GROWING OLD OR AS I LIKE TO CALL IT, PRETENDING IT'S NOT HAPPENING.

Grabbers, Can opener grabbers, OTC pain medicine, Step stool. Fire extinguisher, Yellow pages so you can call Ghost Busters.

Good morning. No one is more surprised to find me sitting here, than, well, me.
I will have to start and come back later. I have my Yoga class which I'm afraid of. Yes. I dragged a very heavy package yesterday and my back muscles are unhappy. So are my hands and some other parts I will need to stay on my feet. I'm going anyway because, I'm pretending it's not happening.

Then I will race (ha ha) home to change so I can meet some friends for lunch. Which I like to do except for the eating part. Because, as you age, your metabolism slows down and if you eat, it sticks like glue. You can pretend it's not happening, but me? Well, this one is harder in the land of pretend. I never learned to NOT see what's in the mirror. So, I try not to eat  too much. Except chocolate. So I can't waste calories on real food. Except on the doctors surveys, I pretend to eat enough vegetables and fruits. And they pretend to believe me.

Here is the drill for those of you who haven't reached this stage. There is no actual age. It's as individual as we are. Some hit it at thirty, some at sixty and some never get there. I'm not talking about people who die. God forbid. too tooo tooo spit.  Just people who are lucky and age well.  With or without surgical help. In this I include surgeries that save your life, replace body parts and make you look younger. Or make us pretend that you look younger.

LESSONS:

• You pretend your clothing shrank in the wash.
• You pretend that they are sealing bottles stronger than they used to, to insure that the contents don't get contaminated.
• You blame swelling in your hands on water retention.
• Just like they have made dinner plates larger, they have made your kitchen cabinets higher so you can no longer reach them.
• You, your spouse and your friends haven't aged. You are shocked to meet new people your age, and they look so old. You wonder where they went wrong.
• You pretend that what I just wrote is true.
• You're buying larger clothing sizes because the Chinese are either screwing with us, or don't understand our sizing because they are so small because they can't afford to eat.
• You pretend to believe what I just wrote.

  

• When the doctor puts you on medicine for Cholesterol, you know you're okay. High number run in your family so you don't have to worry about your eating habits.
• You pretend to believe what I just wrote.
• When your joints hurt, you blame the weather. Or an old surgery.
• You pretend that you are not in pain somewhere in your body on most days. This is true because it seems to move around. So what could be wrong? 

I could go on, but I don't think I need to. You're all quite smart. And when you or I don't know something, it is because we can't remember it. We are not stupid. And we don't have dementia. Hmm  Maybe I do? How would I know?

This reminded me I need to make an appointment with my hairdresser. Man, that is an old term. Who "dresses" their hair anymore? For that matter, who ever did? Anyway, I need to put some more dark in the light. So I can pretend I am younger so that I can think I'm younger?

this photo came up in a search for white haired people. Is my point vindicated?


Now I'm wondering why do I pretend? I can't speak for anyone else, although I usually do because who's going to stop me?
Anyway. Why? I have this image in my head of what "old" looked like when I was a lot younger. It looked awful. It probably was because medicine and lifestyle changes have come a long way. Still. Why should I care? I'm married and my husband would be fine if I gained weight and he wouldn't notice the wrinkles  or anything except if I cut my hair really short.

This was the first pic I found with my hair really short. I'm with Dr. Brian L. Weiss, author of Many Live, Many Masters. Actually this as the perfect picture to pull. I forgot. It doesn't matter. I'm going to be reincarnated and do it all again. YAY!

Okay. I don't want to grow old because to me, it brings me closer to the end of life. So, if I pretend I'm not there, maybe I won't have to acknowledge what we all know to be true.


 

Thanks for Reading