HOW CAN I HELP YOU? A QUERRIE FRAUGHT WITH FRUSTRATION, NOT OF THE SEXUAL KIND. THAT WOULD BE "HOW CAN I DO YOU?"

This is being written because of frustration. (AGAIN, not the sexual kind). This blog is read all over the world. I have recently received several emails from Norway. That would be great if I understood what the writer was asking.  She did mention ADD and Ritalin and life or death. Her English is quite questionable although it's 100% better than my Norwegian which is, let's see, .......nope. I can't think of one Norwegian word.  Which reminds me of the Beatles song, Norwegian Wood. Totally irrelevant, but that's my brain at work.

How could I not respond? I'm a former shrink and it's automatic to want to help. Even when you can't. Now, I'm not sure if she's suicidal or threatening me or maybe just having a laugh. How can I know from so far away? And even though I don't know this girl, I worry for her. Which is nuts on my end, because really, what can I do? What could I do?  What should I do? (I thought of asking one friend who has a couple who they are friends with who are Norwegian to intercede then I thought, yeah, that is really nuts. What could they do? Why should I involve people I don't know?)  My husband knows the answer. He will tell me to ignore it and do nothing. And even though I know he's right, there will be that little niggling part of my brain that doesn't just want (I don't know how to do it on this format, so pretend I put a line through the want, and replace it with the word can't) let it go.

The title to this post, starts with a simple enough question. How can I help you?  It's usually asked when you sit down to order something at a diner or at a department store or mall information station or a sales woman. Assuming you shop in places that still employ people who are on the floor to help you.  That too, is another post.

It used to be a question that was asked with much more frequency than it is today. That being said, it's a very human question.  People needing something from another person. People seeing the need, and asking, what can I do?


Your friend  says, I don't understand the homework. You ask. What can I do to help?
Your friend  says, I  didn't do the homework. You ask. What can I do to help?
Your friend is having surgery. You ask. What can I do to help?
Your friend is having relationship issues. You ask. What can I do to help?
Your friend needs to be bailed out of jail. You ask, What can I do to help?
Your friend needs to bury a body. You run very, very fast.

Well, the last two, thank God I haven't had to do, but the others? Sure. I may have been the one who didn't understand the homework. However, I was too ashamed to ask for help.

People, helping people are the luckiest people in the world. No, wait. That's not right. Weren't the words of the song,  people who need people are the luckiest people? 
Regardless,
One leads to the other. People who need people also usually need help from the people they need.


There are many days I wish that weren't so.

I started this yesterday morning. I planned on finishing it when I got back from Yoga.
I forgot and got busy doing things for the art show on Tuesday.  Then, last evening after my husband and I returned from a brief walk, I opened a kitchen cabinet to get a paper plate. I pulled my hand up and the glass knob cracked and broke off 

OUCH.  And lots of blood.  My husband is  the best. He calmed me down, washed, cleaned and bandaged my thumb where the gash was.  We sat and watched TV for an hour and I calmed down. I needed to take a look because I thought it might still be bleeding.  It was.

I needed that time before I could stop being in denial so I would be able to go to the emergency room.  So that was where we went. The parking lot was fairly full. I gritted my teeth and we walked in and it was empty. Two people walked in right after we did.
Thank you Universe.

I have a laceration and I hit a capillary.  I got three stitches and was very brave. I did my deep breathing and it didn't hurt. The lidocaine no doubt helped that, but those were three shots into the wound and I breathed through those too.   

I am already wondering how I will get through the next couple of days.  This little art show is my first ever. It's a good thing I got things done in advance, but the rest, you can only do the day of.

So the original question has been turned around since I am now the one who needs help.  Have I mentioned before that I HATE to ask for help?  that being independent is as important as breathing?  Another gem left over from childhood lessons.

My husband was going to help me set up. Together. I would help lifting the heavy table and hauling all the other things. Now, I'm not sure what I'll be able to do.

THEORY   Whatever you think or believe is what you want. Not what is.  Sometimes life happens to you to show you a lesson about that.  Usually, we forget the lesson. So, we have to keep doing it until we finally let it sink in and learn it.