#I HAVEN'T FORGETTEN ABOUT YOU

Good day Everyone.

I've been hard at work, writing a story book. I finished the book, and will do a video of it with me doing a lesson on the story.

I hope to put it on You Tube and here. It will be up by the week end since we're going to Tampa for Rory big boy's birthday. He's two.

Some days, that's about where I'm at as well.

So, don't hold your breath or turn blue. I'll be getting it up ha ha as soon as possible.

Thanks for waiting, and reading and following. You're the GREATEST.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9434BoGkNQ&feature=player_embedded

LIFE IS GETTING TOO SERIOUS. I NEED TO LAUGH. OLD AND NEW JOKES.

                                       The caption thingy isn't working. Anyway.
                             When I was young and 20......8 actually.


Sometimes we just need a good belly laugh. And I could use one now. Humor is an important part of my life. I did a post on it, so if you'd like to see the theory etc., go back and find it. That sounded harsh. That's the problem with reading a joke rather than hearing it. I don't know how to do moving pictures on the blog.

I don't know if one can laugh at written jokes, but I'll try to find a few humorous things to post and hope you get a chuckle or two.

Either later today or tomorrow, I'll be attempting to move the blog. They can't  do it because Google is a builder, not a host. They can only move from host to host or coast to coast. See all the little tidbits we're learning?
Anyway, I hope it's not impossible to post here, during the process, but if it is, as they say in show biz leave them laughing.

THE JOKES


I was reading up on healthy eating. It mentioned Kale (gag me). The "pro" tip was to massage the Kale for a few minutes to soften and reduce bitterness.
Do you think this would work on my husband?
(I  found this on a piece of paper with health tips. I think I added the question. We all know it would work on wives. The problem is, well we all know what happens when men either give or get massages.)


These I got from a flip over book. Like a daily reader. It was, believe it or not, written by two men. So don't blame me for the male bashing.
Of course I did choose which ones to post, but the pro men quotes were all mostly X-rated. I'll go back and find some that are  clean and could relate to  either sex.


If a man speaks in the middle of a forest, and there is no woman to hear him, Is he still wrong?

Don't talk to my breasts. They're deaf.

I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is improving.

I like my men super rich and almost dead.

I'm not that old. Your music really does suck!

My sexual preference is often.

It's no mistake that man's best friend can't talk.

Please. Don't interrupt me while I'M IGNORING YOU.

Divorce is expensive.     Freedom is priceless.

 

I tried to drown my troubles, but my husband learned how to swim.

Don't hate yourself in the morning. Sleep till noon.

Friday is casual sex day.

Okay. Enough of those.


       I hope you don't think this is stupid. (okay it is. But it struck me as funny because she's sitting on the settee in this position and if you know little kids, you'll get it.) 

 

"Um, Shari."

"Yes Lambchop."

 

"I have to pee."

 

"Damn. Okay guys. Stop filming. She is such a Diva."

 

Have a Fun Day filled With Laughs.

yes. I've lost it.

thanks for reading.

 

HOW DID CAVEMEN DEAL WITH INSOMNIA? DID THEY HIT EACH OTHER OVER THE HEAD WITH CLUBS?

 

My latest ridiculous theory:  Insomnia is a modern illness that is responsible for more than half of human beings problems.

Theory:  Effective sleep is necessary for effective functioning, which includes sustained attention. When one does not get sufficient or efficient sleep, one is unable to sustain one’s attention and a good immune system.

Hypothesis: When a person is physically weakened and unable to sustain attention to his environment, bad shit happens.

[*ad1]

Research design:

Well, none. Basically proving this theory takes gathering information, explaining it and attempting to prove the hypothesis.

DATA COLLECTION

In order to avoid confusion, it’s proper form to write out, working definitions of the terms being used. This way, everyone is on the same page. Here are some.

• Insomnia: Difficulty in getting to sleep or staying asleep “also not feeling rested after sleeping."
• Consciousness: Mental awareness of sensations, perceptions, memories and feelings.
• Restorative sleep: Sleep from which you awaken feeling rested and alert.
• Sleep disturbances: there are sleep disorders and one text listed 12 of them. We will focus on insomnia.
• Sustained attention: the ability to maintain focused awareness on a target or idea.
• Waking consciousness: a state of clear, organized alertness. 

 It’s interesting to note, that in many psychology texts, there is no definition of sleep. There is a lot written about it, but much is still unknown. So for today, we’ll say it’s an altered state of consciousness which changes the quality or pattern of mental activity. 

 

TO SLEEP, PERCHANCE TO DREAM

 

Even back in Shakespeare’s time, sleep was something that was sought after. I can’t help but wonder when not being able to sleep became an issue.

This is my rambling part. It should be under another digression, but I think it's not that off the path. Did cavemen have trouble sleeping? And laborers, and farmers and if you look back in history, until there was a way of making light, we kept pace with sunrise and sunset. Our circadian rhythms are still set for day and night. However, technology has turned that upside down and I believe that is one of the reasons for having so many sleep disorders.

 

The text books will all tell us that sleep is an innate biological rhythm that can never be entirely ignored.  There are numerous theories about sleep but they are very hard to prove. Letting one’s subjects die during an experiment is generally frowned upon, unless you work in the pharmaceutical sector. 

[*ad2]

Fact: Everyone needs to sleep. Some can get by on more, some on less but you’ll eventually fall asleep whether you want to or not.

INSOMNIA:

According to one textbook, there are several types of Insomnia. They listed

worry, stress and excitement as a cause of temporary problems. If it goes on for longer than three weeks, they will call it chronic.

 The other type they referred to was drug dependency insomnia, caused by withdrawal from sleeping pills. That’s rich. You take something to help you sleep. Then you stop taking it and you can’t sleep because either your body is in withdrawal from being addicted to it, or you’re having what’s called rebound which may cause terrible nightmares so you go back to the drugs. Now you may realize why I made that nasty remark about the pharma industry.

 And that’s it. Those are the only two reasons they give for insomnia. They forgot to mention depression. I suppose they saved that for another chapter, but depressions favorite trick is called early waking. That’s when you can fall asleep without a problem, but then, you wake up at an ungodly hour, like 4 am and cannot get back to sleep.

 

All insomnia sucks, but it really is awful when you are a worker bee. For me, who has a lifetime membership in that club, being retired has given me a pass. As long as I don’t have to get up at a specific time, usually early, if I can’t sleep or don’t sleep well, it doesn’t ruin me like it used to. It's still no fun, but the consequences aren't as bad.

SYMPTOMS OF LACK OF RESTORATIVE SLEEP:

• Miss work
• Make bad decisions
• Take more risks
• Have trouble concentrating
• Be irritable
• Be depressed
• 

  And Symptoms of daytime fatigue include:

• Weariness, weakness, and/or depleted energy
• Lack of motivation
• Poor performance
• Memory problems
• Lack of productivity
• Tendency to make errors and mistakes
• Depression
• Low interest in being social
• Eat foods high in calories             

   You can see how these symptoms would be problematic in your life. Right?

COMPARE THESE SYMPTOMS TO HOW YOU ARE AFTER A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP:

1. awake,
2. alert
3. able to maintain your focus
4. energetic
5. able to remember things
6. better mood

Findings:

Sleep is necessary for survival, although scientists have only theorized the reason for this. However, lack of sleep has been researched and the findings are:

Insomnia increases your risk for health problems, including:

• Heart disease
• Stroke
• High blood pressure
• Infections
• Obesity
• Diabetes
• Depression
• Pain
• Substance abuse
• Early death

According to the CCD:

Sleep is increasingly recognized as important to public health, with sleep insufficiency linked to motor vehicle crashes, industrial disasters, and medical and other occupational errors.  [Like a doctor cutting off the wrong leg.]Unintentionally falling asleep, nodding off while driving, and having difficulty performing daily tasks because of sleepiness all may contribute to these hazardous outcomes.

Conclusion:
I believe that I have proven my hypothesis. Insomnia creates conditions that are conducive to wreaking havoc in your lives. It can cause illness and accidents. Drugs are not the solution. As seen, they are part of the problem.

The help for insomnia is called sleep hygiene. There are several steps that when done as directed, are very helpful. I will not list them, because I'm trying to keep this brief. However, there is help. As with everything else, you will have to work at lessoning the episodes of insomnia. [*ad3]

And, if all else fails, you can just start reading my blogs from the beginning, and I'm sure they will put you in a nice restful sleep, or possibly a coma. I cannot guarantee either because I don't want to be sued.

footnotes
*ad1 - man, this is dry and boring. Well, maybe this part. it get's better.

*ad2- I am having a very hard time sticking to the format. I can see that it will not work for all topics.

*ad3- This was harder to write. Well, actually easier since I just had to look shit up and copy it. That was no fun for me. And, the answers were actually in the material so I didn't have a chance to really say what I wanted to because it would have been redundant and I'm not sure this is shorter anyway. Oh well.

Thanks for reading.

MY THOUGHTS ABOUT REFORMATTING THIS BLOG

MY LATEST RIDICULOUS THEORY ON LENGTH OF ANYTHING.

When I look at my blog, after it's posted, I see that it's way too long to keep most people's attention. Even mine, and I wrote it!

THEORY:
People's span of attention is short. Especially when reading news articles or articles on line. Due to the length on my posts, fewer people read them.

HYPOTHESIS:
If I change the format of my blog, so it reflects a theory, hypothesis etc., then, limiting the number of words in each section there will be a surge in followers.

RESEARCH DESIGN:
The design [*a digression1]  for this type of query is difficult. The variables are, I think, the two different formats of the blog. I think that makes sense.
The population is a bit more tricky. I can only go by my current statistics and say that the number of people who read each post varies from 17 to 36. The sample would be the entire population of Google+ who has access to reading this. Therefore, infinite. That's good because the larger the sample, the more accurate the results. LOL for this one.

  

The only thing I can do, really is a descriptive study. That means, that I will write five blogs in the new format. I will use the same hashtags for all five. [*ad2.]  Basically, I'll write my usual blogs, sticking to this format. Heaven help me, they won't be dry and scientific like this one. Shorter. I'm only attempting for shorter.

I will describe what I did to get my results, if anything. Only I will also add in the data, findings and conclusion.

DATA:
What? I'm not a magician. I only started the experiment. I ain't got no stinkin data.    All I got is an idea. So sue me.

FINDINGS:
This format may be too limiting. I'll have to see. I have no findings because we have just begun. You are my research subjects. Please, pretty please, help me do this experiment. Don't let me down. [ *ad3.]

CONCLUSION:

I conclude that I'm a brave individual. I have no conclusion yet, but I have hope. If I had money, I could pay you, but I'm a scientist. Not a politician. They pay people and they manipulate the statistics. That's another post for another day.
So, you'll just have to wait and read the five new posts, and hope I can keep it short.

I'm going to still put in pictures. I like pictures and it's my research and I can do what I want. So there.

*FOOTNOTES

[My footnotes have always been referred to as digressions. Since I have more than one, they are titled, Another Digression. I have decided to use the symbol *ad with a number. This way, it give me leeway to go off on the tangents that make my posts longer. So, you have choices. You can read the post and then the foot notes, or ignore them if you're in a hurry.  You can read them as they occur or you can just read the footnotes because that's usually where most of the funny stuff ends up.]

*ad1- I looked up the different methodologies in my Psychology text.  It was not easy to decide which one fit.
According to the scientific method, which I am trying to follow, A. One first, observes, B. then predicts, C. tests, D. interprets and E. communicates the results.  Okay. But how do you do that if you don't have an actual experiment? 
It's the research design that stymies me.

*ad2 -If I changed them, they would be extraneous variables. Those are things that could throw off all your research. And, make a researcher look like an idiot.

*ad3- I feel like I'm back, doing my dissertation. That was torture. I used the teachers in the school I worked in and had to pray they returned their surveys. Approximately 97% did. That was huge. And, if any of you besides Shelley are reading this, you still have all my gratitude.

HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED?

Hi All.
  I see this is my 100th post. Wow. And the topic to start with is a bit mundane, but that's how it goes.

  About three days ago I bought a new printer. I had looked on line at Staples because the store is nearby and I get reward points.  And I like their policy on printers. Anyway........ there I go again.

  This morning I opened my email and there is a Staples message headed GET 50% off printers. Now, I'm not using  my glasses (I put on a pair now) so my sight's not great. First I thought it was for cartridges which would have been awesome. But no. The printer.

  I started to open it and said to myself. Self, don't do it.

Then I started thinking about how many coupons and offers I frequently get after purchased whatever it was.

Take CVS.  I actually like their rewards program. They send me real money in an email that I can click and it sends it to my rewards card. That's really cool. You usually have to spend something like 30 bucks, but I've gotten, $3, $5 and more, so it's okay. I use drugs. Not like in the old days, which by the way I couldn't get in a drug store, but eye drops, Mucinex, Benadryl, Tylenol, and some supplements. ( I buy the store brands because they are less expensive) {that sounds so much classier than "cheaper"}.


I use my extra bucks and while I'm there I can a print out of coupons based on things I may have used in the past. The past, often three days ago. I just bought three out of the five items that they are now giving me coupons for. It would have been preferable to get them BEFORE I already bought them.
Unless, maybe they think I'm a hoarder and will just buy up more so I have a years supply.

Another Digression. I have at times, purchased things on sale and gotten three or four of them. Six years later, when I need it again, I check the expiration date and it's way gone. Like four years worth. I'm learning.

It's not just CVS.  I do a lot of online shopping and looking. I suppose it's my fault for not clearing out the cookies. Or at least that's what I think it could be. That's how they keep track of where you were and what you looked at. Right?

However, I have had problems when I disabled the cookies thingy. So, I have to remember to clear my phone cache. I can't transfer that to my regular computer. First, I'm sure that they are done differently. Secondly, it's not something I ever think of except for right this moment. And as they say, this too shall pass.


All's I'm sayin is that it's like why do they keep trying to sell me condoms after I'm pregnant? I'm not gonna be needing one for at least 10 - 11 months. Then the date will be expired and I'll get pregnant again.




THEORY:
MARKETERS SUCK.  They want you to buy their product, but not at a reduced price. If they did, they'd advertise and send you the goods before you already had them.

So suck it y'all.  I've got you figured out.