blind date I don't know what number and it's a tie in with the story I'm in the midst of. so this is part 2.5

It's amazing how many memories are stored and get triggered once you start down the trip of memory land. That was a typo, but I kinda liked it.

Two years prior to my visit with Dot, I had gone down to Florida to spend a week with an Israeli couple who had moved from NY.  They were also in Boca, but not yet so fancy shmancy.

What a completely opposite type of trip. They took me all over, fed me gave me their daughter's room and wouldn't let me put a hand in my pocket. Really dear, dear people.

They had American friends who had also just moved down as well. Into the Boca Polo Club I believe it was called. It was arranged to have dinner with them and a friend who was staying for the week end who they also had know in NY. At this time he was living south of Miami.

It wasn't exactly a blind date, but we were the two single people out with two married couples. As it happened, we liked each other a lot.  His brother-in-law was the head of a department of school psychologists on Long Island and we knew some of the same people. I was a good person and didn't tell him the rumor about his sister's husband having an affair. Not my place, but it's a small world.

We went back to the friends house after dinner and hung out in the pool. My poor friends were exhausted and wanted to leave, so Rich and I had to say good bye. He was staying over night but, well, we'd just met.

We got back to the house and the phone rang. It was two am. It was Rich on his friends mobile. His friend's had a condo that was empty and he invited me to spend the night. I wasn't going to but my friend's said I should go for it. So, I did.  He picked me up and we spent the night.

YOU KNOW WOMEN. ALWAYS EXPECTING A DATE TO END IN A WEDDING.

The next day we went back to his friends and hung out in the pool.  He was kind of aloof and I didn't quite know what to make of it.

I finally called my friends to pick me up and I left.

Rich called and we spoke a few times and he invited me down for the Jewish New Year which fell on a week end. I was pretty excited.

Long story short. He was fricking Jekyll and Hyde.  The first night was great. The morning not so good and he dropped me at the pool so he could work out.
We went to dinner at my friends, and the next day was fine, as was the evening. Then in the morning he was all cool and somewhere else. It was so bad I asked him to take me to the airport early because I'd rather sit at the airport than be with him.

Of course I was so disappointed. I'm sure I asked my friend to talk to his friends but whatever was said is not in the land of memory. It was something really banal, that I'm sure.

I bet you don't know that I love to read greeting cards.  When I have the time I want to find the right one. I was in a store and I have no idea what section I found this card in, but it was so perfect. I had to send it to Rich.

       It's late and I don't feel like drawing, so I'll use my words.

          On the front of the card is a woman at a bar with some males buzzing around her. The are all cartoonish characters.

She's looking at her drink and says to no one in particular

"I should have been a proctologist".

 

You open the card and inside she finishes by saying

"I meet so many assholes".

 

I sent the card but didn't sign it.

 

 

Where does this fit in the tale of choice? When I was visiting Dot, we and another friend of hers went to a singles bar in Fort Lauderdale.

 

We were sitting at a table, but I got up to go to the bar to get a drink. I'm standing and waiting and a guy I don't know comes over to me and says, "I bet you're a psychologist. And your name is Gee."  I'm, like and how do you know that?  And he points down to the end of the bar and there, in all his glory is Rich. And let me tell you, it was Rich.   

He walked over to me and asked how I was. I was floored. I think I asked him if he got my card. He asked why I didn't sign it and I said, "and yet you knew who it was from".  So, stupidly, I asked him what his problem was. And he said it was a long time ago and he didn't remember.

Yeah. We human idiots always want closure.

 

I've learned as a shrink, that the only closure you can get is when you yourself take it. Whatever the other person's reason. It will never make a difference. We have this need to know.  Like if someone tells us why he didn't like us, we can fix it and we'll be okay for the next one. We know that isn't real, but we keep on asking.

 

THEORY

 

We want to believe that if someone hurts us, there is a real, plausible reason. That way we can have some control over our lives. But the truth is, it's not true.

No matter what we are told, we will still hurt. If the person lies we don't learn, if they tell the truth, we don't learn. The only one we can learn from is our self.

So the next time you get burned, don't ask why the person lit the match. Ask why you put your hand in it.

 

THE END OF THIS PART