CONFESSION: I am Calendar Challenged aka CCCD

   I suppose you are wondering what I am writing about.  I don't think it is that rare, but most definitely underdiagnosed.
   I did not become truly aware of my condition until I retired and moved to Florida. Until then, I generally had a good handle of where to be and what time and what date. This was camouflaged by having a work schedule. I had to know if it was the work week or the weekend. Still, I had several calendars around to write down appointments and dates and anything that was not in my highly organized routine.
    Being in the north was also a mask.  The four seasons helped clue me in to what month it might be. I couldn't confused August for January. The weather at least told me if the month was cold, I was likely to be in Winter.
    Winter is coming. How nice of them to remind me.

   In any event, CCCD stands for Chronically Calendar Challenged Disorder. I have it in what would be diagnosed as the severe range.
  
   I am never sure what month it is. Even though I look at my calendar frequently, I can't remember. It doesn't help that in Florida our seasons are different.  We have, very hot, moderately hot, hot, not so hot, cool, cooler and warm. Sometimes there is no pattern to these seasons so you must check the calendar or be confused. I, am usually confused. Because I have CCCD, the calendar no longer registers in my brain. It's like that disorder where people can look at you but not recognize your face. Everyone looks a like. Yup, it's very much like that.

   I have been frequently embarrassed by appearing at a doctors appointment either on the wrong day at the right time, or the right day at the wrong time, or when I don't have an appointment.

   How do I know the day of the week? Normally, I don't. I try to figure out what I did the day before to possibly get a clue.

   Again, in the older times, when I watched live TV and didn't have everything on DVR, I had to know what night it was or I would miss my TV shows. Sadly, I can and do watch whatever I want whenever I can. Another clue has gone missing.

    You would think I could look at my phone or computer to get the information. I forget to. That's kind of on me, but it's like looking at my watch. I still wear at least one. You know how that is. You look at it, nod your head, and proceed to forget what you saw.

    I will even admit to going for professional help. That's one of the places I go to on the wrong day or time.  It doesn't seem to be working or I'm not doing the work.

    Even though my husband tells me I have a much better memory than he, and about other things, he is right, in this, he is like my seeing eye guide. (I think if I said dog he might feel hurt. sorry honey.)  I don't know how I would know anything without him.

   I have tried having multiple calendars and clocks all around the house. When I am home, I know what time it is. Of course that's not usually when I need to know, but it's progress. If I have an appointment, I write down the time I have to leave the house, not what time the apt. is for. Otherwise, I leave when I should be there.

  I try to cross off the days so I know which days are gone. Did I mention that even if I remember what month it is, I don't know if it's the beginning, the middle or the end? 

   I love Christmas season because when people put up their lights I know it's December. The stores have me all off because they start too early. It's still been 90 degrees and I'm looking at Santa wearing fur. It's a good thing I don't have any winter clothes or I'd probably put them on.

   My theory. This disorder is disguised by working and only having two days to be confused about. I believe that also, in changing ones geographic location you are messing with your inner time tables and clocks.  If you move from the land of the midnight sun, you will be just as confused. People should NOT leave their time zones. Do not mess with your circadian rhythms. It will give you CCCD.
   And, whatever day and time this is. Oh. It's Friday the 13th. And my last piece of furniture arrived an hour ago. Guess what. It was fucking damaged. Different shippers, different retailer. Way to go Universe.

    I wanted to post some calendars that I have but I shall do that as soon as I send photos to the shippers whose fault it is not.

Would it be totally rude?

 Good morning. It's past my bedtime so I oughtn't be held accountable for this.
 I finally found an easy way to sign up for my blog. At the very top it says "email" and you put in your email and then hit submit.
  True, it does have a verification at your email address, which may make this question moot.
   The question is, would it be ridiculously rude for me to enter my friends email addresses and sign them up? I mean, what chutzpah. What self promotion. What a cool, yet uncool idea.
   As you would have to verify your email you would still theoretically be in control of whether or not you really signed up.
   Of course, if you didn't, my feelings would be soooooooo hurt and I'm not sure I would recover.  And would you want to be responsible for my downward spiral?
   Life can be so complicated for one with a conscience.

   So, my theory is, that although it would be so easy to do, and I could probably manipulate people with guilt ( I have been culturally schooled in this matter), I conclude that it would be wrong. So I will take the moral high ground, since I was also schooled in that. No wonder I'm ridiculous. How does one reconcile all of the things I've been taught that contradict one another?
   That shall be a blog for another day. Or night. Or whatever time or day it is.
   Your friend. The befuddled Dr. G.

I'm trying to find my voice and the audience for it

      I just looked at my statistics. Sadly, only one person has subscribed. I am not disheartened. For two reasons. The first being that it is so hard to find the subscription button, they should call it the G spot. (It's almost at the bottom. hmmm. can I liken it to my analogy? I'd best not. I'm not sure I could find it either and it's not the same on everyone. This page, however, probably is). 

   Alright. If you get the blog the way I do when I pull it up, it has each one I've written. Scrolling all the way to the first one, at the end of it are the words "Home"  and "Older Posts".
Under this are the very nearly invisible words                 Subscribe to : Posts (Atom).

    The other problem is that my posts are all over the place. I looked at the stats and the ones that seemed to get the most hits were about America being upside down and Thanksgiving.

    Does that mean you want a political spin?  A country home spun view?  Beats the Hell out of me. I know, which Hell?  I still can't say.  I thought it was funny. My husband, whom I forced to read it last night in bed before we went to sleep didn't think it was funny.
    He was concerned that I thought I was going to Hell, which by the way, I don't actually believe in. And he thought the subject was morbid. I didn't agree but at least we didn't fight about it. Funnily, he told me it was a bad time to talk about such things and to let him read them when he wanted to and then told me about someone he knows who has a little child in hospice who is in a vegetative state and she feels guilty and we spoke about that a bit.
    I thought I was being very kind in not mentioning that this might not exactly be bedtime conversation either, but, I refrained. Maybe I put him in the mood.

      Wifely hint:  If you don't want your husband to get amorous at bedtime, you don't need a headache. Just start talking about death or something morbid and just kill (LOL) the mood.
     Wow. That was a really long digression from a topic I don't even have yet.

    No on seems to want to comment on my writing so I really am only getting advice from one source, and we all know that is not a large enough sample. So, again I am asking for help in giving me feedback.

   What topics would you like to read about?  I can't guarantee that my mind will agree, but at least it's a start. Over 800 people have read the posts (all totaled to the 18 of them) which actually sounds like a lot to me. So. Am I singing opera? hip hop? country and western? rock and roll? Give me hand and tell me what key to start in.

Thank you all.


                               

Good, am I?  Follow the Father's steps to the dark side? Know I not.

WHAT NEW FRESH HELL IS THIS?

    I have recently been hearing this expression, which is cute and catchy.  Unfortunately, for you, it got me thinking.
     About Hell. I did a little research and the simplest definition of Hell is a place of punishment and torment in the afterlife. When the religion is cyclical, like those with reincarnation, it can be the place in between lives.
    Shockingly, I shall not go into this more. Those of you are want to know more can look it up.  There is a wealth of material no doubt.

      For me, the question really is, if Hell exists, which one will I be sent to?  That of course pre-supposes I will have done something Hell worthy and not had a chance at redemption, but I figure it's my most likely scenario.

      According to David Barret , & the editors of the "World Christian Encyclopedia", there are estimated to be 19 major world religions, subdivided into a total of 270 large religious groups and many smaller ones.

     According to Wikipedia, there are roughly 4200 religions in the world.  I think perhaps they may have a different notion on what constitutes a religion, hence the incredibly ridiculous variance in the numbers.

    Wiki (we are on a first name basis) refers to religion as a belief or faith based system of a group, and can be different from private beliefs.  Again, if you want to define religion, feel free to take a whirl on Google or Bing or whatever your favorite search engine might be.
     I am striving to not digress (too much).

    I did look up Hell for some of the major religions, and there too, I found few simple answers.

    Hell in Islam is a place prepared by God for those who do not believe in him. (short version).  When I asked  Google if all non-Islam believers go to Hell, there were two basic kinds of responses. The first is the one we hear most often; that anyone who is not a believer goes to Hell.  The better reply, suggests that we are not judges and the only one who can answer that question is God aka Allah.

    Trying to find an answer as to who in Christianity goes to Hell, was harder than getting through the maze in The Shining.  If you want to know about that, I suggest you find a Christian rulebook. Maybe there is a Hell for Dummies somewhere out there.  Again, you're on your own.

    Early Judaism had no concept of either Heaven or Hell. Until the influence of  the Hellenistic period at which time they added the concept of Gehenna. A sort of Hell. Digressive thought: Do the words Hell and Hellenistic have a relationship? I'll have to check that later.

   It turns out that Gehenna was an actual garbage dump outside Jerusalem in the olden days.  At some point in time, when certain people died, I'm not sure who, they weren't specific, these people, were dumped in Gehenna and burned.  So maybe Hell is a garbage dump in the Holy Land, or just living next to one.

                                               TIME TO GET BACK TO MY QUESTION:
                                                   WHICH HELL WILL I BE SENT TO?

        The reason I ask, is that belonging to and practicing a particular religion doesn't seem to insure going to their Hell. If I were a Catholic, I would assume that I'd go to Catholic Hell.  Notwithstanding, as so many of the doctrines seem to contradict one another I am no longer sure that belonging to a specific religion ensures my place in either Heaven or Hell.  If I'm an unrepentant Christian sinner, I should go to  a Christian Hell, but Islam says that they don't care if I'm good or bad, I'm going to their Hell.  Just because. Ha Ha.  Jokes on us.       If I believe in Reincarnation, which I do, will I go to Christian Hell, Islam Hell or Jewish Hell while I'm waiting? 

   And what about the other  270 offshoots or the few thousand Wiki mentions?  What kind of Hells do they offer and what are the qualifications for admission? And is Hell always forever? I did read one funny thing where in one religion you got out and it wasn't so bad, cause it was only a few billion years. But, hey,  what's that against eternity?


    I believe that since I am the one who lived my life, I should have some say in the matter.
I'm  just having trouble deciding on how. So far I have three options.  Wait, while I was writing I thought of a fourth.

    1)  Multiple Choice.  
         There should be a list of options and you get to choose one. However the traditional four choices is too narrow, given the gravity of your answer. Maybe 20 options would do.     However, who would score it to see if you chose the "right" answer? Does that leave it up to someone else.

    2)  Essay questions.
          Choose two out of three and write your damndest on the topic. There could be choices like " why I would like to go the Gehenna" or "why there is no way in Hell I think Islam Hell is for me "could be potential selections.  Again, it gets back to who is going to read them and make the decision? Me?  I like that answer. Maybe.

    3) Trial by jury.
         This is obviously more complicated and reminds me of one of my favorite movies, "Defending Your Life". If you haven't seen it, it's hilarious. AD*
 Some questions on procedure.  Do I get to do it before I die or after?  Only isn't after too late since I've probably been slated me in already? Or, where do I get my judge and jury. At least I should be able to choose them. You know, get a little edge. Still, I have a lot more queries.

     4)  Lottery.
          That sounds good. Everyone gets a ticket at birth, and it's kept where no one can see it.  Then when your number is up, you go. And it's already pre-scribed (written) so there's no fuss, no muss, you just get whisked off into your eternity.

        I am finding that I like number 4 best. Although some people seem to have better luck with things related to gambling. Like, how can several people win big, really big jackpots twice? Also, I have friends who usually get the good scratch off. I'm not one of them. The last time I won was the first time I played with my God Daughter, Michelle and we split $36.  And that was in the 80's. Last century. It's fun to say that. Also horrific.  And yes, I have played the lottery, although not regularly.  One year while I was still in NY, I sent in money a year subscription for my numbers to be played weekly. See, I gave it a year. I won $1. Okay. I lied. The first time I played wasn't the last win. Sue me.  On rethinking this, with my luck, maybe I'd be better off with one of the other methods.

       Theory of the morning.
       Hell may or may not exist. I don't know. I do know that we can create our own Hell on earth if we choose to. And that's really dumb. I mean, if there is a possibility that there is something worse after this, why would we want to screw this up?
       At least we know life exists. Maybe  it once did, even on Mars.  But definitely here.  So what are you waiting for? Go, enjoy. It's a beautiful day.


Multiple Choice Test

1)   Gehenna

2)  Fire & Brimstone

3)  Rolling a large rock up a hill and when it gets to the top, it rolls
     over you and you end up at the bottom and start all over again.
     Eternally.

4)  Being in school naked, taking a test and having everyone  
     laugh at you.  Every day. New students and teachers.

5) Satin has you tied to a stake in keeps thrusting his pitchfork into
     you. And it hurts.

6) Watchin the worst movie ever made, over and over for eternity.

Okay. Some are worse than others. Isn't that what choice is about?