SHORT STORY

 

About two years or so after my divorce, I was sitting in the teacher's room at work. My friend Ellen and her fiancée had just split up.

They had planned to go to Europe over the summer and she was bummed that she wouldn't be going.

I asked if she'd like to go somewhere with me. We talked about it and decided on Greece.

I was about 36 years old and hadn't been to Europe and being newly single, was hoping of course, that I'd meet someone.

 

The tour we took spent a few days in Athens, then took us on a four day cruise of the islands, and then back for a few more days in Athens.  I still remember that trip so fondly because I loved Greece. The ruins, the countryside, the history.

 

It was beautiful there. And the cruise, my first, was  the best.

 

So, did we meet any single men?

 

Believe it or not we did. Get this. I lived in Bayside, Queens, NY and my friend was in Great Neck, a couple of towns over. The two men were from NY and one of them lived in Bayside. There were people from all over the states, but the single ones were from where we lived. That was SOME coincidence.

Of course, nothing is perfect. The man from Bayside was a Priest, and his nice looking friend was gay. I'm sure he didn't tell us, but we kind of figured it out.

 

At least I had someone to dance with at night on the ship.  The Priest was a pretty good dancer. 

ALL THE LITTLE BIRDIES GO TWEET TWEET TWEET ROCKIN' ROBIN TWEET TWEET

I think I swore I'd never Tweet.

 

Wiki Definition.

 

Twitter (/ˈtwɪtər/) is an online social networking service that enables users to send and read short 140-character messages called "tweets".

 

Twitter was created in March 2006 by Jack Dorsey, Evan Williams, Biz Stone, and Noah Glass and launched in July 2006.

 

ME

 

It appears, according to these dates that I have managed to be in the dark about Twitter and tweeting for nearly 10 years.

 

As you know, better than I, the  little white bird is ubiquitous. I thought it was a symbol for peace.

 

Since I've recently begun blogging and now have a You Tube channel, I decided to bite the proverbial bullet and sign on to Twitter as well. 

 

WHY I WOULD DO SUCH A THING

 

Really, I only want followers for my blog.  (HINT HINT)  A friend told me about hashtags and how they help people find your posts on Instagram and Twitter and Blogs. 

 

I was ecstatic. Obviously it doesn't take much  to make me happy.  Now, all I have to do is find the right hashtag combinations and the world will be reading at my feet.

 

BUT FIRST, finding where to hashtag on the blog was my biggest challenge. I'm still not sure it's in the right place, but there didn't appear to be anywhere else.

AND

 

Does anyone know "the" hashtag key?  THE word, that will direct traffic to ME?

 

THE CURRENT ISSUES THAT WE unknowns  HAVE TO BATTLE:

 

All the good names are already taken. That isn't fair.   Brad Pitt, Superman, Tom Hanks etc. Just because you're famous doesn't mean you should have dibs on your name and fame.

 

Ashton Kutcher is to blame. Why couldn't he just make up a name and use that. I'm sure he has a private account for friends and family where he does that, but no, he had to use his real name and make it a contest for who could have the most followers.

I just realized that Twitter is like a popularity contest for people who are already popular and the winner gets more money when someone wants to hire them.

 

It's just like all those already rich and famous people to take away any opportunity from the average, normal individual. And also the not so ordinary  talented amazing, undiscovered individuals.

 

When Gertrude Stein said a "rose by any other name would smell as sweet"  she had no clue  what the future would bring.

 

Fro example. NAME RECOGNITION.  IT IS ALL POWERFUL.  If you have a nationally or world recognizable name, you can endorse products, win elections,  and even become a designer or inventor of things of which you have no knowledge.

 

I have nothing against Jessica Simpson. I applaud her comeback and ingenuity. However, she is now designing jewelry, clothing, shoes, handbags and probably things I don't know about.  Why do I care?  Because some extremely talented no name struggling designer  can't get work or noticed because industrialists don't want to take chances. They want a sure thing. Take someone with name recognition, have a designer you have work with them, and voila. Great product.

 

It seems that a site or two have sprung up to attempt to combat this. I assume Etsy started in order to help people who had beautiful art to sell, or share and couldn't find a venue because they DIDN'T HAVE NAME RECOGNITION.

 

As I see this site too, it too seems to have become so commercialized that you have to be especially savvy to be able to get ahead.   For an artist or artisan or author, that's a big deal.

 

WHAT IT IS THAT I WANT

 

I am not looking for fame, fortune or notoriety.  Maybe I'm over reaching in thinking that I have something to say that people can both learn from and enjoy.  I was able to do that when I was teaching at the University level. That made me feel good. So, do I want to feel good?

I do. About myself. I'm retired, although I do still work with people doing what I'll call mentoring. That's good, but not fulfilling in the way I want.

 

I WANT TO REACH PEOPLE AND TOUCH THEM

 

Emotionally, you gutter minded individuals. Okay. My mind is also in the gutter at times and I'm glad I learned to let it go there.

 

It may be hubris, but I really believe that by sharing my theories, stories and feelings, that I can help others feel less alienated and less alone.  And maybe, put a smile on those faces and make them think for the ten minutes it takes to read this.

Even if it means just getting out of their own heads for some time during the day, then, that's a good thing.   I heard somewhere that wandering around alone in your head wasn't safe. I accidentally typed sage. Totally as true.

 

 

In asking that universal question of "Why am I here?' the above reasons answer that question for me.   SO,

 

HOW DO I DO THAT?

 

perhaps by writing a blog? then,

 

HOW DO I GET PEOPLE TO FOLLOW MY BLOG?

OR EVEN NOTICE IT''S THERE?

 

TWEET #TWEET #TWEET. HASHTAG HASHTAG

#   #   #  VIDEOS ON YOU TUBE. NAME RECOGNITION.

 

 

I don't use my real name, which is probably wise.

 

theory?:

 

Life is hard. You want your presence to mean something. The things you want to accomplish are hard. You can't do it alone. You have to ask for help.

 

If you want something badly enough you have to work for it.

And if you are really narcissistic you will go to any lengths to be admired and known.

 

NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

 

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND my experiences in Singles Bars

As I have noted before, I have been married twice. When most people are meeting their mates in college, I was in a serious relationship which broke up during my junior year. That left me screwed.

Or it's just another rationalization for not being a Venus-Fly-Trap for men.

I hated to go to Single's Bars, Dances, or any function that was designed to meet other single people. 

I remember thinking it was just like a meat market and I didn't like the feeling of being inspected. 
What I didn't say or think, was the denial of my feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.  Some of which had been programmed by my first love. The rest, well you know, you had them too. Parents.

Looking back I can say that I didn't see myself as Grade A meat. More like something with maggots and if you got too close you'd see them. (I read to many novels that have dead bodies in them. Maggots?)

Therefore, I didn't go often and it wasn't fun. If I had been having fun, I probably would have met some normal people. As it was, I met people who were attracted to Maggots.

THE BAR AND DANCE SCENE IN THE 1980'S

I remember one time. It was at a very nice place on Long Island. While standing by the bar a guy started talking to me and my girlfriend. He introduced himself as Sharone. He pronounced it the way an Israeli woman pronounces the name Sharon, so I asked him about it. I was hoping for some kind of Israel connection. That maybe we'd have something in common to talk about. Dreamer.

He told me that he changed it, when he joined his group. I can't remember the name of the group, but we aren't talking about a rock band. That would have been cool or somewhere in the norm.  It was more like the "we're waiting for the comet to pick us up and take us away from earth" type group.  Okaaaay. My friend walked away and I stood listening to him while my eyes glazed over and I kept asking myself, "why me?".

It may have been the same night or another as they all blend into one memory. *(AD)  I need to look at this and see if I can't see these as funny. At this moment it's like I'm reliving them and not feeling good. That is RIDICULOUS. I have to learn to look back and laugh. These experiences are funny. end of digression.

There must  have been a full moon whenever I chanced to go out. That might have explained the abundance of moon men. AKA Lunatics.

It was a lovely spring evening and there was a garden outside. I left the bar and found a seat on a bench, by myself. Probably hoping and expecting to be by myself. But no. A man came over and sat down next to me.

The first thing he said was, "are my shoes alright for this place?" I looked at him, dressed really casz,(How the hell do you spell that short version that means casual?)  and I said, "sure", wondering what new Hell was about to begin.  He told me he was nervous because he hadn't been out for some time. [ I was wondering, out of the institution?]. He then  proceeded in his monologue.  His girlfriend had just dumped him. She was  so great and she was a biker and his mom didn't like her and he did and he was  really hurt, although they hadn't been together long, like a couple of weeks, but he knew that he had to go back out and find someone.............. and my mind started glazing over I wondered if I looked like a fashion consultant or had the word shrink stamped on my forehead.  I nodded and smiled and eventually got up and walked away.

AND FOR DESSERT

The last one I'll mention in this post, is John Travolta. I can still see him in my mind's eye.

We were sitting/standing, near the front of the dance bar. In struts a young man.
He is dressed in a black tuxedo with the bow tie pulled open. He appears to have come from an affair and is ready to get his groove on.

He is about 5' 1'. Pale skinned with frizzy blonde hair. Thankfully, it wasn't in an Afro.  Like me, he had an invisible stamp on his head. His read Nebbish. That would translate into Nerd who is not necessarily smart. Or maybe loser might be a fair translation. I know. Very judgey for someone with Maggots.

I hope for his sake that he was drunk. His entrance was notable. He was barely there a minute before he asks someone to dance. Raise your hand if you know who it is. You got it.  Maybe I was the shortest woman at the door. Who knows?

He lead me to the dance floor and proceeded to dance. I'm sure that I  mentioned that I love dancing. It is also something I am very good at. At least that part of going out was fun. Normally.

He danced with abandon. He looked like he was having muscle spasms and seizures. That would have been enough. But the very best part was when he did the move from Saturday Night Fever. Remember that classic film moment? John Travolta, on the mirrored dance floor. He stops for a moment and then he does it. So perfectly. So smoothly. If you don't know this classic and showy dance move, look it up on You Tube. It was an iconic moment in movie history.

 When my partner did it, other dancers on the floor could not help staring as he did that famous move.  And it was not because it was so Travolta. It was more like he looked like a tiny statue of Liberty, wearing a tux, pointing his noble arm to the sky, bringing it down and thrusting it back up. Not smoothly. Not rhythmically, just embarrassingly. It was at this point I finally asked  "Dear Lord, May I please become invisible right this moment?" "Dear Lord, WHY ME??????????????????"   Had I been listening I would have heard a question.

"In all these tales of woe, what is the common denominator?" The answer was
ME!!

I DID IT. I DID IT. NO ONE HAD THOUGHT I'D DO IT BUT INDEED I DID. thank you Lerner & Lowe

Ta Da!  I uploaded a video to my YouTube channel. At least I

suppose it's called a channel and if it isn't, Why not?

Anyway, I think it's called Dr. Glee.  Talk about short term memory loss. I didn't write it down so it's lost in the ethers.

I must say, that this was done for a Halloween dance 4 years ago. Not long after my first arthroscopy.  Actually, it's the only video I have that I can put up without permission from friends. I'll try that if anyone is interested.

Still. I am extremely embarrassed by and at my performance.  I am shocked that I would have the nerve to put it out there.

Shock me even more by watching in. And don't judge. (too harshly).
Until you've been in my ballet slippers, and Brooklyn, you don't know how it feels.

Thanks in advance.
Yours, as always,
Dr. G.

IF I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING, HOW DO I GET THERE?

I saved this a while back, because, well, it really says a lot.
I know so many people who don't think they know who they are. They don't know where they're going and worry about it a lot.

You all know that worry is like sitting in a rocking chair.  You keep moving, but you never go anywhere.

Years ago I heard Wayne Dyer say, " I wish I believed what I believe".  I then read it in a book that I think he may have borrowed it from.  It stuck with me, because I can really relate.

There are things I really believe. The one that makes no sense is that the Universe has and will always make sure I'm financially okay.
Not that I don't have leg work to do, but I know I'll be okay.

I have no idea where this came from. In my house, growing up, they believed in death and taxes.

I suppose, I can be grateful for that.  I used to envy people who were brought up with a faith or a belief system. I never knew that I could come to my own decisions and learn to believe in what made sense to me, not anyone else.

I believe in the law of attraction. Like attracts like. I believe in reincarnation, although that's one of those that fall into the I wish I believed parts. Those are the ones that challenge my faith and demand more of me.

I don't believe in mistakes. I believe in lessons. People say you should be doing God's will. I believe that whatever you do, is or becomes God's will.

Just like it says. If you don't know where you're going any road will take you there.

And as Popeye said so succinctly, " I yam what I yam". As am I.

I would very much like your company on this unknown road. So far, it's been an interesting trip. All I know is that I will keep on going.

The Sand Hill Crane's leaving my house after tea and crumpets.

ALL THE LIGHT YOU CANNOT SEE AND THE YOUNG ADULT NOVELS. WHAT'S THE DIFF?

I just finished reading All the Light You Cannot See.  It was incredibly well written with a compelling story. I love reading. Even when the stories make me cry, and not in a good way.

My husband read it a while ago and said it was uplifting and he loved it.

It wasn't uplifting at all for me. Perhaps it just reinforced my fears about the nature of humans.

 

A while back, I read The Book Thief.  To me they were quite similar.

World War II tales, not from the American viewpoint.

Both about young adults growing up during this awful era.

 

I didn't know that The Book Thief was a YA novel. I finished it and was curious that the two main adolescents never consummated their relationship. Not even close.  Then I found out why.

Not in a YA.

 

The same could be said of All the Light.  There was no sex except for a short rape that was quietly described.

 

In that sense, it could have been a YA.

 

Most of the novels I read have adult relationships in them. I suppose that has to do with my choices. And no, I'm not counting the Romance and Erotica novels that have sprouted up like unruly weeds since 50 shades.

 

It has made me think.

 

Most of the young adults I know or have known in the past 20 years are having more sex than I was even aware of at their age.

I'm really talking about teens who I suppose are like young adults?

 

In any event, why is it that the novels they write have love and unconsummated relationships when in the non-fiction world they are screwing like indiscriminate bunnies?

 

Who then is reading this fiction? And I do mean fiction?

The books are great. I've taken to reading them too.

 

Theory?

 

Books are categorized by what we would like them to be. Not what they really are.

 

it seems very much like the history books. The winner writes the story as they want it to be told.

 

Perhaps we think, if we see it in print it's real and true. The world the way we want it. Not the way it is.

 

 



YAY. I NOW HAVE TWO URLS. CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THAT MEANS EXACTLY AND WHAT I CAN DO WITH THEM? ON THEM?

It's another beautiful day in the neighborhood. Except it's only 46 degrees and I'm in southern Florida.

This was me as the Elder Black Swan.

Anyway. google gave me a YouTube url and a google url.

I hope that doesn't mean that the address for my blog doesn't exist anymore. I finally wrote it down because I think it too, is a URL.

My name on both, is DrGlee.  For those of you who actually know me, or have read my posts will get a kick out of that.

I did watch Glee but gleeful is not usually the adjective that most people would use to describe me. Of course it depends on how you know me. Different attitudes in different situations and places.

So, back to the question at hand.

I went to my YouTube and of course there was nothing there. it's virgin territory.

It looks as though I should be able to upload videos. Is there a particular format I need? Will my iPhone and iPad videos work?

I had a friend make a video of me [ the Elder Black Swan]  some Halloweens back, but the format was incompatible. I had wanted to put in on You Tube but couldn't.  I was able to play it on my computer. However, It wouldn't copy to any where, and it wouldn't upload. As usual. I am incompatible with others.  I  have the disc somewhere.  Maybe I'll film it while it's on the computer. If I do, I'll post it, even though it is truly humiliating and embarrassing.

So. HELP

ATM'S AND GAS PUMPS ARE THE EASIEST TARGET FOR SKIMMERS. HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? aka The Skimming Scammers

Last night my husband sent me a local news alert on credit card skimming at ATM's and Gas Pumps.

I posted it to Facebook because I think it's something we all need to be aware of.

I watched it, and found  SOMETHING odd.  October was the time that all banks had to send us money, the money  spenders chip cards to prevent fraud. The banks sent cards so now we should feel more secure because the information on them is hard to steal. They sent cards, but didn't change their own machinery.

 EXCEPT:

Certain merchants still don't have the readers because they are usually very large companies and it takes time and money for the conversion. Okay, we all understand.

I looked on line for information related to this, but mostly, the searches brought up self congratulatory information from the banks patting themselves on their backs for sending out their new cards.

What I found was, that if the merchant didn't upgrade, they became partially responsible for any loss that might get caught. The banks would be sharing the liability. They used to be completely responsible.  Hmm. So the bank sends you a chip card and they are partly off the hook?

The reason I watched the video was because it hit too close to home. Literally.
The bank branch the thieves actually targeted was the one I use. Great. They  used the front door. Who would even think of the entrance as being compromised?  Not little old me.

I'll try to attach at link at the end so you can watch the details.  There are also some U tube vids on the subject. Please educate yourself and loved ones.

Since merchants aren't  the easiest targets, anymore, the thieves are now attacking mostly ATMs and Gas Station Pumps.

Why don't they  (banks and oil companies) have to put in chip technology? I couldn't find anything legal about them having to change. Maybe they do and I couldn't find it. Maybe they don't, and if not, why?

I find it odd that the two industries that make it possible for you to be ripped off are banking and oil. Two of the wealthiest industries in the world. Well, maybe not odd. Not even surprising actually.

Shouldn't they have the money to protect us? The desire? It makes little sense.

I also found out that the Secret Service is involved in trying to catch the skimming scammers.

The only thing I found out was that if you check your statements regularly and find a charge that's not yours, and file a dispute within 60 days you have a chance at getting your money back. I was just thinking. What if they steal your information and wait five months? Does that make a difference? Harder to track down? Too damned many questions for which I have no information.

Although the video shows ways to check the ATMS, the gas pump skimming technology is harder to find.

POSSIBLE THEORIES:

1.  They don't give a shit about us, the consumer.  That's not a theory. It's a fact.

2.   The banks are making more money off of this. Someone steals your data, you don't catch it. You are out of time and luck.
3.   You catch it within 60 days, but the merchant is now partly responsible. The bank pays less. The bank makes more.

4.   You don't catch it, or  even if you do, during the investigation the bank is paid for the transaction on its credit card. The bank makes money during that time. Banks make interest even if we don't. They  also don't care if you spent it, or a Russian Nigerian cross dresser.

5.  It's bad enough we have to pump our own gas. Of course that became risky because the attendant took your card. That is a no-no now.  The only way to be sure we aren't getting skimmed and scammed is to walk to the inside of the station and pay there, with chip or cash. Hmmm. How lazy am I?  Do I want to get in line while someone orders a burrito? Hell no. I want fast, so I'll gamble. And I've never done that before. I don't know how. Do I leave my car at the pump and go inside and say? What? What do I say? If I fill it up, how will they know how to charge? Do I have to go back inside again?


The Big One

  Somehow, the banks and the oil companies have pulled off their own big scam. We are going to pay and they are not. They will increase their profits and we will lose eve more or our hard earned money.

   Let's face it. The cards are stacked against us.

POSSIBLE SOLUITION

  Start sending emails to banks and major gas stations complaining about the lack of security and demanding chips technology at those weak link points.  See what they say. I'm going to do it and see what type of response I get. Public pressure from millions of people may help us. So, even if you don't ask people to read the blog or post, inform your friends. And write letters.  It's your money.  It's my money.  It's your uncles who you stand to inherit from if there's anything left.  Not theirs and we need to take a stand. Now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzopT8aqSEY        



I'll check to see if it plays. It doesn't. You'll have to copy and paste. I don't know why, but it's better than getting ripped off.  Good luck soldiers.

Why do computer printers get wonky, even long after they've been set up and working???????? if you listen, you'll hear me SCREAMM !!

Just a string of symbols for expletives won't cut it.  So, God Damn Fuck Shit.

My accountant is coming Monday and there is only one more document I need.

From my bank. I, just over an hour ago, went on line and found it is now ready and I downloaded it.  YAY. I won't have to cancel the appointment.

 Much to my dismay,  when I hit print, I got nothing. No sound of the machine warming up, no annoying pings, no drawer slowly inching its way out.  Initially, not even an error message.

For some reason, Adobe Reader hasn't been my friend lately. I think that may be due to having Windows 10 on one search engine and not on the other that I use most of the time. Of course, I know nothing much about technology so it's not a shock that things don't work. And what Ijust wrote may be complete nonsense with me using words that I hear about computers, but using them incorrectly.

So, I tried in the "engine "that uses Windows 10. No luck there either, in printing.  Except that I did finally get an error message that I've never seen before. A weird message about Acrobat not being able to read *a something about the statement.* I have no idea what they were writing about.  It had letters and all sorts of things I couldn't comprehend. There was a place on the page that asked if I wanted to convert the file. Of course I couldn't find the "file" they wanted to convert. I kept trying. It kept asking. Then,
it wouldn't let me convert from Acrobat to PDF,  which I thought was the same. Or at least I think that it,..... Actually I'm not even going to bother to finish this sentence. I'm clueless.  Possibly Adobe knows I'm Jewish and that I don't really want to convert.

Anyway. I kept trying. I even put in new Black ink, which I almost needed, but I was waiting until the paper came out striped. *(AD) If you put ink in every time they tell you it's low, you are losing about 1/3rd to 1/4th of the ink you have left. Bunch of robbers.

For some reason, although my Epson printer isn't on a network, I believe it thinks it is because it's wireless,  and I have about 4 different options to choose from to set as my default printer, even though there is only one printer.  What the hell is that about?  * Advice from me to you.   Don't call Epson for  help.

The child who helped me last time, had me uninstall and reinstall it a year ago and that did not help and  he couldn't understand why. That gave me a lot of confidence in them. At least he spoke English.

I don't remember how I worked it out, so it worked, but it did. ( I may have had a computer tech come in then. I don't remember). 

I will no longer call or email for help. What they do is pour water on the drowning.

This goes for most sites that now, for help, give you a list of possible things you can do, and they are never ever what I am looking for. Then, they ask if it helped. I hit no. They ask why. They never get back to me. I assume this would be much the same as writing a letter to Santa, the Easter Bunny or someone who is dead.

Lastly, I went to the control panel and chose the same network that has been working for the last few months. I reset my Wi-Fi password.

You got it. I didn't get it. Nothing, nada, zilch. No printing. Only the same old error message that at least I was familiar with. 

Then I remembered, "When all else fails, pull the plug".  So I rebooted.  As the computer roared to life, so did the printer. At the same fucking time. I hadn't even logged in and it was spitting out one, no two copies of what it absolutely refused to do before.
 Thankfully I was able to cancel  more copies or I would now have 7 of them.


MY THEORIES as I have several of them:

• Printers are stupid and although I said that stupid could be fixed, I was obviously wrong when it comes to machines.
• The manufacturer's build in defects to drive us crazy so after a while, even though the printer isn't all that old, we can't stand looking at it and buy a new one. Usually, just after you have purchased a complete set of ink cartridges at over $90.
• Printers have defective memories, like mine. They can only remember things from the past, so current information is considered an error.
• My personal electronic energy field messes with all types of electronic devices. When something electronic stops working, if I leave and my energy field follows, it will work for the next person who uses it.
• Seriously. There are days when I really can't take it. I know that life doesn't go smoothly and I am blessed in many ways. However, I believe that time is a precious commodity that shouldn't have to be wasted on fixing what should always be working.  THAT'S IT! I'M DONE. 

 

 

WHY IS OUR HAIR SO LINKED TO OUR SELF ESTEEM AND SEX?????

 

 

 

Kama Sutra Look at all that long lovely hair.

 

 

 I had my hair straightened today, well, now it was yesterday, for the first time in 8 or 9 years. Instead of going through that expensive, time lengthy, bore me to tears, treatment, I've been flat ironing my hair instead.  It works nicely.  Well, maybe except in Florida.  It kinda limits has some  limits.

If I do anything outside in the humidity or rain, it poufs out and or frizzes and ripples.  If I go into the pool for a dip, I have to wrap my hair around my head like a Sikh would  his turban.

Ridiculous. I know. That, however, seems to have become the adjective I've adopted for me and my theories.

Don't laugh. I'd rather be ridiculous than redundant,  or redonculous. That's not a real word, [at least not one in my old dictionaries,] but I like how it sounds. I also don't mind being recumbent.

 

I have been distressed about my hair since I was 12.  The styles then, were bouffant, but you still needed straight hair for it to stay nice and look right. Of course, thin straight hair probably wasn't so hot either, but I don't think at that age I had a whole lot of empathy for straight haired girls. Or anyone for that matter.  I learned to deal with it. Not well, but back then, I didn't have much choice.  *(AD) I did a home hair straightening at around age 17. It looked great for a day. Then I washed it and it was like someone had poured a bottle of glue on my head.  Hello short hair. It grew back.  Then I used to blow dry it with the contraptions we had then, that had a hose and a shower cap bonnet> I would dry my hair while it was wrapped around my head with two ginormous rollers as anchors at the top. Since my hair was thick, I had to repeat this procedure  in the other direction. This process took about three hours.

  Every day,  before leaving for school, I would dial the weather on the phone to check the humidity. If it was humid, I would wear a hat and tuck my hair under my coat or jacket. I was 16 and very insecure. Surprise! Thinking on it now, it may have been a coping mechanism due to the loss of my sister and my parent's marriage falling apart. And that too, is another story for another day.

 

 

More Current History

 

It was watching the Oprah show, that I first learned about the art of Japanese hair straightening.  OMG!   I was so psyched I couldn't contain my joy.  Unfortunately I had to. My hair was fairly short and I  had to wait several  really long months to grow my hair enough so it could be straightened.  But I did it. I even went for two consultations with places in Manhattan that Oprah had mentioned. I think I felt quite "chic" going to Oprah's actual suggestions.

And then I had it done. That, was a nightmare, but the results were worth it.

It felt weird at first. Seeing myself  with a smooth head. I felt shorter. It looked like something was missing. However,

I got used to it  and haven't been a frizz head since. I've either had it straightened or worn is super short, or ironed it.

 

LESS CURRENT HISTORY

 

When I was 15 the only way you could iron your hair was if you had an iron, an ironing board and a willing friend. It was rather dangerous, painful and not so effective. So I gave that up.

Me at age 14 and 18.

An Aside:

 

I also have flat feet. It's kind of related. I couldn't get comfortable high heels and got back problems and bunions from pronating. High heels are sexy, like hair.

 

FLIGHT OF FANCY

 

A few years ago, in this age of miracles, I began to wonder: how different would my life have been,had I had my mother's beautiful thick, straight hair and her high arches instead of dad's waves and flat feet.

 

 

Dad is on the bottom left, Mom is on the top right. Of course her hair was permed.

I  tried to believe that I would have had much more self esteem and so therefore my life would have been so much better.  I told you before I could be shallow. Given the skills my parents had, though,  I still would have felt like road kill regardless, but fantasies offer a taste of what could have been. In looking at this fantasy, I realized that I certainly was not alone with my concerns about my hair.

 

And so I began to think about how EVERYONE seems to have  concerns.

 

 

THE QUESTION: WHY AND HOW LONG HAVE HUMANS BEEN OBSESSED ABOUT THEIR APPEARANCES, ESPECIALLY WITH THEIR HAIR?????

 

From Wiki 

 

Throughout times, people have worn their hair in a wide variety of styles, largely determined by the fashions of the culture they live in. Hairstyles are markers and signifiers of social class, age, marital status, racial identification, political beliefs, and attitudes about gender.
In many cultures, often for religious reasons, women's hair is covered while in public, and in some, such as Haredi Judaism or European Orthodox communities, women's hair is shaved or cut very short, and covered with wigs.^[3] Only since the end of World War I have women begun to wear their hair short and in fairly natural styles.^[4]

The Venus of Brassempouy

Paleolithic

The oldest known reproduction of hair braiding lies back about 30,000 years: the Venus of Willendorf, now known in academia as the Woman of Willendorf, of a female figurine from the Paleolithic, estimated to have been made between about 28,000 and 25,000 BCE.^[5] The Venus of Brassempouy counts about 25,000 years old and indisputably shows hairstyling.
In Bronze Age razors were known and in use by some men, but not on a daily basis since the procedure was rather unpleasant and required resharpening of the tool which reduced its endurance.^[6]

Ancient history

In ancient civilizations, women's hair was often elaborately and carefully dressed in special ways. Women coloured their hair, curled it, and pinned it up (ponytail) in a variety of ways. They set their hair in waves and curls using wet clay, which they dried in the sun and then combed out, or else by using a jelly made of quince seeds soaked in water, or curling tongs and curling irons of various kinds.^[7][8]


So, we crazy beings have been doing our do's since time began. Pretty interesting if you ask me. Even if you didn't ask me. How would I know? You never write, you never call, you never comment. Therefore, you'll get what I want until you let me know what you want.

^{I just looked up the words hair and sex. I will only say that there did not appear to be any scholarly research on the subject.  There was mention of body hair which I will only touch upon , (or not) in trying to understand its evolutionary need. Things that didn't help us survive were shed along the way.  From what it looks like, a lot of that was full body hair. At least for most men. I'm not sure if I'll be able to find any research on this subject. If not. I'll just make it up. Using my extensive knowledge of psychology, people and bullshitting.}

 

              WIKI AGAIN

A special case of natural selection is sexual selection, which is selection for any trait that increases mating success by increasing the attractiveness of  potential mates.^[124] Traits that evolved through sexual selection are particularly prominent among males of several animal species. Although sexually favored, traits such as cumbersome antlers, mating calls, large body size and bright colors often attract predation, which compromises the survival , this survival disadvantage is balanced by higher reproductive success in males that show these hard-to-fake, sexually selected traits. 

 *  me, not Wiki.   Hard to fake. I like that. Wigs, comb overs, liposuction, penis extensions, face work.  No wonder we're producing so many individuals who could not actually survive on their own. Example. Man, aged 38, still living at mom's. Enough said.
Hmm..... They seemed to focus on the attractiveness of males. And, if you remember your biology, males of all other species are the more colorful and attractive of the two sexes.  It's only in humans that things got reversed.  Why did that flip?  Is it possible that  this is what happens to the species who has can think and has opposable thumbs.  Which you really, really need if you're combing or braiding your hair.


WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS MEAN OR HAVE TO DO WITH THE PRICE OF EGGS?

^{Nice pun and idiom. I'm patting myself on the back but you can't see me.}

 

 

^{America was built on Puritanical principles. Although we went through the sexual revolution in the 60's and 70's, I am old enough to be clueless about today's youth culture and their actual practices and attitudes about sex and reproduction. However, they still seem to be quite keen on hair.}

 

^{"I'm having a bad hair day"}

^{Given what you've just read, you might now understand why this is really an important, statement and not just some flippant remark.}

 

^{ACTUAL FACT}

^{I don't know if you realize that the first thing an individual notices about someone they meet, or see, is their gender. Not race which you might think would be first. Not even age.  It seem to register, almost unconsciously.}

 

^{It seems that we need to know how to classify this individual by their sex.}

^{This appears to be instinctive.}

 

^{Back to evolution and survival. I'm a cave man. I see you across the horizon. Are you friend or foe? I must know if I am to get out of this situation alive. Can I tell from the distance? I suppose if you are hairy all over and have facial hair and head hair, I better gear up.}

 

  ^{Hair, Dok*, stick with hair. I seem to have digressed upon the Serengeti.}

 

 ^{Hair is a symbol of virility and sexuality.}

^{Way back when, when I would have been decorating an actual cave, not just a man cave,  we were probably lucky to live to  be 20 or 25. Hair was therefore vital to passing down one's jeans. No, I meant  genes.  oops. I mean in having children before you died. That is of course assuming you can't have children after you've died. Well, you can now, but you couldn't then. Unless those ice age people were smarter than we thought.  As you can see. I can't stay on topic for long.}

^{Attraction to the opposite sex was vital. And apparently still is. (That is kind of funny. Like it never stopped being vital.)} 

 ^{Our hair was probably one  of the ways to tell whether we had a disease or were in someway not a good choice to pass on our genetic code.   *(AD)  {Not that that was what the man was thinking. Not consciously.  He was still like probably, ooh, there goes a piece of meat. I'd like to  give it to her.  Let me club her on the head and see if she puts up a fight. }}

 ^{Like glowing skin ( not from radiation) or uneven features or things that made us look different from everyone else.}

 

^{Listen  and look at the commercials. "Your hair will look healthy and full and  feel silky  and glow and bla bla bla."}

 

^{For men, balding is the ultimate enemy. I'm not sure why curly and/or frizzy hair is "unsexy" on men, or when bald, but not balding, became a turn on for women.}

^{Obviously there were cultural factors long ago that have changed.}

^Alas,

^{No matter how old we get, we still think of ourselves in such a way as to want to be seen as attractive, if not sexy.}

^{Hair seems to be the crowning glory of that symbol.}

^{The hairstyles change over the millennia. But the fact remains, that hair still rules.}

^{*Dok is how I spell Doc.}

 

^{PS.  I was born in 1949.  If I was being reincarnated , I did not take the future into account. Wavy hair was in and if that's why I chose it, I hope I learned from my selection.  If we are allowed a glimpse of the possible futures,  next time around, I'll pay more attention to hair and feet.  Please don't judge me.}

I could still fit in my dress, 16 years later. It was Halloween.

^{PPS  Here are two pix of the straightened hair. It looks shorter than I thought it was. Oh well. It's hanging.... straight.}

would you believe, I posted the pss and forgot to post the pictures? Yeah. I'd rather not believe it either.