Crying at my Computer #locked-in-the-jail-of-technology

I believe that I have spent more time crying and being frustrated sitting in front of a computer, than anywhere else in my long life.

And yet again. I tried to add some pix from on-line, only it seems the changes they have made to the site won't allow it.

 

Why do they keep changing and updating everything?

I don't understand.

Just when I think I have it together, BOOM. I get an update and I can't get into my own blog. I can't find my old home page and assorted other issues.

This week, I tried to print something from online and the computer lost my printer. Yup. It was on my husband's network and he could print, not that he should be hooked in, but I spent 4 and one half hours, not being able to get it on my computer.

I was in a groundhog day loop.

Somehow, the next morning, after trying twenty-five ways to leave my computer, I hit it and got it back.

That was great, but so much else has gone wrong that I just want to sit here and scream and cry.

I hate technology. It hasn't made anything that much better. Not really. When you look at all we've gained and then at all we've lost, it wasn't worth it.

Russians hacking our elections, Nigerians scamming old people out of their savings and for what? So we could become too lazy to go to the bank? Or write a letter?

We are locked in the jail of tecnology

This just plain sucks. And there's no way to stop it.

When you are old, these are the only tools you need in any room.

And so it goes, or so it went. What a morning. What a week.  I'd give up, but I'm not a quitter. A whiner, yes, but not a quitter.

oh, if you get it from a Google search, maybe it's okay.

Thanks for reading. Or screaming or crying with me. I obviously need your support.

OP-ED THANKSGIVING OUR COUNTRIES ORPHAN HOLIDAY

WHEN THANKSGIVING WAS ABOUT FAMILY AND GIVING THANKS.

Just like the good old days

Good morning everyone. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving with minimum family drama. Did you shop on Black Friday? I didn't.

Even if I weren't on the road coming home that morning, I wouldn't go near a store that is brick and mortar.

yup. I want to get up at 12AM so I can shop.

When my mom was still alive and living in Connecticut, I used to go up to spend Thanksgiving with Mom and her two sisters. I'm guessing that was 25 to 30 years ago. I won't say that those were wonderful times, because I had a tough relationship with my mom, but still, it was family. And by then, I already had so little left. So, yeah. I miss it. No one is more surprised than me.

 A Picture of my mom when she was still young

But, as usual, I'm getting sidetracked.

I would get up at 7 am and drive the 20 minutes to the mall. It's so long ago that I can't even remember the name of it. It was built during the time my mom and aunts lived there and it was new and filled with sunlight and lots and lots of stores. Good stores as I recall.

At that hour, I would be one of the first shoppers as they were just opening up. Ah, the good old days when they opened early. At 8 am. Not the kind of "early" we have now. 12 a.m. is not early. It's crazy.

The parking lot was nearly empty. I would go in and wander in and out of the shops. I usually had quite a few shopping bags by the time I left, which was maybe two hours later. When there aren't lines and you walk fast, you'd be amazed at what you can accomplish.

The cars would be filling the lots as I was leaving. I was so glad to be on my way. I'm not a very patient person. If you've been reading my blog you'll know that.

honestly, I get woozy looking at this

I suppose that, when you do this marathon shopping with friends and family it becomes an outing or an experience. That must be why people do it. I love bargains but my time and sanity isn't worth those few extra bucks. Again, I'm not like most people.



What is really sad to me, is that Thanksgiving has become an "orphan" holiday. My friend and I go out for lunch and shopping once a week. We watch as the seasons pass and the displays come and go.

yeah, but it's autumn stuff. not Thanksgiving.

There is a very brief window of items for autumn. That may be the only time you might find a Pilgrim Platter or a decoration for Thanksgiving. Oh, wait. Halloween comes first so that window of opportunity is about 4 hours before all the scary and commercial items come out. And boom. Before its Thanksgiving, Christmas is on display.


I have so much to be thankful for. I'm thankful that I live in a country that made it a holiday for us to celebrate. I am thankful that it was on a Thursday which made it possible for many companies and agencies and banks to give us a four day week end.

What began as a history lesson has morphed into a weekend of face stuffing, shopping and football.


I am thankful that I can choose the way I want to celebrate. I hope you chose the one that works for you.

Happy Holiday.

WILL A WALL KEEP OUT THE DIRT? I THINK I KNOW.

THIS  SHOWS TWO PEOPLE SITTING OUT ON THE LANAI. BEHIND THE SETTEE IS WHERE THE DIRT CAME IN.

 

 This was personal for me. I had a problem with dirt blowing in through the screens into my lanai. For those of you who don’t live in Florida or Hawaii, that’s usually an outdoor area that has a roof and one or two walls and screens instead of walls.

It’s lovely to sit outside, but be inside at the same time.

So. If you go back quite a few posts, you will see me railing against the dirt that blows in from the screens and comes out of the concrete blocks around the pool.

It's now painted blue,  And that's not my floor.

 

I decided that to keep out the dirt, I’d build a small, but, inexpensive wall.

 

HYPOTHESIS:

If you have an area that is bordered by dirt, the dirt will come over the border.

EXPERIMENTAL METHOD:

Building a wall and objectively measuring the dirt that comes in, compared to the dirt that came in before the wall.

 

Description of experiment.

Okay. I didn’t measure the dirt. I eyeballed in and know after years, about how much comes in.

I built a two story Styrofoam Wall that is about 9” high and covers the entire area in question.

Digression. The building of said wall was delayed due to Hurricane Matthew.

 

The wall was completed in good time. Furniture moved around and some decorations put up to cover the wall which is plain (read as ugly).

 As was expected, less dirt blew in from outside. That would be a win.

EXTRANEOUS VARIABLES:

For those of you who are not scientists, that means, stuff you can’t predict beforehand.

Just a little piece of I think, cigar paper.

In my case, my husband taking up cigar smoking. The occurrence may or may not have coincided with the wall, but was definitely  related to having a nice place to sit and smoke cigars and not be in the house.

 I now have “new dirt” from an unexpected source.

crushes in ashes on the rug.

 

CONCLUSION:

Over the millennia people have attempted to combat dirt by cleaning. As those of us who clean know, it always comes back.

In this case, it had changed form.  Therefore, although the hypothesis was correct about the dirt being blocked by the wall, the dirt found another way in. It always has and it always will.

 

I am tempted to make a joke. Like, I’d like to hire someone to clean up the dirt, but if the Big Wall goes up, where will I find someone to hire?

But I wouldn’t say that so I didn’t.

 

Thanks for reading.       

 

PS. My husband will tell you the story about us driving in the car and me yelling at him for making dirt from breakfast. I pointed to the dirt, and he said, "That tiny crumb?"

We have very different ideas about dirt. Just to be fair.

THE ELECTION MAY BE OVER BUT THE STENCH LINGERS ON. GET OVER IT!

I had to stop posting on my other blog,  since there was a problem with sabotage. I had 17 thousand spaments. ( My word for comments that were really spam).
I hope it's fixed so I can get back here and voice my humble opinions.
The election is over and yet no one has stopped complaining, digging up new dirt, questioning the future and anything else you can imagine.




WHY?                  Theories:


1) There is nothing else going on in the world that needs to be reported on because it's not important.





2) Trump insulted the "liberal media" so often that he hurt their feelings and they are going to keep slamming him, because they can.

3) All "media" likes to scare the "people",( that would be us), so they keep  writing scenarios of what ifs. Like anyone knows.

4) People are having election withdrawal. After such a long time they became junkies and are still in need of their fix.



5) Our country is so divided that we've forgotten that we are one country.


I could go on, as you already know. I'll stop here. 
Am I happy with the outcome? No. Do I want to keep complaining and hearing about it?

Also, no.  Do I want to hear my friends gloat? No thank you.

Do I want to hear pundit opinions about the future?  No.



I would like the regular media and the social media to move on.

Thank you.   

WOMAN TO WOMAN DON'T WASTE YOUR VOICE

I JUST WANT TO REMIND ALL YOU WOMEN OUT THERE, THAT THERE WAS A TIME WE WEREN'T ALLOWED TO VOTE.

WE EARNED IT. WE DESERVE IT.

THERE ARE MANY FAMILIES IN WHICH THE HUSBAND, FATHER OR BROTHER STILL HAS THE POWER.

THEY TELL US WE DON'T UNDERSTAND LIKE THEY DO. MAYBE WE AREN'T AS BRIGHT.

HILLARY'S FATHER USED TO DO THAT TO HER MOTHER AT THE DINNER TABLE. SHE SAT AND DID NOTHING. IT'S ONE OF THE REASONS THAT HILLARY SPEAKS TO WOMEN.

I WAS ALSO NOT ALLOWED A VOICE IN MY FATHERS HOME. NOR FROM MY FIRST BOYFRIEND.

THEN WE TRIED TO GET OUT VOICES AND OUR POWER.

WHEN YOU GO INTO THAT VOTING BOOTH AND FILL IN YOUR BALLOT, YOU ARE ALONE. YOU ANSWER TO NO ONE BUT YOUR OWN SELF.

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO VOTE THE WAY ANY MAN TELLS YOU TO. IF YOU ARE AFRAID TO DISAGREE, DO IT IN PRIVATE. IT'S YOUR VOICE. DON'T WASTE IT.


                 THANK YOU ALL

GROWING OLD OR AS I LIKE TO CALL IT, PRETENDING IT'S NOT HAPPENING.

Grabbers, Can opener grabbers, OTC pain medicine, Step stool. Fire extinguisher, Yellow pages so you can call Ghost Busters.

Good morning. No one is more surprised to find me sitting here, than, well, me.
I will have to start and come back later. I have my Yoga class which I'm afraid of. Yes. I dragged a very heavy package yesterday and my back muscles are unhappy. So are my hands and some other parts I will need to stay on my feet. I'm going anyway because, I'm pretending it's not happening.

Then I will race (ha ha) home to change so I can meet some friends for lunch. Which I like to do except for the eating part. Because, as you age, your metabolism slows down and if you eat, it sticks like glue. You can pretend it's not happening, but me? Well, this one is harder in the land of pretend. I never learned to NOT see what's in the mirror. So, I try not to eat  too much. Except chocolate. So I can't waste calories on real food. Except on the doctors surveys, I pretend to eat enough vegetables and fruits. And they pretend to believe me.

Here is the drill for those of you who haven't reached this stage. There is no actual age. It's as individual as we are. Some hit it at thirty, some at sixty and some never get there. I'm not talking about people who die. God forbid. too tooo tooo spit.  Just people who are lucky and age well.  With or without surgical help. In this I include surgeries that save your life, replace body parts and make you look younger. Or make us pretend that you look younger.

LESSONS:

• You pretend your clothing shrank in the wash.
• You pretend that they are sealing bottles stronger than they used to, to insure that the contents don't get contaminated.
• You blame swelling in your hands on water retention.
• Just like they have made dinner plates larger, they have made your kitchen cabinets higher so you can no longer reach them.
• You, your spouse and your friends haven't aged. You are shocked to meet new people your age, and they look so old. You wonder where they went wrong.
• You pretend that what I just wrote is true.
• You're buying larger clothing sizes because the Chinese are either screwing with us, or don't understand our sizing because they are so small because they can't afford to eat.
• You pretend to believe what I just wrote.

  

• When the doctor puts you on medicine for Cholesterol, you know you're okay. High number run in your family so you don't have to worry about your eating habits.
• You pretend to believe what I just wrote.
• When your joints hurt, you blame the weather. Or an old surgery.
• You pretend that you are not in pain somewhere in your body on most days. This is true because it seems to move around. So what could be wrong? 

I could go on, but I don't think I need to. You're all quite smart. And when you or I don't know something, it is because we can't remember it. We are not stupid. And we don't have dementia. Hmm  Maybe I do? How would I know?

This reminded me I need to make an appointment with my hairdresser. Man, that is an old term. Who "dresses" their hair anymore? For that matter, who ever did? Anyway, I need to put some more dark in the light. So I can pretend I am younger so that I can think I'm younger?

this photo came up in a search for white haired people. Is my point vindicated?


Now I'm wondering why do I pretend? I can't speak for anyone else, although I usually do because who's going to stop me?
Anyway. Why? I have this image in my head of what "old" looked like when I was a lot younger. It looked awful. It probably was because medicine and lifestyle changes have come a long way. Still. Why should I care? I'm married and my husband would be fine if I gained weight and he wouldn't notice the wrinkles  or anything except if I cut my hair really short.

This was the first pic I found with my hair really short. I'm with Dr. Brian L. Weiss, author of Many Live, Many Masters. Actually this as the perfect picture to pull. I forgot. It doesn't matter. I'm going to be reincarnated and do it all again. YAY!

Okay. I don't want to grow old because to me, it brings me closer to the end of life. So, if I pretend I'm not there, maybe I won't have to acknowledge what we all know to be true.


 

Thanks for Reading

#HATE THE FLAVOR OF THE YEAR

it's on old photo with Benny Boo Boo. We miss him.

When I awoke this morning, I had no plan to blog. I wasn't feeling much like doing anything. It's Sunday. A day of rest.

I made the mistake of checking my email. I had a response from a Hispanic gentleman I don't know, who read one of my posts. He was obviously educated as I could tell by his well written statement. What it said, on the other hand was not as nice. He decided I was a communist liberal who has ruined the American educational system by caring about children's feelings and that Trump would clean house of all the people like me.

I responded by asking him what facts had led him to these assumptions since we did not know each other. I was afraid to ask why he felt (feelings are obviously bad) this way. I haven't looked for his reply.

The next thing I saw was a post from a friend for an Israeli site, called "Stand By Me"  which showed a news clip from a campus where a Jewish group was in a self contained room, and a Palestinian group broke through the windows and started a near riot. I read it quickly, but it looked like the head of the Jewish group was arrested. I may be wrong. I was so appalled I couldn't process the material.

I'M WORKING ON SHORT, AND TO THE POINT.

HATE

I will not go into the origin of Hate to keep things simple. They say it's learned and apparently we have been taught this lesson all too well.
okay. I hate spinach. I also hate, Hate.

Folks, have you noticed we are self-destructing? If we do not find a way to stop all this hatred, well, you may not know it, but the planet we live on will never be the same.

MY RIDICULOUS [OR NOT] PREDICTION.

The world's economy will worsen. People will become more angry and hateful. More dictatorships will arise and people will follow because they have no choice and sometimes, the lies we are fed give us false hope.

       

More wars will erupt. Everywhere. More people will die. More people will become even more impoverished. And, sooner or later, someone will ignite a bomb and you can kiss your children's asses good-bye. We want better for our children and grandchildren. That won't happen if we keep hating one another. Hate my opinions. Don't hate me. Hate what someone says. Don't hate the person who says it.

WE MUST FIND OUR COMMON GROUND. WE ARE ALL HUMAN BEINGS REGARDLESS OF OUR BELIEFS, SKIN COLORS, GENDERS OR RELIGIONS. WE NEED TO STOP IT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO WINS AN ELECTION. IT MATTERS THAT WE LEARN TO WORK TOGETHER FOR OUR GREATER GOOD. OR WE WILL ALL FAIL.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading. I'd put in my That's All Folks, but it would be too spooky with this post.

IS IT TIME FOR A WINTER BREAK? FOR FLORIDIANS, THAT MEANS GOLFING, NOT SNOWBOARDING

If you have noticed, I haven't been writing very much. Part of it is that my paid website was getting spammed to death and I have yet to clear up the problem. I love having a .com of my own, but if I can't get it fixed, I'll stay here where I started and really feel at home.

Anyhoo, the subject.  The weather is actually starting to cool down and that means time to spent outdoors.

During the summer, when I did a lot of my blogging, I was okay to stay inside and not melt. I was filled with ideas and happy to share them.

I wasn't slowing down, but I did get sidetracked along with the rest of the country, perhaps the world.

Our election. I admit. I got sucked in. I didn't want to but it was impossible to avoid. And like many others, it bordered obsession. I couldn't think of anything else to write about. How could I? Not when our country is divided and falling apart.  So, I stopped writing.

In doing so, I found out how much time I had been spending here, at the computer. On and off, day and night. I didn't mind. I still don't, not really.




It's just that it became like a full time job. The other site was able to take comments. That was the only reason I  started there. I can't get comments here, and I wanted feedback.  And oh boy, did I get it.

I tried to respond to each email. I began to notice a pattern. At some point, they were complimenting me so I would respond which may have endorsed their product or site. I was getting 2 to 300 comments on old posts. I'd answer and delete and somehow, they were there again. It felt like Groundhog day, the movie.

So, I did what any other chill woman would. I gave up after complaining in an email.

I have my file folder out and will be calling them any day. And, the check is in the mail.

So. I don't think I will be writing on the regular basis that I was. I'm not stopping, just deciding that I need to do some of the other things I enjoy, especially ones that can only be done when it's less than 83 degrees.



Because of my own abandonment issues, I decided to announce is so you wouldn't worry. I am so considerate I make myself cry. (LOL).

I would say, see you in the fall if I were still up north. It's more like "see you on a cold and rainy day" or when I actually can think of a topic that is interesting and NOT political. That's it. I better stop. Which is something I hope I learn on my sabbatical.

Thanks as always for reading.

POLITICS AND WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH US??????? #Whatiswrongwithus?

I think I did it now. I told myself and my friend that we had to stop responding to the political things we posted on Facebook. I tried. I really did. And then I posted one that was a challenge and my friend wrote back something like "Really?". I tried to back pedal and another friend caught me trying to excuse myself and stand up for what I'd posted.

So, first, I'm apologizing for getting involved and making digs at people I care about because they think/feel differently than I do.

Which leads me to the question. 

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH US?

None of us actually know the candidates who are running. But, we know our friends and families.







What is it that makes us so crazy that we insult people we love defending people we don't know?

I truly believe that neither of the candidates gives a rats ass about the middle class, or anything that doesn't in some way benefit them.

So.  WHY THE HELL ARE WE FIGHTING EACH OTHER?

For some reason, we are brought up to believe that we are supposed to belong to one or the other political party. And, as my son-in-law brought up, how the Hell did we wind up with only two?  But it is what it is, so we have to choose. Or maybe not.

BELIEFS CAN BE OUR ENEMY.

The area that belief usually comes into play is in religion. That is because it's faith based and not fact based. This is true about beliefs as well. We hold a belief even when it doesn't make sense.

example: HE HITS ME BECAUSE HE LOVES ME.

CONCLUSIONS:

We are self-destructing over our beliefs.
We are acting irrational due to our beliefs.
We have handed our brains over to our emotions, due to our beliefs.

WHEN THE ELECTION IS OVER AND WE ARE LEFT TO GO BACK TO OUR LIVES, WILL BE HAVE OUR BELIEFS AND HAVE LOST SOME OF OUR GOOD FRIENDS?

WAS FIGHTING OVER THESE TWO ASSHATS WORTH IT.

        THAT'S IT. THANKS FOR READING.

ALL LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS SUCK #long-distance-relationships-suck #relationsips

I've been missing my New York friends. It's been 12 years since I moved to Florida and although I love my life here, I miss what I had to leave behind.

My family of origin was small to begin with and not too functional. As I grew up and went into the world of school and work I made some really wonderful friends. They were the heartbeat of my life.

There were of course some changes in those friends in the course of 30 or 40 years, but some of the people were constant. And still are.

I felt like I had family. I'm not sure if you can be truly part of a family that you aren't related to, but that is open for question. I see now, that I "almost" had  family. It really can't be the same, no matter how much you want it to be.

In any case, I was there for every event. Births, deaths, marriages, coming of age celebrations. Holidays and hanging out. These wonderful people were my lifeline to belonging.

Seventeen years ago I remarried and things changed, as of course you would expect. My husband had family, although it too, was, small. Two young adult kids, a mom and step-dad and a brother and sister-in-law. (There were nieces and nephews and cousins too, but not in the daily mix).

And so, we began spending more time with his family, (mostly with Mom) and less with my friends. Except for the wonderful period of time that my God daughter and her husband moved practically around the corner from us. That was heaven. She had her first child while we lived there and I would walk over to their apt. and we would stroll into town and go to the yogurt restaurant and it was wonderful. I cherish those times and always will.

                     

 At this juncture, I retired. I knew I had to make a choice. It wasn't an easy decision. I knew that my "kids around the corner" would move to a house and not be there forever.  Still, I wanted that time to last. [BTW, they did move twice, further out on the island and I'm so happy for them.] So, they wouldn't have been around the corner, but it wouldn't have been a plane ride either.

Wanting to stay, we looked at some houses on Long Island and I came home crying in the car. The houses that the banks were willing to give us money for, were, well, not places I could have lived. And, it was that period of time that the banks would have given us money that we couldn't have afforded to spend.  We also didn't have a sufficient down payment because we had no house to sell and it was exactly when the real estate market was bubbling.

You know. The time the Brokerage Houses and Banks nearly ruined our economy? yeah. My timing has always sucked.

Originally I believed I'd be able to live in the southern part of FL, on the east coast where I  already had friends and my New York friends had parents or grandparents living  down there, so I knew I'd see them. Only that's not what happened.

I flew down to Florida to and spent a week with my friends (shout out to Gloria) while her husband took me to see houses. [He and his son were doing real estate at the time]  It was sickening.  Places that had been affordable weren't any longer. The houses I looked at that were almost in our price range, well, there was one that looked like it belonged in bombed out Beirut. The rest were  out of our range, like $200,000 or more and looked like fancy railroad cars or fixer-uppers that were all still too small.
     


That's how we ended up on the Treasure Coast. We still paid way, way over budget, but at least we got a nice sized house with a pool in a beautiful community.  I had to work another six years to have enough money to pay for it, but in the end, it was worth it. [I have to thank the Universe for that job. I taught psychology at Keiser University and without that job I don't know how we would have paid the mortgage.]

We were happy here except when the market crashed and we were totally under water. Since we weren't going anywhere, it was only depressing on paper. Yeah right.

But that's all just *Another Digression. My rationalization for why I'm here and you're all still up there.

I've come up when I could, and had wonderful times. Best vacations ever! But, as we all know, life goes on and when you're not involved in the day to day parts of it, you drift.

When my friends come down, they all stay with their families who are over two hours south of us. And so, we don't have the opportunity to get together.

So, I'm going to say it. I love my friends, and always will. I'm sorry that I don't know what's going on in your lives and can't be part of it. It is breaking my heart. But it is, what it is. 

Thankfully my stepdaughter and her husband and the two  littler boys (our grandsons) are only a bit over three hours away. (LOL if you've ever been in a car with me after an hour). 
Her mother-in-law and her mom and her husband all live within twenty minutes of the kids. Her husbands sister is also there with her husband and little daughter.  We all get along and love the time we spend there.

So, what's my point? I don't want to admit it, but I feel a disconnect. I was never good with phone calls or texts.  I was good with emails, although the friends my age were not. At first I communicated with the kids with emails, but everyone has moved on the Facebook (me too), texting and other social media. I'm sorry to say, that it's just not the same. It's great to see all the photos and all, but I'm out of the loop. It isn't a "blame thing". It's one of those things that happens in our lives.

CONCLUSION:

In this day and age of mobility and technology one would hope that keeping relationships alive would be easier than ever, no matter where you were on the planet. And, in some ways that's true. But what you have are virtual relationships, and it's not the same. They aren't real. 

I will always love my friends. No matter where they are. That doesn't matter. My heart is theirs. I don't know if they will feel the same. I believe they do. Only it's different and it hurts.