Tracking and counters - UPS and Ebay are great. USPS and this site. Not so much

      I am so happy when I know when my package that I ordered is going to arrive. I am happy, or used to be, when I would sell something on Ebay and was able to see how many people had looked at my auction. This is tracking in action.

       Our post office is trying. They give you a number and when you check on it, well, you get no information. In transit is not my idea of a useful fact.

       When I write this blog, there is a dashboard, although the things I'm looking at are on the right-hand side of the page, so maybe it has another term. Arm rest comes to mind.
       It tells you statistics. I can see a line graph (see, you do have to use math. I wanted to say geometry but I think that's the wrong branch) of how what pages were read, how many people read them and maybe some other statistical stuff I am not recalling. Remember, my short term memory is shot.
      It also supposedly tells you how many people are subscribed to this blog. So far, I have a goose egg.  A zero. No one. Nada. Effice. Zip. They have to be wrong.
      I subscribed to myself. I know, it's like voting for yourself in an election, but I wanted to see if it worked. Also, my husband subscribed. He even told me when he got the confirmation email so I would know. 

     The question is:    Why can't I see how many subscribers I have?  Are they trying to make me work harder before giving me a number?  Do they want me to get discouraged and give up?

     Actually, it reminds me of my Pinterest account. They have me following some number and have me with 38 followers.  Like since forever. However, they keep emailing me that so and so ,and so and so have started following me.  It started to add up. Although I never counted the number of newbies, I wanted to see how much it added up to. And guess what. The number of followers that Pinterest has listed hasn't ever changed. What gives Pinterest? 

   Several theories pop into my mind. I know. You have no idea. It's like living with a bowl of Rice Crispies inside my head.  Snap    Crackle and      Pop.

       I am going to attempt to use the bullet points.  Not that I wanted to use bullet points last night, but since I couldn't figure out how to publish the last post without the most peculiar breaks in it, I'm trying this.

• The government doesn't want me to know because they are following me.  That was written by the schizoid from yesterday's post.
•  Some sites have better programs and programmer's than others.  
• The better sites have Native American programmers doing their tracking.
• I am technologically challenged.

 
       I am not quite sure which it is. I know I have challenges, but why only on certain sites?
 
         What you can do to help

1. Subscribe and let me know
2. Tell me if you've unsubscribed. Obviously they won't. PS I won't hold a grudge..... for long.
3. Write comments. Lots and lots of comments. That's the only way I'll know you're really reading them.  I don't even care if they make sense. Half the time I don't so why would you care?
4. There is a comment space at the end of each post. Even  I have figured out how to do this. I hope you can too. I think there is even a cute little pencil somewhere near the comment section. Usually you hit enter after you write something. At least that's how it is on Face Book. 
5. Please. Pretty please with sugar on top. If you're diabetic or watching your weight I'll sprinkle Truvia, the good stuff.

        I know that I have said that I'm sorry's are not worth much.  I still believe that. So this is not an apology. My ego has taken over. I need approval and can see that I've become shameless in asking for it.  Even though I keep reading that one needs to ask for help, I still don't like doing it. So why do I continue?
      Theory. oh no. Even I didn't see that one coming.

     Except for my husband and a few friends, this is kind of anonymous.  I don't know who you are, and you probably don't know the actual me.  Therefore, I should not worry about being judged. Unless it's by a jury of my peers and since I live in Florida, that should worry me.   See y'all later.








     

Some Dating Profiles for Special People. No offense intended. I'm special too.

      Please pardon the crazy way the ads are posted. Obviously, I couldn't figure out how to make an indented paragraph that actually was an indented paragraph. I have been working on this post most of this morning and this evening and night. So I shall, God help me, give up and hope you can read the correct order of the words without it messing up their hilarity. yeah.  I think I found it.

      Admission. I  joined a single's site one or two years after they first appeared on-line,  when the world wide web was but a baby. Actually I hadn't really been aware of it but heard about it, from my cousin.  At his suggestion I bought a computer that could connect onto the internet. Whatever the hell that was.

        As for dates,  I had several, hmm ,interesting ones, (I shall write about those later) and thankfully, one good date. Yes, I met my husband on- line.  The site we met on, no longer exists.  They were probably successful and ran out of clientele.

    This prologue  is for me to  write pretend ads.

    I haven't had much time to think this through so the first ones that came to me last night were filtered through my professional mind, and I certainly mean no disrespect to the men or women who are emotionally challenged.  I not only worked with them, I have been one as well.

      Pardon my bias.  In my fiction, women  seem to be more honest, but nuts. Men, are well, men. And I honestly have trouble thinking like a man.

    I have been told by some men that the trouble with women, ( well one of the troubles)  is that females  believe men are complex. The alleged reality is, that men are simple and don't think about things the way women do. Therefore, we females are confusing ourselves by cogitating that males are more complicated than they are. If you understood that, you probably have estrogen running through your veins. Or used to.

   Female Ads:

        S*WF:  (S* stands for schizophrenic), looking for two Single males.  He/they must like

                    having several  conversations at once and not being able to follow any of

                    them.  

                   Example:  "Do you want spinach in your salad or nuts on the bar-b-q lid or

                    maybe  the rotting senator with the bald head or the baby should sit with us &

                    the TV is listening in so we should put on our cones of silence or they will

                    sell our meal plans to the Martians."  "Yes Dear."  This is always a good

                    response depending on your tone of voice.

                    You should not mind slightly overdone makeup and  unusual hair and should

                    know the dance called " the shuffle" for  when I'm on my meds. 

                    When NOT on my meds our dance will be either boogie wildly or

                    hold  one pose for six hours.  When I know you are who you say you are I

                    will find you.

       SWF:   Looking for one depressed man and one manic one. I am a woman who has her

                  ups and downs and since they can be severe at times, you might want to be able

                  to tag team when the emotional roller coaster hits.  When depressed, you

                  should enjoy laying in bed for a few weeks, without sex.  The tissues are for

                  crying and wiping up tears. When  I'm flying high you should love adventure,

                  maxing out your credit card, doing it everywhere in front of and with everyone.

                  Clarification, not using the credit card, having  S-E-X .

                  You'd best contact me now ,as I'm in my happy phase and if you wait,  I  could

                  go into a funk,  and I won't answer your email. Think of all you'll miss.

        SWF:   I am agoraphobic. I haven't left my house in four years but I have a 60"

                    high def   television  and  all of the latest technology.

                    I am looking for an  M who delivers.

        Male Ads:

        WM:    I am currently separated from my wife and don't want to lie and use the word

                   single, which I will be soon.  I am looking for a woman who understands me 

                   unlike the beyatch I'm divorcing  and would love to help me raise my four boys

                   should I get partial custody. You should be between the ages of 19 and 40 and

                   attractive. 

                   Please, no children of your own. That would be complicated.

         SWM:   I am looking for SWF, under the age of 29, but legal.  You should be very

                      beautiful, preferably blonde, a size four, 5'5 to 5'8'  tall.  You are interested 

                      in me, sports, traveling and keeping your man satisfied. No children and no

                      former marriages.   No fatties or ugs please.  If you want to know more about

                      me respond to this ad.  I'll tell you everything when we meet. Photo a must.

         SWM:    I am a regular kind of guy. Nice looking and working at the same job for 8

                       Years. I'm in my 30's, and am looking for an attractive woman in her late 20's.

                       You should be employed. I do not know if I am looking for a serious

                       relationship, since I have never had one,  but you could be the one.

                       Not liking to talk about emotions a must.  Oh, I still live with my mother but

                        it's just until I can find someone who can cook.

           I really do feel sad for single people. Not that I don't feel sad for married people too. It's just that when you're single and wanting to be with someone you can forget that there are worse things than being alone.  And if you're married, to the wrong person, you too can forget that there are worse things than being alone. (that was the theory part. Did  I forget to mention that)?

                                 

 

 

 

 

 

        I believe in equal derision. Mostly.