TODAY WE'RE GOING TO THE DENTIST. WHY DOES THAT ALWAYS FILL US WITH DREAD?

maybe it wouldn't' be so bad if they looked like him

My husband and I are very lucky because we have dental coverage from my union. Up north I had used the same dental office for over 20 years. It was 10 minutes from my house, but parking sucked. Still. They were a good group and after having a few of the associates who often left, I complained and got the head of the practice. He made this guy in the picture look ugly. But that's not why I'm blogging this. You know me, my mind wanders. So, I'll go with it. He was one of those lucky people. Really handsome and smart and good with money. He kept the practice, but stopped working except a day or so a week. He told me he had always been interested in finance and made quite a bit in the market. He bought an apartment in Manhattan, and of course got divorced from the first wife. I don't think he remarried. I told you he was smart.  I don't know how I know this much and no more deets, but I've digressed enough.

QUESTION - WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE FEAR GOING TO THE DENTIST?

I should be one of them. I am not a fan of having my mouth hang open for forty minutes and not being able to talk. I have been going to the dentist since I was 5 years old. Dr. Fried was my dentist until he retired when I was in my early 20's.  Of course you young people might not remember when the dentist had one room and his wife was the nurse/receptionist. They did have x-rays back then, but it was several years before he could develop them himself. He used to have to send them out and you had to wait and come back. There really has been progress since then. However, if I must say, not enough to suit me or everyone else it would seem.

Also, I have always had a strong gag reflex. Dr. Fried's nickname for me was "Kid Vomit". enough said.  I can still feel the pit in my stomach that I always felt in the waiting room.

What was your experience like? Do you remember?  Back then, in order to go to school in NYC, your parents were required to bring in a signed dental and medical form. Somehow, no one back then thought it was an intrusion in their rights. How dare the authorities demand that children be taken care of?

I've known people who never went to the dentist. One reason was the cost. I totally get that. I didn't always have insurance.
After my dentist retired, I was lost.  I was working in an office building on Madison Avenue in Manhattan. I figured, okay, there was a dentist in the building, so I'd go to him. Easy Peasy.

I saw the dental assistants who took x-rays. I came back for my appointment with the dentist. He told me that I needed some work. This was in the mid 1970's, so don't quote me on the exact story. It was like this, as best I can remember. I needed two crowns, a root canal and several fillings. I'm not sure, but I believe he wanted about 2 or 3 thousand dollars. I probably gagged and his hand wasn't even in my mouth.  I asked him if I could pay it out. He politely said he wasn't a bank or a credit company. I said good bye.

I called the replacement dentist in Brooklyn who had purchased Dr. Fried's practice. He took a look and concurred although I think there was one less crown or root canal. He wanted $800.  That was still an astronomical amount. However, he let me pay him 50 bucks a month. It was certainly worth the schlep form the other side of Brooklyn. The point is, that I knew I had to do it. Even if it meant debt because I had one set of teeth and I was not going to lose them.

The other thing I still do not understand is..............
Who's brain child it was to consider dental care differently than medical care? Seriously, tooth aches are probably as painful as labor pains. Did someone think it was okay to yank out your own tooth, but not your baby?

I know. Sometimes my humor runs to the sick side.

Honestly. Why is there a difference? It's all part of the same system. We have accepted it for years, but I wonder if anyone else has pondered this disparity. Also, how do they continue to get away with it?

Anyway, it seems that people do not like dentists poking around in their mouths.

WHY DO WE LET OTHER DOCTORS PROBE US EVERYWHERE, BUT GET ALL GOOFY IF IT'S OUR MOUTHS?

I suppose, I should look this up. There is probably lots of research on dental phobias. But, since I only have and hour and a half before leaving, I'll leave that to you. That's your homework assignment should you choose to take it. If not, this post will self destruct in five seconds.

I'm thinking. And thinking some more. Okay. How about this.
 For me, it's a bit harder to distance myself and my feelings when someone is in my head. Literally. I can pretend to be somewhere else when they are probing other regions. I tend to look at the ceiling. That's difficult to do with a face about 8 inches from yours. I have found that closing the eyes can be worse.

That's right. I remember a study about that. Closing your eyes makes you feel even less in control and the pain feels worse. So it's better, in the dentist's to the leave them open. Your eyes as well as your mouths. Do I have to spell it all out? 

PAIN. FEAR OF PAIN. OH MY GOD HE HIT A NERVE PAIN.

Root canals. Everyone's favorite procedure. Except for me it would be the impressions they take with the gunk sliding down the back of my throat. ooooo.  oo. gagging and more gagging.

Like Pavlovian dogs, we learn to avoid pain. And if we have had pain and had to go to the dentist for it, or while at the dentist, pain was caused, we learn very quickly to associate them as one, and voila. Fear of Dentists. We already fear pain. That's a given.


GOOD TEETH CLEANINGS CAN HURT.

I had a beautiful, wonderful hygienist in Queens. Again, I knew her very well. And she did a good job. I may not have sparkly teeth because of smoking and drinking coffee for too many of my younger years, but they were spanking clean when I left. She dug in to my gums and ouch. There was no plaque or anything that did not belong in my mouth.

The new girls I have now in West Palm don't think it's necessary to go quite that far, so I won't complain. It is less painful and hopefully it's enough to do the job.  Still, that scraping. It sends Shivers down my spine. And This dentist is the only dentist anywhere near us who takes my insurance. We have no option unless we want to pay. We do have out of pocket, but it would be way more. So, we have drive an hour to get there and are happy it's not farther away.

Do you remember the movie/play, "little shop of horrors"?  The dentist was a sadist.  It was very funny and one wonders if there are some people in the business who might be. Never mind. That's not relevant.

 MY HYPOTHESIS STATES THAT FEAR OF THE DENTIST IS LEARNED BY CONDITIONING:

As I mentioned earlier, we associate dentists with pain. We don't feel the same about most doctors because we see them at times when we are not in pain. And they usually don't cause any. Especially these days when they don't even touch us but still call it a physical.

Dentists have to touch you. They have to have you open your mouth and usually keep it there in a very uncomfortable position.  So you learn to not want to put yourself in this situation.

AVOIDANCE - THE MOST COMMON RESPONSE:
So, how do most people deal with something they fear? If they can, they avoid it. Just like the dog who cowers in the corner when its brutal master comes home. Or you know your mother is going to notice you ate the cookies before dinner, so you stay out as late as you possibly can.

The only problem with avoidance,[in all situations, really] is that your teeth do not take care of themselves. Yes, you can floss and brush and that is great for maintenance. However, as you age, shit happens. And for some people that means your teeth start to rot. yick.  Nothing so sexy as a mouth full of rotting teeth.






CONCLUSION:


You have nothing to fear but fear itself. Well, yeah, it may hurt, and it may cost a lot of money, but the avoidance? It doesn't work. Not with the dentist, nor any problem you should be facing. Genetics does play a role. If you were blessed with good teeth, you still need to keep them up. If you weren't, you really, really need to deal with them.
I am fortunate. I think I have good genetics. Only because my father's father had most of his teeth when he died at 89, and my dad did too. But he did go to the dentist. Come to think of it, my father's sister, had only two when she died at 87.  She hated doctors and dentists. She thought they killed you. I don't know if she was right, but man, did she look bad. Maybe it's a combination like everything else.

Anyway, I've been going to dentists pretty much every three to six months my whole life. I still hate it. I've got crowns and a couple of bridges, but I can smile for the camera. I haven't tried bleaching. I may be vain, but I'm not a masochist. I only get what is needed when it comes to my mouth.

And so, do you really want to be such a pussy that you let your teeth rot?  I hope not. Smiles are the sexiest part of us, and it would be a shame to ruin that because you're afraid.

DID JOHNNY DEPP BEAT UP AMBER?

THIS WILL BE MY SHORTEST POST.
DO I BELIEVE THAT DEPP DID IT? YES.
I KNOW MY MEMORY ISN'T TERRIFIC, BUT I REMEMBER BACK QUITE A FEW YEARS WHEN DEPP WAS DATING THE MODEL KATE MOSS.

I CAN STILL SEE THE PICTURE IN MY MIND. HE HAD BEATEN HER AND OF COURSE, DRUGS WERE INVOLVED.

I IMAGINE HE BEAT HIS FRENCH "WIFE" TOO.
HOWEVER, SINCE THEY DIDN'T LIVE IN THE SPOT LIGHT, AND THEY VIEW THINGS DIFFERENTLY IN EUROPE, IF HE DID, NO ONE MADE A FUSS.

I THINK JOHNNY DEPP IS ONE OF OUR MOST FANTASTIC ACTORS.  HE IS HANDSOME AND BRIGHT. HE ALSO HAS A HUGE PROBLEM.

ACTUALLY. WOMEN HAVE A HUGE PROBLEM. NOT THAT WOMEN DO NOT BEAT UP MEN TOO, BUT THE RATIO IS NOT NEARLY EQUAL.

MEN WHO BEAT THEIR WIVES GET LITTLE HELP AND LITTLE JAIL TIME. REGULAR FOLK, USUALLY ESCALATE BEHAVIOR AND OFTEN KILL THE WOMAN.

MEN DO NOT SEE THIS AS A TERRIBLE CRIME. MOST POLICE OFFICERS ARE MEN. MOST MILITARY PERSONNEL ARE MEN.

NOTE FOR WOMEN:  NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW BADLY SOMEONE MAKES YOU FEEL, YOU DO NOT EVER, EVER HAVE TO TAKE SOMEONE'S ABUSE.  NEVER!  IF YOU ALLOW IT ONCE, IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN.

STOP VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN.

A MAN AND A PIG WALK INTO A BAR.......... WHAT MAKES US LAUGH? AND WHY?

          

I don't even know what language that is.

Humor. It's often in the top two of the list, of what women want in a man. I'm not familiar with men's lists, so I don't know where they would put it.    well maybe   *a small digression:  it probably has to do with T&A, looks, not having a "good personality"  and being a virgin. At least for him.

WHAT STARTED THIS QUEST?
Short and simple. I bought the music from the "Book of Mormon". My husband and I listened to it on the way to Tampa and we were aghast at the lyrics, innuendos and concepts. We were also laughing hysterically.  They were irreverent, insulting, provocative and raunchy. I later found out that Seth McFarland was involved. Enough said.

SOME OF WHAT PSYCHOLOGY SAYS.
*I will try to throw in some puns, humor etc. during the "drier" segments. I don't know if you'll laugh. I hope it's like a treasure hunt that forces you to read between the lines.
that is a trick to see if you will read stuff. Just call me trickster. But please, don't call me Tricky Dick. I HATED that man.


BACK TO LEARNING:

Every infant smiles. At three months they giggle and laugh at their parents. Probably  because they haven't figured out what these people are going to do to them later on in life, but maybe they also know something I don't. [which if you've noticed, is quite a lot]. They are probably thinking we are morons when we make faces at them and that's why they are laughing. Apparently the old "they are smiling because they have gas theory" has been ruled out. I would concur. Gas pains, notice they call them pains, do not make me laugh, so why would it do that to an infant?  What dumbcaph came up with that?

"Humor is a very complicated psychological response; it's multifaceted," Beins says. [I don't know who he/she, is/was, but the quote is from this Beins person.] 

 "Children have to learn about humor. As kids start getting a bit older, their humor becomes more sophisticated."
Yes. I have noticed that as children mature, farting jokes are no longer funny. Unfortunately, not everyone's sense of humor grows up.

Then Beins goes on to say,
"It becomes about separating incongruous events into humorous and non-humorous situations depends on many factors, including mood and what children learn from others." huh?

I remember incongruity from geometry. Are they referring to triangles and circles"? Alright. I am joking.

When something is incongruous it usually means that it doesn't fit in with what else is going on or what you expect to see.


What comes to mind is the movie Fantasia. There is one part where there are elephants dancing on their toes, wearing pink tutus. I just looked this up to get the picture, and apparently they were hypos. Or maybe the elephants weren't wearing tutus.  The music was lovely but I don't recall it at the moment. Apparently, recall is not my strong point at this moment in time.   I do think I recall that it was even more humorous when I saw it in College after having smoked something illegal. .Why did everything seem funny then?   But this is a serious Blog so I shall continue in educating whomever is reading this.


IF WE LEARN TO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, HOW COME SO MANY PEOPLE DON'T ONE?


OOPS. FIRST WE SHOULD DEFINE HUMOR.

According to one source,

Humor is a form of communication that is judged to be amusing and makes others laugh.

DO YOU AGREE? I CAN LIVE WITH THAT, BUT since THERE ARE SEVERAL TYPES OF HUMOR, I'LL CUT AND PASTE WHAT OTHER SOURCES SAY. THEY ARE MOSTLY  FROM WIKI, WITH AN OCCASIONAL COMMENT FROM ME. WHICH IS REDUNDANT SINCE WHO ELSE WOULD BE COMMENTING?


There has not been a lot of research on humor. Most likely because it would not be easy to research.  I don't believe that scientists know where in the brain, humor resides. That is, if it is in any one area. Then, how do you define and measure it? The joke was funny on a scale of 
1) not at all funny to 10) peed my pants?

However, the little that's been done, breaks humor down into three main types:

According to WIKI these are them. (great grammar, yeah?)

Relief theory:   Won't you be relieved when this technical shit is done?  Remember the commercial?  How do you spell R-E-L-I-E-F?  R-o-la-i-d-s. Maybe they should have given the Rolaids to the infants with gas.  Anyway, I thought that was funny.

Relief theory maintains that laughter is a homeostatic mechanism by which psychological tension is reduced. Humor may thus for example serve to facilitate relief of the tension caused by one's fears.  Laughter and mirth, according to relief theory, result from this release of nervous energy.   Humor, according to relief theory, is used mainly to overcome sociocultural inhibitions and reveal suppressed desires. It is believed that this is the reason we laugh whilst being tickled, due to a buildup of tension as the tickler "strikes". [I wonder who wrote this. Whilst? suppressed desires? It must be some Freudian]*
*me  Also, isn't responding to being tickled a physiological response?  I like the part about repressed and inhibited desires. That might explain all the sex jokes.

Superiority theory:

The superiority theory of humor traces back to Plato and Aristotle, and Thomas Hobbes' Leviathan. The general idea is that a person laughs about misfortunes of others (so called schadenfreude), because these misfortunes assert the person's superiority on the background of shortcomings of others. Socrates was reported by Plato as saying that the ridiculous was characterized by a display of self-ignorance.  For Aristotle, we laugh at inferior or ugly individuals, because we feel a joy at feeling superior to them.  * me again. or maybe we're just glad it didn't happen to us.

except for this example.

Incongruity theory:

Further information: ridiculousness  OH OH OH That's me. Dr. Ridiculous and I don't understand this type of humor. That would probably be incongruous. Yeah?

 

The incongruity theory states that humor is perceived at the moment of realization of incongruity between a concept involved in a certain situation and the real objects thought to be in some relation to the concept.
Since the main point of the theory is not the incongruity per se, but its realization and resolution (i.e., putting the objects in question into the real relation), it is often called the incongruity-resolution theory.
I'm not joking. I'm not quite sure what they mean. I think it's when you realize that something is out of place, or not in keeping with the reality of what's happening. Oh yeah. Maybe it's like the example with the rhinoceros's in tutus. Or maybe they were rhinelephance.  You're getting the drift now. Right? okay. Let's move on. Please.

WHAT'S FUNNY AND WHAT ISN'T?

This is where we can run into trouble. It appears that it's not just that there are three different types of humor. It seems that each individual has their own spin on what's funny or what's not.


what is the most universal type of humor?

The way I see it, that would be physical comedy. We'd call it slapstick. You know. When the guy slips and falls on a banana peel. My hypothesis on this is that wordless humor can be understood by anyone making it  universal. Which makes sense. I believe that even cavemen found things humorous, and although I cannot prove it, I do not think that caveman had  yet developed language. Humor is most likely a survival mechanism that is built into our genes.


Physical humor is the least subtle and easily understood. This, would suggest a sort of hierarchy in the development of humor and laughter.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WORDS ENTER?

Well, for starters, there is a different cognitive level at work. Words can have more than one meaning. They can be said in varied ways. The way one says a word can change it's meaning. I believe that in Chinese, the inflection can change the entire word. That's why email and texts can be so dangerous. Without the inflection or reading of the person's face, you are really clueless about the meaning or intent of the words.

Humor can also be different within cultures. I have a vague recollection that someone, years ago said that British jokes have, what we Yanks would call the "punch line" in the middle of the joke. This of course may have been thought because we can't understand British accents, especially if they're talking too fast or for the entire human race, if they are from Manchester. Then, all hope is lost for any understanding.

Yiddish humor is generally of a particular nature. Especially when using the example of a Jewish mother. I will tell an easy one.
Mrs. Gold bought her son Max two sweaters for his birthday. One brown and one blue. The next time Mrs. Gold saw her son, he was wearing the brown sweater. Mrs. Gold says, "what, you didn't like the blue one?"
If I have to explain, you are one of the people with no sense of humor, or no experience with Jewish mothers.

I don't have many black friends, but in my opinion, in the Black culture, making mother jokes is not going to get you laughs. More likely it will get you knocked out.

TO CONTINUE WITH THE LABELING OF TYPES OF HUMOR I WILL USE AN ARTICLE FROM PSYCHOLOGY TODAY. A WELL RESPECTED JOURNAL. (that was sarcasm)

Though humor is essentially social, how you use it says a lot about your sense of self, at least according to the article.

Put-Down Humor - I'm assuming they are referring to the type of jokes that make fun of other people.  I guess they would include sarcasm, but I'm not sure. They did. I checked back. Also ridiculing people, so since I'm Dr. Ridiculous, I have to ask myself if I ridicule people. I would disagree. I prefer to ridicule myself, which they talk about later.

Bonding Humor -   Me, I thought this was humor about S & M, although I'm not able to tell one off the top of my head.  So,

 I had to quote them, because it really didn't say anything specific. Like if you tell dirty jokes, is that going to bond you. People who use bonding humor are fun to have around; they say amusing things, tell jokes, engage in witty banter and generally lighten the mood. These are the people who give humor a good name. They're perceived as warm, down-to-earth and kind, good at reducing the tension in uncomfortable situations and able to laugh at their own faults.

Hate-Me Humor-  Self-criticism or if you have a high brow vocabulary, self-deprecating humor.  This is related to self-defecating humor. Did you laugh? Or did you not think that was funny.

it doesn't exactly fit, but I had it on hand.

Laughing At Life - This means you don't take life too seriously and can see the world and make jokes about it that aren't offensive. Or at least that's what I think they mean.

I don't think this is offensive and it shows us laughing at life. Ha Ha.

 

conclusion because it's late and I'm going to bed.

hypothesis:

Some days are like a bad joke. Some days are fun. Some days are neither. Regardless of the kind of day, humor can always make it better. Laughter is a gift you can give that doesn't cost anything and will give you a lot back.
Unless, you're in a public venue and you steal someone else's material. Then you will be in big trouble for copy write infringement and you'll need a lawyer.

If I could remember any, now would be a good time for a lawyer joke. But I'm really tired. So, I shall quote two of my old favorite comedians.
George. "Say goodnight Gracie,"  Gracie, "Goodnight Gracie."