I did not become truly aware of my condition until I retired and moved to Florida. Until then, I generally had a good handle of where to be and what time and what date. This was camouflaged by having a work schedule. I had to know if it was the work week or the weekend. Still, I had several calendars around to write down appointments and dates and anything that was not in my highly organized routine.
Being in the north was also a mask. The four seasons helped clue me in to what month it might be. I couldn't confused August for January. The weather at least told me if the month was cold, I was likely to be in Winter.
Winter is coming. How nice of them to remind me.
In any event, CCCD stands for Chronically Calendar Challenged Disorder. I have it in what would be diagnosed as the severe range.
I am never sure what month it is. Even though I look at my calendar frequently, I can't remember. It doesn't help that in Florida our seasons are different. We have, very hot, moderately hot, hot, not so hot, cool, cooler and warm. Sometimes there is no pattern to these seasons so you must check the calendar or be confused. I, am usually confused. Because I have CCCD, the calendar no longer registers in my brain. It's like that disorder where people can look at you but not recognize your face. Everyone looks a like. Yup, it's very much like that.
I have been frequently embarrassed by appearing at a doctors appointment either on the wrong day at the right time, or the right day at the wrong time, or when I don't have an appointment.
How do I know the day of the week? Normally, I don't. I try to figure out what I did the day before to possibly get a clue.
Again, in the older times, when I watched live TV and didn't have everything on DVR, I had to know what night it was or I would miss my TV shows. Sadly, I can and do watch whatever I want whenever I can. Another clue has gone missing.
You would think I could look at my phone or computer to get the information. I forget to. That's kind of on me, but it's like looking at my watch. I still wear at least one. You know how that is. You look at it, nod your head, and proceed to forget what you saw.
I will even admit to going for professional help. That's one of the places I go to on the wrong day or time. It doesn't seem to be working or I'm not doing the work.
Even though my husband tells me I have a much better memory than he, and about other things, he is right, in this, he is like my seeing eye guide. (I think if I said dog he might feel hurt. sorry honey.) I don't know how I would know anything without him.
I have tried having multiple calendars and clocks all around the house. When I am home, I know what time it is. Of course that's not usually when I need to know, but it's progress. If I have an appointment, I write down the time I have to leave the house, not what time the apt. is for. Otherwise, I leave when I should be there.
I try to cross off the days so I know which days are gone. Did I mention that even if I remember what month it is, I don't know if it's the beginning, the middle or the end?
I love Christmas season because when people put up their lights I know it's December. The stores have me all off because they start too early. It's still been 90 degrees and I'm looking at Santa wearing fur. It's a good thing I don't have any winter clothes or I'd probably put them on.
My theory. This disorder is disguised by working and only having two days to be confused about. I believe that also, in changing ones geographic location you are messing with your inner time tables and clocks. If you move from the land of the midnight sun, you will be just as confused. People should NOT leave their time zones. Do not mess with your circadian rhythms. It will give you CCCD.
And, whatever day and time this is. Oh. It's Friday the 13th. And my last piece of furniture arrived an hour ago. Guess what. It was fucking damaged. Different shippers, different retailer. Way to go Universe.
I wanted to post some calendars that I have but I shall do that as soon as I send photos to the shippers whose fault it is not.
No comments:
Post a Comment