeling good. That is RIDICULOUS. I have to learn to look back and laugh. These experiences are funny. end of digression.

There must  have been a full moon whenever I chanced to go out. That might have explained the abundance of moon men. AKA Lunatics.

It was a lovely spring evening and there was a garden outside. I left the bar and found a seat on a bench, by myself. Probably hoping and expecting to be by myself. But no. A man came over and sat down next to me.

The first thing he said was, "are my shoes alright for this place?" I looked at him, dressed really casz,(How the hell do you spell that short version that means casual?)  and I said, "sure", wondering what new Hell was about to begin.  He told me he was nervous because he hadn't been out for some time. [ I was wondering, out of the institution?]. He then  proceeded in his monologue.  His girlfriend had just dumped him. She was  so great and she was a biker and his mom didn't like her and he did and he was  really hurt, although they hadn't been together long, like a couple of weeks, but he knew that he had to go back out and find someone.............. and my mind started glazing over I wondered if I looked like a fashion consultant or had the word shrink stamped on my forehead.  I nodded and smiled and eventually got up and walked away.

AND FOR DESSERT

The last one I'll mention in this post, is John Travolta. I can still see him in my mind's eye.

We were sitting/standing, near the front of the dance bar. In struts a young man.
He is dressed in a black tuxedo with the bow tie pulled open. He appears to have come from an affair and is ready to get his groove on.

He is about 5' 1'. Pale skinned with frizzy blonde hair. Thankfully, it wasn't in an Afro.  Like me, he had an invisible stamp on his head. His read Nebbish. That would translate into Nerd who is not necessarily smart. Or maybe loser might be a fair translation. I know. Very judgey for someone with Maggots.

I hope for his sake that he was drunk. His entrance was notable. He was barely there a minute before he asks someone to dance. Raise your hand if you know who it is. You got it.  Maybe I was the shortest woman at the door. Who knows?

He lead me to the dance floor and proceeded to dance. I'm sure that I  mentioned that I love dancing. It is also something I am very good at. At least that part of going out was fun. Normally.

He danced with abandon. He looked like he was having muscle spasms and seizures. That would have been enough. But the very best part was when he did the move from Saturday Night Fever. Remember that classic film moment? John Travolta, on the mirrored dance floor. He stops for a moment and then he does it. So perfectly. So smoothly. If you don't know this classic and showy dance move, look it up on You Tube. It was an iconic moment in movie history.

 When my partner did it, other dancers on the floor could not help staring as he did that famous move.  And it was not because it was so Travolta. It was more like he looked like a tiny statue of Liberty, wearing a tux, pointing his noble arm to the sky, bringing it down and thrusting it back up. Not smoothly. Not rhythmically, just embarrassingly. It was at this point I finally asked  "Dear Lord, May I please become invisible right this moment?" "Dear Lord, WHY ME??????????????????"   Had I been listening I would have heard a question.

"In all these tales of woe, what is the common denominator?" The answer was
ME!!

I DID IT. I DID IT. NO ONE HAD THOUGHT I'D DO IT BUT INDEED I DID. thank you Lerner & Lowe

Ta Da!  I uploaded a video to my YouTube channel. At least I

suppose it's called a channel and if it isn't, Why not?

Anyway, I think it's called Dr. Glee.  Talk about short term memory loss. I didn't write it down so it's lost in the ethers.

I must say, that this was done for a Halloween dance 4 years ago. Not long after my first arthroscopy.  Actually, it's the only video I have that I can put up without permission from friends. I'll try that if anyone is interested.

Still. I am extremely embarrassed by and at my performance.  I am shocked that I would have the nerve to put it out there.

Shock me even more by watching in. And don't judge. (too harshly).
Until you've been in my ballet slippers, and Brooklyn, you don't know how it feels.

Thanks in advance.
Yours, as always,
Dr. G.

IF I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING, HOW DO I GET THERE?

I saved this a while back, because, well, it really says a lot.
I know so many people who don't think they know who they are. They don't know where they're going and worry about it a lot.

You all know that worry is like sitting in a rocking chair.  You keep moving, but you never go anywhere.

Years ago I heard Wayne Dyer say, " I wish I believed what I believe".  I then read it in a book that I think he may have borrowed it from.  It stuck with me, because I can really relate.

There are things I really believe. The one that makes no sense is that the Universe has and will always make sure I'm financially okay.
Not that I don't have leg work to do, but I know I'll be okay.

I have no idea where this came from. In my house, growing up, they believed in death and taxes.

I suppose, I can be grateful for that.  I used to envy people who were brought up with a faith or a belief system. I never knew that I could come to my own decisions and learn to believe in what made sense to me, not anyone else.

I believe in the law of attraction. Like attracts like. I believe in reincarnation, although that's one of those that fall into the I wish I believed parts. Those are the ones that challenge my faith and demand more of me.

I don't believe in mistakes. I believe in lessons. People say you should be doing God's will. I believe that whatever you do, is or becomes God's will.

Just like it says. If you don't know where you're going any road will take you there.

And as Popeye said so succinctly, " I yam what I yam". As am I.

I would very much like your company on this unknown road. So far, it's been an interesting trip. All I know is that I will keep on going.

The Sand Hill Crane's leaving my house after tea and crumpets.