DECISONS, DECISIONS, DECISIONS. HOW DO YOU MAKE THEM? HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S RIGHT?

We are all, constantly faced with decisions, that either have to be made right away, or those where we have time to think it through.

Sometimes it's easier when you're forced by time. With less time to think, you can sometimes work more with your gut than your head. That would probably be better for me, because as you know, my head is always putting in for overtime.

If you've been following my blog, and all the new things I've done, you know that I've overwhelmed myself with options and questions, which have possibly overwhelmed some of you too.

 Some Questions I was asking myself -

1. Do I want three internet pages to deal with?
2. Do I have to write the same thing on both blogs since they have the same title?
3. Should I have a format for what to write for each day?
4. Am I losing my memory and mind? oh. that doesn't belong here. That should be on another list. sorry.
5. What do I do with my new Facebook page?
6. Do I need a Facebook page?
7. I forgot whatever other things I was asking. See no.#4.

So, here are some of the decisions I made, And because they are online, and not in "real life", they are not written in stone. I should  clarify that. To me, online is a virtual life, and not what I am actually living. It is however an integral part of all our lives, and perhaps for some, just as meaningful as the lives they actually live. For me, though,it's not. Therefore I can change online decisions if I want to, because I don't live my life on line. Of course not all decisions are that easily changed. I will address that later.

THE DECISIONS

• I am not going to write the same post on each blog.
• I don't usually write everyday but, I would like to have a predictable schedule.

• Therefore:

• Mondays will be Psychology.
• Tuesdays will be Relationships.
• Wednesdays will be politically related.
• Thursdays will be hmmm. your  suggestions.
• Fridays will be things from my life.

This will be for this blog. I don't know yet what I'll do for the other one. Not making a decision, is a way of making a decision and pretending you didn't.
 
I just realized that it's Friday. I'm writing about my life. What a nice coincidence.

As for FACEBOOK:

I had to look at my husband's page because mine is loaded with all sorts of administrative tasks for ads, and instructions that I don't understand and I was dumb enough to think, that maybe, that was what you were seeing too.

Thank God it's not. I am going to keep it because, it appears that when you sign up, you sign up to my blog on WordPress. That's a plus because I haven't figured out how to do that yet. Of course making a phone call to their 24 hour tech support would be really helpful. But in that way I'm worse than a man asking for directions. I'll do it. Just don't rush me. See. That's why having a
deadline for a decision is good.

     THIS IS THE FACEBOOK PAGE. KIND OF.

 

 

Dr. G's Ridiculous Theories

 

 

 

 

 

Theory, Hypothesis etc. As my former format.

I'm only going to use them when they fit. Of course they can always be made to fit, but, I'll see how it goes without.

Life is like an experiment. There are too many confounding variables to be able to predict anything.


DECISION MAKING AS A TOPIC:
[pretend this is for a Monday]

Not all decisions are difficult. Although they can be for certain people. I've had friends who were so messed up from being in an alcoholic marriage, that they couldn't decide which peas to buy.  That sounds extreme, but when you are so worried about what other people think, every decision can become an ordeal.

If you fit this category of having trouble with even the smallest things, you're probably a people pleaser. Check back and read my previous post on that issue. It was a popular one.

The majority of problems for most people usually come when it's a big decision. Like getting married (or living together?) or divorced,  buying a house, what career to choose, should I go to the doctor,should I share my feelings with so & so,  and anything else you might consider that I didn't.

These are decisions that will have a huge impact on your life. Those should require time and thought.

I'm one of those people who like to make lists of pros and cons. I like to investigate the possibilities of the financial realities of the choice, the emotional ones, the physical ones, and I like to plan.

Once you've made a decision, you don't have to rush into it.

There's an old joke.  Three frogs are sitting on  a lily pad. One says, "I've decided that I'm going to jump into the water". The other frogs are, sure, whatever.
Two hours later, how may frogs were sitting on the pads? 

Three of course. Once decided to jump. However, he hasn't done it yet.

Which brings me to the not making a decision, decision. If you say you can't choose between the rock and the hard place just yet, you are really choosing to stay between the rock and the hard place.

Not choosing leaves you where you are. I'll assume that you've told people you want to change and choose one or the other or something else. 
That would suggest that you aren't happy where you are. So by freezing in place, you don't allow yourself a choice but think you have one. 

I get it. Changing sucks because it means facing fears and the unknown. The old adage of staying with what you know because it is less frightening is true.
No one ever said it was better, or healthier or had the potential for growth.

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S RIGHT for you?

Usually, you don't. Not before hand. And sometimes not even for a while afterwards.

Personally, I've come to the conclusion that what you decided to do, is the right
decision.


                 


Also, unless the decision is irreversible, you can always make another decision and another change. Well, if your spouse doesn't want you back, that may not be an option, but you can still make another change if you feel this one isn't quite right.


Life if filled with constant changes and decisions to be made. Probably, after you've died, you won't be able to change those decisions, but until then, life is filled with possibilities.

What it takes is strength. Courage is a word that people don't understand. It doesn't mean that you're not afraid. It means that in spite of your fear, you go charging into the breach and pray. If you stay put, you'll never know whether or not you missed something. I guess that's okay too. You can't know what you don't know.

 

THANKS FOR READING

 

A SHIP WITHOUT A RUDDER IS LIKE A BLOG WITHOUT A THEME. NO, WAIT. IS THAT BACKWARDS?

Title: A Blog without a theme is like a ship without a rudder.  When I first started blogging, I had no idea what I was in for. I had no idea what I was doing. Not that I do now, but that should be fairly evident. I still like writing but the idea of the Blog’s name is really broad. Is that a good thing or a very bad thing?

 

 

My latest ridiculous theory: 

A blog is supposed to have a unified theme and a target audience. However, you can still be successful, even if you don’t.

 

Theory:

If you don’t have a unified theme and a target audience for your blog you can still find followers.

Hypothesis:

I have no idea what I’m talking about but believe you will find me and follow me anyway.

 

Research design:

Right now, I’m blowing in your virtual ears.  You know that old saying, “Blow in my ear and I’ll follow you anywhere”?  It’s from Dick Martin and the show was Laugh In. For you young’uns, it was something totally out of the box for the time. Not just the TV box. And here I go again. With yet another digression. [Maybe I should change the name to just another digression].

I don’t actually do research for most of my posts, because, well, they are so silly there isn’t any research. Or if there is, I’m too lazy because I hate research.

The reason for this section is simple. In one of my attempts to organize the blog, I decided that if it had a consistent template, that would help. Except that 80% of the time, I have no research design and sometimes, not even any facts. So now, I’m blowing smoke in your ears.

I would possibly have facts in the form of actual feedback from you, the reader. That’s why I am posting this blog in two places now, instead of just the one on Google where attempts to comment are mysteriously vanished into thin air when you press a button. Only two people were able to post there and I’ve no idea why, although Len has a theory.  Go Len!

 

I now, write this on Word and paste in into each blog. Then, I have to find pictures and put them in one blog, and then copy them into the other.

 

If that weren’t enough, I was directed by WordPress to FB who wanted me to make an app. Somehow, shockingly, I couldn’t figure out how. Miraculously though it made a Dr. G’s Ridiculous etc. page on Facebook.

 

So, I now have three places to annoy people. I do apologize for that. If I could figure out one hosting site that did all the things I want, I could keep it to just one. And that was another digression. Damn. I guess my meds didn’t kick in yet.

 

Findings: 

This blogger has found that she is directionless. Only in my writing. I do lots of other things when I’m not sitting here.

 I may not have a lot of followers, but according to Google + I’ve had over 54,000, I guess you could call them hits, on the blog, {or maybe it’s just my Google+ page, I don’t know,} which has been up since October 2016. I just did the math. With a calculator which unless I’m really off, would be 5 thousand a month? Is that possible? And I have over 30 actual followers.

 

Anyway. I think some of it is due to my posting pictures on one of Googles photography groups, which are thankfully amateurs like me so I don’t feel intimidated to put things up. Another digression. Even so, if someone has looked they have not stayed.

So, how does one get people to stay? That sounded pathetic.  Like, I love him so much and he just won’t commit. Oh, Abbey, how do I get him to stay and say he loves me?  And no. It’s 8:30 am and I am sober.

 

 

CONCLUSIONS:

I NEED YOUR HELP. {YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT I NEED HELP, BUT I’M GETTING IT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH}  for this I need you!

What I need to know, is what direction you would like me to take.

Maybe a different theme each week? (I’m so proud, I thought of that just now on my own). Maybe I could have a suggestion list from readers and write about them. The suggestions, not the readers. I’m not that dumb (yet).

Therefore. I conclude that it is your duty as my friend, acquaintance, relative, neighbor, associate, member of Facebook or the human race, to write to me with your opinions.

 

WHERE YOU CAN REACH ME:

I did not use my actual name because I wanted some level of anonymity but my real email is unfortunately associated with the WordPress blog. And I couldn’t change it. So there. You have no more excuses. You can write comments and suggestions on very own website @ Drgsridiculoustheories.com

Or

Dr. G’s Ridiculous Theories on BlogSpot although you’ll have to email them to me at drgsridiculoustheories@gmail.com

Or now

On Dr. G’s Ridiculous Theories Facebook page. You can do all the things you can do on FB. I think.

So. No more excuses. I appreciate all the thumbs up, but it’s not enough. When I go to the photography community, I don’t just like many of the pictures. I write a comment because I know that makes it more personal and the photographer gets to feel validated in a special way. And don’t we all want to feel special?

I do the same thing on FB when I have the time which is getting harder lately.

I know we all are, but sometimes it’s really nice to hear it from someone other than you family.

 

 

Thanks for reading.

REVIEWS, COMMENTS, OPINIONS. HOW HELPFUL ARE THEY REALLY?

    
                   

     

        On my goodreads page these are my available stats: 

                                          886 ratings (3.50 avg.)     27 reviews

 

Title Idea: Isn’t it great to be able to read other people’s ratings to help you evaluate a product?  I love Amazon (for their products) and Kindle and Goodreads, because you can read so many reviews and that can help you make a more informed decision.  Usually. Isn't that what its intent is?

 Except when you don’t like what they say and you are dumb enough to reply. (That was me).

 

MY LATEST RICIDULOUS THEORY: 

If you read my review of the Butterfly Garden, you’ll know that I really loved that book.  After reading it, I posted a review on Goodreads. I also looked at some other reviews. I read some that were only one star, because I was curious as to the reasons someone would not be liking something I thought was so good. There was one review, where the woman,  who,in my opinion, ranted about how awful the book was for five or six long paragraphs. Why would someone put so much energy into not liking a book?  In my stupidity, I posted a reply. Do you remember the term “flame war?”

 

THEORY:

People enjoy expressing themselves. They do not however, like, when they are disagreed with.

 

 

HYPOTHESIS:

 When most people express their opinions, they believe they are right. Well, we all think our opinions are right or why would we express them? (Except for our friend Fred, who enjoys stirring people up. You probably know someone like him. They're fun as long as you're on to them). Many people do not understand that an opinion is not an actual fact, and will fight til the death defending their words.

Research design:

In this instance, all I have to go on is my experience. Being old is always a good justification for that. Except maybe when it comes to technology. Although I have been on line for many years. Especially on Ebay. And I think that may have been where you could get in trouble because they didn’t have the rating system and monitors they now have.

Back in the day, if you said something someone didn’t like, you incited a "war." Nasty words flew back and forth and it was definitely not something you wanted to get involved with. I never did.  Not until, well, here’s the story.

 

In research we call this anecdotal evidence. Which is the fancy way to say, “oh yeah, this is what happened to me.” This is what we use when we don’t have any actual statistics to back us up. (Think of this like insider trading only since there’s no money involved we can’t get arrested).

Now I get to tell a story.

 You can check the year, since I’m too lazy. It was right after Michael Jackson died. I had this really cute broach which was a Mickey Mouse head, with attached, swinging gloved hands. It was gold tone with rhinestones and in perfect condition.

I couldn't find the pin on line. It must be really rare.

 

I had purchased it quite a few years before I decided that Michael was a sicko, so I decided it might be a good time to sell. I put it on Ebay and had one winning bid. From a woman named Dawn.

I waited for payment and it didn’t come. I sent her an email. Her response was an apology but she had bid on impulse and she and her family didn’t even have rent money etc. so she wouldn’t be buying it and it was my fault for tempting her. In retrospect, I should have let her go. But blaming me? That brought out my stubborn. I wrote back that I would inform Ebay and she would get a negative review. So, before anything happened she wrote an awful review about me. I don’t recall the deets, but it pissed me off. I had 100% positive feedback and was not going to let this nutcase get away with this!

I put in a complaint to Ebay because she was wrong, and I wanted that review removed and didn’t want to pay the commission on money I hadn’t received.

The next communications I received from Dawn, after berating me, were mostly her telling me I was the devil and she and her pastor were praying for me. I think that was her way of apologizing.

 

At that point I pursued the proper channels. I got them to drop the charges against her (since I was not looking to do anything more with her) and had Ebay take down the feedback. I never posted anything negative about her. It was like nothing had happened. Mostly I forgot about it. Until now.

 

Working definitions.

Every site has a different term or format for feedback from its customers. On

Goodreads you write and give a numbers of stars for a review of a book.

Facts:

I read a review that I responded to on Goodreads. Honestly, I had no idea that Lucille would be so offended. As I mentioned she really put what sounded to me, like vitriol into this review. I disagreed with her reasoning and the only thing that I said that seemed to set her off, was, “where is all this hate coming from?”  (I have since deleted my posts because I didn’t want them there).  I assumed she would understand that I meant hate for the book. Here is where I will say that I was picking up something in my unconscious. My training was kicking in. Because if you read her replies, she actually was rather hateful.

I got a reply and was a bit surprised at how angry she was. She thought I was calling her hateful, I think, and then lambasted me for my opinion of the book.

One other woman wrote something that supported what I said, but then a couple of other women and Lucile kept coming back with me being an awful person. I had of course apologized initially. I never meant to say anything hurtful and said so. I also said everyone was entitled to their opinions. And she wrote back something else. And something else.

I decided, okay. Another Dawn. I stopped responding. Actually, I only responded twice and let it go. Then, a month later, I get another email about a new thread. She is still on me and saying something like she’s going to be happy to ignore me. Huh? I hadn't been writing.

Just another day in my life.  That’s when I deleted all my posts.

Findings:  Most of the time, reading other people’s reviews of products is a good thing. I like sharing (as you know since I’m writing this blog) and understand that not everyone will give a thumbs up. I actually appreciate the negative reviews, you know, like the product wasn’t well made, the screws don’t line up. Things that are helpful. I suppose, one should keep this in mind. Reviews of an actual product that has dimension and purpose is easier to write. about. It can be based on facts and not just opinions.

 

 

CONCLUSIONS:

Reviews, comments, thumbs up or thumbs down are useful tools.  However, they are probably best used when there is an actual product involved. If you are reading an opinion, you have to remember that. It is only a person’s opinion. And a person you don’t know. Looking at the overall stats is probably better than reading the individual remarks. Also, if you don’t like something, it’s probably best to keep it to yourself. At least in my humble opinion. It's just an opinion. And only mine. It really bears no weight anywhere. Except in my head, and oh yeah,

 on this blog.

I don’t want only positive comments. I would love to have a dialogue. Discourse and disagreements are places where you can learn. Just be careful where you leave your footprint.

Thanks for reading. As always, your friend in cyberspace.

Guess which one is Fred.