| maybe it wouldn't' be so bad if they looked like him |
My husband and I are very lucky because we have dental coverage from my union. Up north I had used the same dental office for over 20 years. It was 10 minutes from my house, but parking sucked. Still. They were a good group and after having a few of the associates who often left, I complained and got the head of the practice. He made this guy in the picture look ugly. But that's not why I'm blogging this. You know me, my mind wanders. So, I'll go with it. He was one of those lucky people. Really handsome and smart and good with money. He kept the practice, but stopped working except a day or so a week. He told me he had always been interested in finance and made quite a bit in the market. He bought an apartment in Manhattan, and of course got divorced from the first wife. I don't think he remarried. I told you he was smart. I don't know how I know this much and no more deets, but I've digressed enough.
QUESTION - WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE FEAR GOING TO THE DENTIST?
I should be one of them. I am not a fan of having my mouth hang open for forty minutes and not being able to talk. I have been going to the dentist since I was 5 years old. Dr. Fried was my dentist until he retired when I was in my early 20's. Of course you young people might not remember when the dentist had one room and his wife was the nurse/receptionist. They did have x-rays back then, but it was several years before he could develop them himself. He used to have to send them out and you had to wait and come back. There really has been progress since then. However, if I must say, not enough to suit me or everyone else it would seem.
Also, I have always had a strong gag reflex. Dr. Fried's nickname for me was "Kid Vomit". enough said. I can still feel the pit in my stomach that I always felt in the waiting room.
What was your experience like? Do you remember? Back then, in order to go to school in NYC, your parents were required to bring in a signed dental and medical form. Somehow, no one back then thought it was an intrusion in their rights. How dare the authorities demand that children be taken care of?
I've known people who never went to the dentist. One reason was the cost. I totally get that. I didn't always have insurance.
I saw the dental assistants who took x-rays. I came back for my appointment with the dentist. He told me that I needed some work. This was in the mid 1970's, so don't quote me on the exact story. It was like this, as best I can remember. I needed two crowns, a root canal and several fillings. I'm not sure, but I believe he wanted about 2 or 3 thousand dollars. I probably gagged and his hand wasn't even in my mouth. I asked him if I could pay it out. He politely said he wasn't a bank or a credit company. I said good bye.
I called the replacement dentist in Brooklyn who had purchased Dr. Fried's practice. He took a look and concurred although I think there was one less crown or root canal. He wanted $800. That was still an astronomical amount. However, he let me pay him 50 bucks a month. It was certainly worth the schlep form the other side of Brooklyn. The point is, that I knew I had to do it. Even if it meant debt because I had one set of teeth and I was not going to lose them.
The other thing I still do not understand is..............
Who's brain child it was to consider dental care differently than medical care? Seriously, tooth aches are probably as painful as labor pains. Did someone think it was okay to yank out your own tooth, but not your baby?
I know. Sometimes my humor runs to the sick side.
Honestly. Why is there a difference? It's all part of the same system. We have accepted it for years, but I wonder if anyone else has pondered this disparity. Also, how do they continue to get away with it?
Anyway, it seems that people do not like dentists poking around in their mouths.
WHY DO WE LET OTHER DOCTORS PROBE US EVERYWHERE, BUT GET ALL GOOFY IF IT'S OUR MOUTHS?
I suppose, I should look this up. There is probably lots of research on dental phobias. But, since I only have and hour and a half before leaving, I'll leave that to you. That's your homework assignment should you choose to take it. If not, this post will self destruct in five seconds.
I'm thinking. And thinking some more. Okay. How about this.
For me, it's a bit harder to distance myself and my feelings when someone is in my head. Literally. I can pretend to be somewhere else when they are probing other regions. I tend to look at the ceiling. That's difficult to do with a face about 8 inches from yours. I have found that closing the eyes can be worse.
That's right. I remember a study about that. Closing your eyes makes you feel even less in control and the pain feels worse. So it's better, in the dentist's to the leave them open. Your eyes as well as your mouths. Do I have to spell it all out?
PAIN. FEAR OF PAIN. OH MY GOD HE HIT A NERVE PAIN.
Root canals. Everyone's favorite procedure. Except for me it would be the impressions they take with the gunk sliding down the back of my throat. ooooo. oo. gagging and more gagging.
Like Pavlovian dogs, we learn to avoid pain. And if we have had pain and had to go to the dentist for it, or while at the dentist, pain was caused, we learn very quickly to associate them as one, and voila. Fear of Dentists. We already fear pain. That's a given.
GOOD TEETH CLEANINGS CAN HURT.
I had a beautiful, wonderful hygienist in Queens. Again, I knew her very well. And she did a good job. I may not have sparkly teeth because of smoking and drinking coffee for too many of my younger years, but they were spanking clean when I left. She dug in to my gums and ouch. There was no plaque or anything that did not belong in my mouth.
The new girls I have now in West Palm don't think it's necessary to go quite that far, so I won't complain. It is less painful and hopefully it's enough to do the job. Still, that scraping. It sends Shivers down my spine. And This dentist is the only dentist anywhere near us who takes my insurance. We have no option unless we want to pay. We do have out of pocket, but it would be way more. So, we have drive an hour to get there and are happy it's not farther away.
MY HYPOTHESIS STATES THAT FEAR OF THE DENTIST IS LEARNED BY CONDITIONING:
As I mentioned earlier, we associate dentists with pain. We don't feel the same about most doctors because we see them at times when we are not in pain. And they usually don't cause any. Especially these days when they don't even touch us but still call it a physical.
AVOIDANCE - THE MOST COMMON RESPONSE:
So, how do most people deal with something they fear? If they can, they avoid it. Just like the dog who cowers in the corner when its brutal master comes home. Or you know your mother is going to notice you ate the cookies before dinner, so you stay out as late as you possibly can.
CONCLUSION:
You have nothing to fear but fear itself. Well, yeah, it may hurt, and it may cost a lot of money, but the avoidance? It doesn't work. Not with the dentist, nor any problem you should be facing. Genetics does play a role. If you were blessed with good teeth, you still need to keep them up. If you weren't, you really, really need to deal with them.
I am fortunate. I think I have good genetics. Only because my father's father had most of his teeth when he died at 89, and my dad did too. But he did go to the dentist. Come to think of it, my father's sister, had only two when she died at 87. She hated doctors and dentists. She thought they killed you. I don't know if she was right, but man, did she look bad. Maybe it's a combination like everything else.
Anyway, I've been going to dentists pretty much every three to six months my whole life. I still hate it. I've got crowns and a couple of bridges, but I can smile for the camera. I haven't tried bleaching. I may be vain, but I'm not a masochist. I only get what is needed when it comes to my mouth.
And so, do you really want to be such a pussy that you let your teeth rot? I hope not. Smiles are the sexiest part of us, and it would be a shame to ruin that because you're afraid.
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