SOME HISTORY
We used the second bedroom as a guest room. We had my mother-in-law and her husband stay twice, and my friend once in three years. My husband never wanted a guest room to begin with so he pointed out the waste of space. Also, his computer, TV and recliner were already in there, se we got rid of the sofa bed and he declared the area his man cave. He also, declared we would have no more pull outs or sleep overs.
I could certainly see his point.
FLORIDA TERMINOLOGY
In Florida, many bedrooms are called suites, since they attract guests like honey. So, they are made with a second bathroom attached for privacy. This is also the guest bath unless you have a really big house, which we don't. In any event, he took that over too. Now, our guest bathroom is the master bath. It's a little out of the way and people are not usually happy about it, but that's life here, in this house.
ALMOST READY TO MAKE MY POINT
Okay. A person should have their own space if there is space to spare. Until recently we used the den as a den (TV watching) and also my office.
We never used the "great room" which really isn't so great as it is a living room and dining area without walls. It does give a very open effect but confuses those of us with boundary issues.
I finally got tired of sharing space, so I decided to move the TV into the living room and actually use this living space that looked great and hardly ever saw any action. At the same time I moved my art and crafts table into the den. Crafty of me, no? Then I bought an actual crafts table instead of using the fold out table people usually use for Thanksgiving.
Suffice is to say, this was now, mostly, my room. An idea floating in my brain. Solidified in
July. I decided that rather than the left over things in the den, (my room?) I would redo it and really make it mine. And that's what I've been doing for the past two and a half months. ( I'm still waiting on the last piece of furniture, ) but after a long, long time of having the house in disarray, It's almost there.
THE QUESTION I STARTED OUT WITH
The problem has been, what to call this room that I now claim as mine. Hence the title of the blog. I'd apologize for the long introduction, but what good would it do? I'll just do it again because this is me.
CHOICES
My woman cave. That sounds ridiculous and really, I don't want a cave. A cave is an underground hollow or dwellings prehistoric men lived in. We certainly know why men like that term for their misanthropic holes, I mean spaces.
My lady cave. Well, that's just obscene.
This morning I asked my husband why there isn't a corollary for man cave and he said it's because the whole rest of the house belongs to the woman! I added the exclamation. He was thinking it.
But is he is right? Although we may decorate, clean, and use the other rooms, it doesn't mean they are ours. I mean other people use them too. Like the kitchen. Try to say this is my room, go get your food somewhere else. Don't walk on that rug, I just vacuumed it. Well, we try, but they don't usually listen.
I do go into his cave when he's there so I can talk to him. It's okay. But just know that
if I ever moved his recliner he would know, because it wouldn't line up exactly with the TV. Enough said.
A friend suggested that I call this my serenity room. I love that idea. Except, when people ask what I'm doing, if I say I'm fixing up my serenity room they will not know what I'm talking about. And as hard as it might be to believe, I do not want to have to explain.
The thesaurus for cave has the synonyms of: grotto, cavern, or give, bend, collapse, (the other type of cave as in cave in) . A room can be an apartment or chamber, billet, bunk, domicile,
hut, or quarter. Yes, I can see saying I'm redoing my ladies chamber. Call the White Coats, she's finally gone off the rails.
I am left with few choices, unless some of you have some ideas. I would really appreciate any opinions. And even thought it's where I do my painting and crafts, I do not want to call it a craft room. That is so Martha Stewart and I am so NOT. Or my studio because it's pretentious. And not quite accurate.
The theory is that since men view the house as the woman's, she has never been able to officially claim an area as hers. It's all on the DL. A quiet spot in a basement. Locking oneself in the bathroom for a moment of peace and quiet. Going shopping. Our place was always in the kitchen or the bedroom. We didn't require anywhere else. So, women, I am calling upon us to take what is rightfully ours. A room in the house that has nothing to do with needlepoint, sewing, or hobbies. We demand our own cave space.
At the moment, the best name I can think of is my girl cave. Actually, as a teen that was the last time I had a room of my own. How about you? I lived in my parent's house and had a room with all MY things in it and a door to close. (as long as there wasn't a boy there.)
Women it's time to take our place. I mean space. Whatevs.
