FREEDOM TO CHOOSE "BLESSING OR CURSE or IS CHOOSING A DOG HARDER THAN CHOOSING A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE? DECISIONS ARE HARD. YOU MAKE ONE, BUT WHAT IF IT SUCKS?

This was never meant to be a political post. And it wasn't. I mean choosing a dog is a very personal decision. And, you don't need a primary or caucuses to get to a place where you have a few possible candidates to either buy or adopt.

Actually, it is sounding like the same thing the more I think about it. Shit. Why can't anything be easy?

I absolutely believe in freedom to choose. Pretty much, everything we really do is our own choice. Even if it's not to make a choice.

My problem is when there are too many choices and I get overwhelmed.
I was not overwhelmed in my choices of who to marry. I guess I'm really, really grateful for that. My high school grades weren't that good, so I didn't have many choices of where to go to college. That too is another tale which will be told by the idiot who made those poor choices back then, but not now.

You usually are constrained by some factors when choosing. Some are financial. Money always plays into your choice, like can you afford to do or buy what you think you want? Time. Have you got a time frame, or one  you must meet? Like you'll be homeless if you don't find a house or an apartment? Or your eggs will slowly decay and that's not a nice thought.

Preferences are big. What is your taste? What do you like? Do you know why you like it?

Chloe helping dad

In my case, physical issues come to play. Allergies, infirmities, age, all play a role in the decision process.

the dog I didn't get

Also, if you are anything like me, you've been told that you think too much. Like that's a BAD thing.

I am now back. You didn't even know I was gone. 14 hours later. I've lost the flow.
The day really sucked, but, sometimes it does.

So, back to choice. I want a dog. I want the love, the companionship, the fluff, the special bond. I don't want to have to walk it in the rain, clean it's butt (non-allergic dogs are generally white), clean up when it has accidents. Take it to the vet when it's sick and then, lose it. Although, if I were to get a puppy there is a chance it could outlive me. Then what?  That's how we got our Benny. His very old master died and no one in the family wanted him.

Benny at Christmas

And of course, my husband. He wants to wait and not get a dog as small as Chloe. Maybe bigger than Benny. But my allergies, and my heart. That's what I want. I think.

We were very lucky. Chloe was not at all yappy. She was really well house trained. She was a bit aloof and so in ways she was like a cat.
Benny only yelped if you hurt him. Otherwise, no peep. He either couldn't or wouldn't bark.

What if we get a yapper? Or a bad personality? I always said I was lucky with Chloe. I couldn't claim responsibility for her good temper. Just that I hadn't ruined it.

And now for the politics. It might be simpler if we did a Westminster Dog Show for the candidates.  Have someone put each one on a leash and walk then around the ring with the announcer talking about their breeding, pedigrees and so forth. I'd especially like to see when they get lifted on the table by their balls. Hillary would have a one up on that at least.

I mean, really. Where did these candidates come from?  Did they fall out of the sky? Land on their heads? I have lived through many elections where I felt it was the lesser of two evils. But now, it is likely to be the lesser of two weasels.

I like Hilary. Don't crucify me. I'm a woman. I'm practical. I believe that anyone who has made it anywhere it the political arena is a liar and a cheat. I think it's a joke that each one calls the other one names and gets offended when it gets hurled back.

So, a puppy or a rescue? It has to be a rescue, but do I have patience to deal with whatever issues it will have? Probably.

Can't we pick a rescue for President? Someone who's been misused and would appreciate the love and support they'd never known.?

I know. I'm being ridiculous. Oh yeah. That's my name. No matter.

THEORY:
   When people are given too few or too many options, they cannot make a choice.
   This is because people are easily overwhelmed. We were not created to make these kinds of decisions. Survival meant knowing what was edible and what was not. Who was friendly and who was not. One mistake and you learned what the proper choice was.
   I again cite human evolution being far behind the evolution of man. We are going to think ourselves out of existence. Unless, of course, I'm thinking about things in the wrong way.

 

THAT'S ALL FOLKS

blind date I don't know what number and it's a tie in with the story I'm in the midst of. so this is part 2.5

It's amazing how many memories are stored and get triggered once you start down the trip of memory land. That was a typo, but I kinda liked it.

Two years prior to my visit with Dot, I had gone down to Florida to spend a week with an Israeli couple who had moved from NY.  They were also in Boca, but not yet so fancy shmancy.

What a completely opposite type of trip. They took me all over, fed me gave me their daughter's room and wouldn't let me put a hand in my pocket. Really dear, dear people.

They had American friends who had also just moved down as well. Into the Boca Polo Club I believe it was called. It was arranged to have dinner with them and a friend who was staying for the week end who they also had know in NY. At this time he was living south of Miami.

It wasn't exactly a blind date, but we were the two single people out with two married couples. As it happened, we liked each other a lot.  His brother-in-law was the head of a department of school psychologists on Long Island and we knew some of the same people. I was a good person and didn't tell him the rumor about his sister's husband having an affair. Not my place, but it's a small world.

We went back to the friends house after dinner and hung out in the pool. My poor friends were exhausted and wanted to leave, so Rich and I had to say good bye. He was staying over night but, well, we'd just met.

We got back to the house and the phone rang. It was two am. It was Rich on his friends mobile. His friend's had a condo that was empty and he invited me to spend the night. I wasn't going to but my friend's said I should go for it. So, I did.  He picked me up and we spent the night.

YOU KNOW WOMEN. ALWAYS EXPECTING A DATE TO END IN A WEDDING.

The next day we went back to his friends and hung out in the pool.  He was kind of aloof and I didn't quite know what to make of it.

I finally called my friends to pick me up and I left.

Rich called and we spoke a few times and he invited me down for the Jewish New Year which fell on a week end. I was pretty excited.

Long story short. He was fricking Jekyll and Hyde.  The first night was great. The morning not so good and he dropped me at the pool so he could work out.
We went to dinner at my friends, and the next day was fine, as was the evening. Then in the morning he was all cool and somewhere else. It was so bad I asked him to take me to the airport early because I'd rather sit at the airport than be with him.

Of course I was so disappointed. I'm sure I asked my friend to talk to his friends but whatever was said is not in the land of memory. It was something really banal, that I'm sure.

I bet you don't know that I love to read greeting cards.  When I have the time I want to find the right one. I was in a store and I have no idea what section I found this card in, but it was so perfect. I had to send it to Rich.

       It's late and I don't feel like drawing, so I'll use my words.

          On the front of the card is a woman at a bar with some males buzzing around her. The are all cartoonish characters.

She's looking at her drink and says to no one in particular

"I should have been a proctologist".

 

You open the card and inside she finishes by saying

"I meet so many assholes".

 

I sent the card but didn't sign it.

 

 

Where does this fit in the tale of choice? When I was visiting Dot, we and another friend of hers went to a singles bar in Fort Lauderdale.

 

We were sitting at a table, but I got up to go to the bar to get a drink. I'm standing and waiting and a guy I don't know comes over to me and says, "I bet you're a psychologist. And your name is Gee."  I'm, like and how do you know that?  And he points down to the end of the bar and there, in all his glory is Rich. And let me tell you, it was Rich.   

He walked over to me and asked how I was. I was floored. I think I asked him if he got my card. He asked why I didn't sign it and I said, "and yet you knew who it was from".  So, stupidly, I asked him what his problem was. And he said it was a long time ago and he didn't remember.

Yeah. We human idiots always want closure.

 

I've learned as a shrink, that the only closure you can get is when you yourself take it. Whatever the other person's reason. It will never make a difference. We have this need to know.  Like if someone tells us why he didn't like us, we can fix it and we'll be okay for the next one. We know that isn't real, but we keep on asking.

 

THEORY

 

We want to believe that if someone hurts us, there is a real, plausible reason. That way we can have some control over our lives. But the truth is, it's not true.

No matter what we are told, we will still hurt. If the person lies we don't learn, if they tell the truth, we don't learn. The only one we can learn from is our self.

So the next time you get burned, don't ask why the person lit the match. Ask why you put your hand in it.

 

THE END OF THIS PART