I was brought up in a mostly Jewish neighborhood in Brooklyn. My parents were both atheists so I didn't get much about God, other than He didn't exist. I did get a smattering of Yiddish culture from being around other people.
We never celebrated any holidays, except for Thanksgiving. I knew other people were going to sedars and dinners for Jewish New Year, and fasting on Yom Kippur, but we were never invited to anyone else's' and never had our own.
Yet, I always knew I was Jewish. I suppose it was just a fact and thought of in no other way.
An aside. One of my cousins was Baptized although his mom was my mom's sister. I'm not
sure what he really considered himself and no doubt was brought up in a manner which gave
him no schooling on either. He married a Unitarian. They have a daughter who is, as are
they, extremely bright. When she was four, a girl in her class said, I'm Jewish, what are you?
Her reply was "I'm allergic". That's about as much culture as we all got.
My mother had been a victim of anti-Semitism during her early work years. She was an exceptionally bright, artistic and talented woman. She took classes at Columbia and become a draftswoman and worked during WWII.
She had several jobs during those years. I can only tell the stories as I remember them since everyone who might have known is long since gone. My memory will have to serve.
I believe one of the places she worked for was a company called the British Purchasing Agency. I'll look it up later. I'm sure it no longer exists.
She lied on her application and wrote in Protestant for religion. The Brits are/were quite anti-Semitic. I don't know if they did this with everyone, but they actually sent someone to her house to check on her. She lived with her mother at the time. Grandma was born in Russia, but when she was fairly young, her family moved to England on their way to America. Grandma was educated at the Rothschild School for girls. I never noticed it, because she's been here so many years, but she had no accent. Possibly a little British lilt but again, it's too long ago to be sure. My other grandparents spoke like most other Eastern European accents but somehow I never seemed to notice there was a difference.
Anyhow,
The company interviewed my Grandmother. Then they called my mother into the personnel office.
They told her that they knew she lied. My grandmother was obviously Italian and my mother, therefore Catholic. Since she was such a valued worker, they would keep her on, but she oughtn't lie.
I guess Granny looked Italian.
I believe the next job was at Bell Laboratories which what it was called back then. They were rabidly anti-Semitic. There too, my mom was a valued worker. The nicest back handed compliment they gave her, was from the union. She was called in, yet, again. This time she was told to slow down as she was making the other workers (men) look bad. Hello. There was a war going on. I still can't get over that bit of insanity.
The War was ending and the company started to alphabetically fire all the Jews. My mom was certain they wouldn't fire her because of her outstanding work. When they got to the H's, the hatchet fell and she was let go.
So much for being valued vs. being hated. Nothing personal of course.
I don't have a ridiculous theory this time. I believe she didn't like herself and part of that may have stemmed from being Jewish in a country that was predominantly Christian. Certainly her work experiences must have tainted her feelings about herself. She considered herself American. So what made her Jewish? Her surname? The culture she grew up in? The society she lived in?
I think I understand. It's hard to embrace who you are when so many around you hate "you" on principle and don't even know why. Although the United States was referred to as a melting pot, it was still far better to be a WASP, than a immigrant. This is beginning to sound vaguely like some current political issues I've tried to tune out.
WASPs, the non stinging kind, are very attractive. They have a heritage, pedigrees, privilege and at that time, certainly more money. They were portrayed as very cultured, intellectual, educated and elite. That too is starting to sound familiar.
In any event. I too, like my mom would like to be seen as intelligent, cultured and pedigreed. She was really. Me, not so much. Yes, I do care what others think of me. I'd like not to, but that takes more courage than I currently have.
However, I've learned not to hide who I am. Quirky, different and Jewish. I am also allergic to many things but I'll save that for another time.
